First guest: Stephen Collins, from 7th Heaven. I remember him from before Heaven. Whatever. He's wearing one of his wife's socks. And that's something to which I can totally relate. No, I've not worn my wife's sock. I don't have a wife. I have, however, worn two different shoes and not noticed until I was halfway through my day.

You know what Stephen Collins role I like best? Marty Phillips in Jumpin' Jack Flash with Whoopi Goldberg.

Collins is also a writer. Eye Contact was his first book. Stephen: "I'm almost a man. According to Hemingway, to be a man you must do three things: father a child, write a novel, fight a bull." Anyhow, forget Collins for a minute. You just talked about your book! I know I speak for many when I say "talk, man! We want to know all about it!"

Okay, so Stephen is in a band. He plays vintage rock, doo-wop, and ballads, which is cool with me. As long as he doesn't Tesh-out, we're fine. He plays with Laurence Juber. Juber was in town not long ago and will return to perform on November 20th. (Hey, I know things. I know the music scene in San Diego. Kind of.)

Second guest: Dr. Sanjay Gupta, correspondent for CNN, as well as a neurosurgeon. We like neurosurgeons. Between orthos and neuros, I'm damn lucky to have had some of the best working on my back. I'm sort of glad my docs aren't off reporting for CNN, though. It's hard enough to get an appointment with them as it is.

Craig, you asked: Do cell phones cause brain tumors?

Gupta: No studies have shown that it's true. However, one doctor in L.A. says that's what caused Johnny Cochran's tumor.

Whether or not cell phones are responsible for brain cancer, we do know that they're responsible for traffic accidents and general socially inappropriate conversations. Admit it, how many times have you been standing in the check-out line at the grocery store and heard the girl in front of you discussing what the doctor told her she should do for her Chlamydia. Or what about the guy who's on the line bragging to his homies about the chick he scored with last night? (Sorry, Craig, the chick just showed up. I'll kick the powderpuff out. No birds!)

Cell phones can be wonderful, but they're also often more trouble than they're worth. I don't want to hear Ms. Multi-tasker screaming at her nanny about what little Jacob is eating for dinner. I don't want to know about Mr. Corporate Brown-noser's urology appointment needing to be rescheduled. And, if you're waiting in line somewhere and talking on your cell phone - listen up, world - I'm cutting right in front of you. I'm not going to stand around until you finish your chat before moving up to the next available teller, cashier, lab technician, mechanic, or proctologist. I'm just not. Nobody should have to be stuck in that situation. If you're on the phone and it's so damn important, get out of line. The worst place to have to hear a cell phone conversation, though, is a public restroom. What on earth is so damn important that you really must talk to someone while you pee?