Dear Craig,

Consider my pants off and ready for fun! Hey, don't look at me that way. I'm just following directions. And, by the way - I'm always groovy.

Wow! You were bouncy as all get out tonight. I liked it.

Monologue: Bond. James Bond. Yes, we have a new James Bond, but I can't understand why they didn't choose someone more like....you. No matter what, no one will ever match Sean Connery. He's my favorite Bond. Ever. I do agree that there are fewer gadgets for Bond that the rest of us don't already have. Still, I think there are a good many inventions that could be developed. Invisibility. Think of what Bond could see if no one knew he was there.

Digital camera lessons? Honey, when I come over to help you with Galaga we'll just add on some time for the camera, okay?

According to you, cameras steal your soul. "Luckily, I work in show business so my soul has been gone for many, many, many years. Yes, I'm a minion of the Dark One."

Mega pixels, pixels, pixies, elves, fairies, and trolls. All of them are horribly complicated and require no explanations. Gnomes are even worse. How 'bout we agree to leave them be and go out for a nice dinner instead?

Your first head shots were taken by a morgue technician? Oh my. At least the guy had experience making people look lifelike. Simmer down, that wasn't nearly as insulting as it sounded. (I told you I was cheeky!)

Email: Claudia in Miami, M in New York, none from me. Sigh. This really is becoming rather pathetic.

First guest: Joe Mantegna is currently starring in Nine Lives with Kathy Bates, Holly Hunter, Ian McShane, and Dakota Fanning. From what I can tell, the film centers around nine women and the events that shape their lives. Unfortunately, the website for the movie is currently down.I like Joe Mantegna and will generally watch anything with him in it. I miss Joan of Arcadia, where I got my weekly dose of Joe. About the only projects he's worked on that I haven't been thrilled with are the Spenser: For Hire movies. Robert Urich will always be the only Spenser (not related to me) that I'd hire.

Mantegna has also provided the voice for Fat Tony on the Simpsons. He based the voice on the way his uncle speaks and related a story of how his uncle once accompanied him to the recording studio. Essentially, Mantegna said if he had to step out for the restroom, his uncle could fill in for him. Speaking of family, Joe's mom just turned 90, although she'll only cop to 88. Hell, if I made it to 90, I'd want credit for each and every year! Anyhow, talk kept returning to family and marriage.

According to Joe, the reason he's been married for 30 years is that he realizes that marriage is like a roller coaster, you have to expect the ups and downs. He's also extremely grateful that there's someone who wants to support the things he does. I think it's safe to say that's what most of us want from our relationships; someone who believes in what we do.