Birthday: Joely and her sister, Carrie, are having a combined birthday party next weekend. Everyone normally dresses up - "in fancy dress?" you asked. I love that phrase. As to whether or not Joely will be dressing up in costume this Halloween, it all depends on whether or not she can find a costume that goes well with her expectant state. She mentioned "a nun, or a school girl..."

Next guest: McG. Now there's a name! Simple, to the point, and much better than Cher. McG was the director of one of the Charlie's Angels movies, executive producer of The O.C., and has a new show called Supernatural. He arrived on stage fully clothed and break dancing. He asked "What happened to the whole 'guys don't talk thing'?...'that was for us'." He was referring to the fact that you told everyone he'd been starkers backstage when you went to his dressing room. I'm not one to cast aspersions, but, I think he likes you, Craig. We all do.

There was so much more, but I can't concentrate to save my life. You're on TV again right now and I have to pay attention. It's too tempting and I'm a weak woman. Besides, I like the way you say Kanakaredes. I'd love to take you to a Greek restaurant (Joseph's on Ivar?) just to hear you order spanikopita. And, let's invite Zach Galifianakis to join us. I want you to say his name repeatedly...and pet his soft hair with me. You'll like it, I promise.

Maybe I'll send you a big lovely P.S. later.

Your cheeky wee monkey and saucy little double-breasted blazer,

Joanie

Join the fun, check out The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson on CBS, Monday-Friday, 12:30 PM, Pacific. If you can't stay up that late and/or refuse to record the show, you can always catch up on the monologues and skits on the LLS website.

About the author: Joan's fascination and adoration of Craig Ferguson is little more than silly fantasy, with a dash of lust, the likes of which are common amongst single 39 year-old women. She lives many miles safely south of Los Angeles and CBS Studios. Two words: hot pretzels.