In which your hostess, teletart, indulgues in shallow conjecture, based entirely on pictures and those snappy little bios on network websites. Because snide shallow conjecture is what reality TV is all about!

I came late as a fan to The Amazing Race. I just didn't understand. I thought - yes, you can laugh at my foolishness now - that it was about teams racing round the world in pursuit of clues and rewards. I'm blushing just typing those words. Silly rabbit! Trix are for kids!

Of course The Amazing Race, or TAR, as I like to call it, is all about the strain and disintegration of relationships. Specifically, the disintegration that happens when there are two of you in a car and in a place you aren't familiar with, and you're both tired and ratty, and only one of you has a map. You know what I'm talking about. I can feel the bile rising from here.

So I wasn't sure how to feel about TAR announcing that Season 8 would be a family edition of the show. While families are the original source of all barely suppressed rage, would they provide as many fireworks as pairs? With three other people to pour the loathing on, instead of just one, would the irritability focus be split? Would their in-car behaviour be less dramatic, thanks to years of practice? Or would they crack under new pressures?

Only time and the 27 September premiere will tell. Until then, let's resort to our old friends: Generalisation Based on Website Info, and Catty Conjecture. Remember, we're not looking for the nicest family on the CBS website - we're looking for the most explosive. That's the mud that reality TV has dragged us into, and I'm going to relish getting dirty...

The Gaghans are a 40-something couple with two children, 9 and 12. They're very glowy and All-American, standing in front of a lovely Connecticut home. The couple runs marathons regularly. The kids are athletic and well traveled. Dad wants TAR to show them the value of working together as a family. So yeah, I'm pretty much already against them.

The Schroeders are much more promising. Their picture alone had me getting excited: the cocky gaze of Dad, the forced smile of Mom, the insincere grin of Daughter, the challenging sulk of Son. The teenagers are Dad's, from a previous marriage. Mom is described as a 'mediator'. You get the feeling that Dad will be yelling a lot. I'm sensing some possible flouncing from Daughter, and some pouting from Son. Bring it on.

The Aiellos are Dad and his three sons-in-law. Excellent. It gets even better when you learn that Dad's favourite movie is The Godfather. The boys look very similar, so the Aiello girls either have shared tastes, or don't like to stray far from family expectations. All of these pieces of information add up to what could be a very promising run.