OPINION

The Emmys Suck

Written by Cerulean
Published September 19, 2005

I only Tivo'd the Emmys to see Adrian Grenier. Boy was I right. The Emmys suck. The cheesy production numbers have to go. They got Earth Wind and Fire to perform one of their songs with tacky new lyrics about TV shows. It was not pleasant to see the famous audience members trying to look polite while they watched this. Nearly every pre-scripted joke sunk like a stone. Every production number was gratuitous. Why were they performing the theme song to Fame? Way too many Emmys went to Everybody Loves Raymond. That show closed up shop a while ago, but I keep seeing stuff about it every time I turn on the TV. It wasn't all that. [Everybody Loves Raymond won three Emmys, some of which are repeats of awards they've won several times before.]

Speaking of things that are over, David Letterman came on and I saw a picture of Johnny Carson and I said, "No No!" It took months, possibly years, for the Johnny Carson hype to clear after he retired. Fatherless males everywhere waxed hysterical about the man and his mythic qualities until you wished they'd just form a twelve-step group and join in one wrenching scream, 'JOHNNY! JOHNNY! JOHNNY!,' until their guts were like rung out dishcloths. The passing of time heals all things, I thought. Sooner or later they will move on after appropriating all media for way longer than necessary. Eventually newspapers, magazines and TV screens made room for other content than the retirement of Johnny Carson. This was a person who was properly lionized and then some. A few years later, he passed away, again, duly remembered. I never dreamed that anyone would feel the need to further remember the most well-remembered man in America, but there he was behind David Letterman. As I fast-forwarded through it I saw more, more pictures of Johnny and it could only mean one thing, some kind of tribute to the most feted person on TV. The people behind the Emmys must be the lamest, most retarded people in show business.

Blythe Danner was nominated for three Emmys. Is Blythe Danner three times more talented than other actresses of her stature? The Life and Death of Peter Sellers, what a piece of shit. I don't mean necessarily the quality of the show; I mean the tendency of making movies out of absolutely every bit of the past, no matter now pedestrian. First of all, Peter Sellers was the guy in the Pink Panther movies. That's how we thought of him. He was a funny enough actor with a shtick. It's not the most brilliant minds of their generation that have shticks. After he died, the "Peter Sellers was a tortured genius" stuff began to emerge like a bad joke. Then, while it was being made, we kept hearing about the Peter Sellers biopic like it was something more than the dredging up of another dead body to supply material to our intellectually bankrupt age. It wasn't. This movie got ten times more publicity and advertising than it warranted. Then, just when I forgot it, there's Geoffrey Rush winning an Emmy for his performance in it. Then someone else was nominated for something to do with it. Just because someone is troubled doesn't make him a "genius." Just because you play that person doesn't make you worthy of an award, especially if it's your second bite of the Tortured Genius Apple. [The Life and Death of Peter Freaking Sellers won nine Emmys including Outstanding Acting, Writing and Directing in a TV Movie or Miniseries.]

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The Emmys Suck
Published: September 19, 2005
Type: Opinion
Section: Video
Writer: Cerulean
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#1 — September 20, 2005 @ 01:42AM — Joanie [URL]

Eh, I don't agree, but damn if you weren't funny in the delivery of the message.

#2 — September 20, 2005 @ 03:10AM — Cerulean [URL]

Well, thanks Joanie. That's a very civil reply for this place.

#3 — September 20, 2005 @ 05:45AM — Bob A. Booey [URL]

I love the viciousness of the piece, Cerulean, but Lost is a great show.

And this is coming from me. I hate almost everything on TV.

That is all.

#4 — September 20, 2005 @ 17:11PM — Cerulean [URL]

Well, again, for BlogCritics, a very civil post. Thanks.

#5 — September 20, 2005 @ 20:05PM — Jewels

I am still trying to stop crying, I'm laushginhg, oops, typo, laughing so hard!!! C., I knew I liked you for a reason! RIGHT ON!!! RIGHT ON!!! RIGHT ON!!!

>>> I just looked at the screen briefly and saw the puke-making sight of the entire cast and crew of Lost on stage,...<<<...>>> Edgar G. Robinson is the last person in the world who can read. They are handing out Emmys to random targets. Talent no longer matters.<<<

I tried to watch "Lost" as well, as so many folks I know are like, "Oh it's like the "X-Files", only way better", I don't know what the hell they're talking about...and the "E. L. Raymond" yeah, shut up already, AGGGHHHH.

Go C. !!!!

#6 — September 20, 2005 @ 20:59PM — Bob A. Booey [URL]

It's nothing like the X-Files. It's different than any other show I can think of.

There do seem to be a number of shows that are influenced by the X-files this season, however.

That is all.

#7 — September 21, 2005 @ 00:29AM — Jewels [URL]

Bobba, XXXXXX's you are talking to me, sort of again. You're not hurling "POOP", that's a good sign, right? I miss you.

X-Files was THE Best. Hey, see my "House" review? Love that show, at least for now.
Much LoveXXXXXXXXXXX's

#8 — September 21, 2005 @ 05:08AM — Bob A. Booey [URL]

When wasn't I talking to you, Jewels? It's sweet that ya missed me, baby, but I'm still right here. I never went anywhere :)

That is all.

#9 — September 21, 2005 @ 06:38AM — Cerulean [URL]

Thanks Jewels. Sometimes I work on my writing for hours. I love it when someone takes the time to notice it.

#10 — September 21, 2005 @ 11:46AM — Sharon

It's okay to hate television and rant about it. However, you lose all credibility when you say there were several nominations for "Two and a Half Men," which was nominated for nothing. So at least get your facts straight.

#11 — September 21, 2005 @ 14:22PM — Jewel [URL]

Sharon, check out this link Emmy Nominees and tell C. you're sorry. Supporting actresses in a comedy.... :)

#12 — September 21, 2005 @ 18:04PM — Cerulean [URL]

Maybe the show was more comprehensible whizzing by on fast-forward. She could have gone into an acid flashback when she saw Donald Trump dressed in overalls singing the theme song to Green Acres. I know a lot of people had to be hospitalized.

Conchata Ferrel and Taylor Holland of Two and a Half Men were both nominated Emmys this year for Outstanding Supporting Actresses in a Comedy.

I like Conchata Ferrel but her part is pretty small. There was an amusing interlude where Camryn Manheim played her sister (I think) and they totally hijacked the screen from poor Charlie Sheen. They almost physically crushed him too. Workers comp claim!

#13 — September 21, 2005 @ 19:50PM — Baronius

Cerulean - Sweet.

About the Peter Sellers thing: I have a theory about the Miniseries/Made for TV Movie category. It should be called the "Best Movie Actor who Deigns to do TV" Emmy. It has a pathetic quality to it, like inviting the cool kid you hardly know to your birthday party.

The Emmys are going to give a nomination to any big name, no matter the quality of their TV work. And miniseries frequently draw movie actors. (I vaguely remember Angels in America sweeping this category on the strength of some Oscar winners.) Based on number of viewers, the Best Sound Editor on a Talk Show is more important than Blythe Danner, but the Miniseries Emmy always gets a lot of attention. Why? Only one reason I can think of. It's geared to bring big names to the red carpet, the hall, and probably the stage.

Another example of the Big Dog Syndrome: last year, James Earl Jones was nominated for Best Guest on "Everwood". I love Everwood, and I thought he was solid, but was he the best thing on the show? He was the only nominee from Everwood, practically the only nominee from the WB. James Earl O'Malley wouldn't have gotten the nomination.

#14 — September 21, 2005 @ 22:32PM — Cerulean [URL]

I noticed that most of the nominations were from top-rated shows, Everybody Loves Raymond, Desperate Housewives, Lost. Nine Emmys went to the Sellers thing, a heavily advertised and promoted show with an expensive oscar-winning movie actor. They actually have a category for best reality competition shows now which is really, really pandering. I don't think Entourage won one Emmy. I have problems with the crudeness and misogyny on the show but there's talent there, perhaps more than all the shows that won combined. I understand that it only draws half the numbers of other HBO series (probably all the women tuning out). Is there a connection between lower ratings and the lack of Emmys? Is there connection between high numbers or big expenses and Emmys? Who is profiting from this? The Academy of Television Arts and Sciences? The Networks?

Four Emmy's for Brad Garrett for doing Everybody Loves Raymond for nine years in a row? He won this one against Jeremy Piven. That is simply insupportable. The Emmy's now have no legitimacy as an indication of talent. Sure, there is a dry wit and talent involved in Brad Garrett's performance, but is sure isn't anything that deserves four Emmy's. Doing a safe, repetitive show like that for nine years is not something that any serious award-giving body would acknowledge.

I read that the people who nominate the Emmys like to play it safe, although I don't really understand what is at stake. Obviously the selection process is heavily co-opted but I don't know why.

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