Book Review: The Kiss & Kathryn Harrison
Published July 28, 2005
I had almost forgotten about Kathryn Harrison and her book, or infamous book, The Kiss, until I came across it during some research for a recent project—The Kiss, the book about Harrison's incestuous relationship with her father, a book for which, surprisingly or not, Harrison took much flack and some pretty harsh media attacks.
The story, simply put, is this: Harrison had a long and not-so-great relationship with her mother; she at least had some kind of contact with her, which although it was not good, and the mother was self-absorbed to say the least, and obviously still in love with the father, seemed better than nothing at all; the two lived with the grandparents for a while. As for the mother, even though she does date other men, she remains as "true and as loyal" to the father as one can be under the circumstances, as Harrison writes,"Romantically fixated" on him, the absent and almost-ghostly figure. She is true in her heart, in so many words and, for whatever reason, perhaps his charmisma or charm, none other can take his place.
Harrison is raised by her mother's parents, she writes, and lives in their house until she is seventeen. For whatever reason, it is essentially verboten to even mention her father's name. Her parents divorce when she is six months old, leaving Kathryn with few memories of her father and only a few vague photographs to go on, and what she is told by her family, which isn't so great and will prove to be prophetic.
Her father is absent, ghostly, almost mythical in some sense, in that not being able to discuss or talk about him necessarily lends him a strange power, and though this is inadvertent, no doubt, it creates in Harrison's mind a natural curiosity about who this man is; and more, she develops that curiosity as any child would about a missing or absent father.
When asked what she looks like by a family friend, Harrison says, I don't know, to which the family friend responds, "Ahh, a Guardian Angel." But the mother must break the spell: "Surely angels don't wear suits," she says snippily and almost snidely, as it sounds from what is written.
The fact of his being so forbidden only lends the father that "book on the top shelf" temptation that children have when you tell them they cannot have something; it only serves to make them yearn and become yet more curious, and surely this is what happened to young Kathryn. To compound the issue, the mother has literally censored family albums, editing out the father whenever possible and even editing out unflattering pictures of herself (this much is not so unusual, the rest seems more than odd), though she notes, the mother does save a few photographs of herself, and there remain some photographs of the father in the album, though he is "always alone in the frame."
- Book Review: The Kiss & Kathryn Harrison
- Published: July 28, 2005
- Type: Review
- Section: Books
- Filed Under: Books: Biography, Books: Families, Books: Literature and Fiction, Books: Nonfiction, Books: Women, Review
- Writer: Sadi Ranson-Polizzotti
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Comments
right: crypto, i agree with your obviously astute observation. in Exposure she felt much freer to write about what had happened to her and even though The Kiss is cleaner in some ways - by that i mean, clearer, less cluttered if you will, it doesn't pack the emotional wallop of say, Exposure etc. Harrison can be great when she wants to be; obviously not ever going to be a classic but at the same time, a good contemporary writer. The Kiss was a bit of a let down though i worry that this is because of some voyeuristic thing on our part, and wanting to know more than perhaps we have a right? I'm not sure, it's just a fleeting thought...
thanks, as ever, for reading... be well...
It was a weird book. Perhaps I didn't enjoy it because it was hard to sympathize with the protagonist. Like you say in your article, I'm of the opinion that she could have said no at any time. *shrugs*
it's certainly complicated, but yes, i know what you mean... she could have said no at some point, that's my own personal feeling and it seems like Harrison had many unresolved issues with her father and perhaps on some level wanted, though i hate to say that, or needed this to happen; i can't say, i'm not her and wouldn't presume to know. So i can only say that it is no doubt a lot more complicated than most of us can ever know. But yes, i think you and i agree for the most part.
As i wrote ~~~ Mr. Henson:
Certainly, there may be some validity to that argument, though it seems to me a surface-level argument. Yes, she had reached the age of consent, but the abuse of a father can and often does continue beyond childhood, and if the abuse is bad enough, or the lacking or the loss perceived or real or otherwise, it can have a profound effect on a child, such that they are manipulated into a relationship as an adult. It may be rare, but then, where are the statistics on this? And given the shame that all too often surrounds survivors of incest, it seems unlikely that all or even most cases would be reported.
i don't see how that romanticizes in any way incest, and having written a great deal about incest as the terrible and negative thing that it is i am shocked to hear anyone say that i would write or feel otherwise. I have counseled incest survivors as a layminister, i have worked with incest survivor groups and more....
How you could possibly see any endorsement on my part here strikes me as outrageous. If you are speaking about harrison then take it up with her agent, publishing house, write to them and have the letter forwarded.
To me, she is and was a victim/survivor like any other who deserves nothing but our full empathy. If you cannot find it in your heart to empathize with her for sharing a story that may have actually helped other people, then i'm sorry, i just can't see where you are coming from...
I don't know you, but ask yourself this: what have you done to help incest survivors? Maybe a great deal - i don't know, and i dont' mean that as a challenge. I mean it as a comment that i pray will cause some introspection and less perjorative judgment of someone who had the courage to come forward.
Whatever you think, you can give her that much; i do not feel she romanticizes; i may not like Harrison, but she captured for me perfectly the seduction of a father on a young girl and it is a slow and calculated sick seducuction.
I'm sorry you couldn't see it that way.
Thanks for reading,
sadi r-p.
Did it occur to you that she didn't say no to the relationship because she wanted the relationship? Why are women always victims? And why are men always predators? Is it really that unfathonable to think they were sexualy attracted to each other and went with their passion? This review of the book didn't do much for me because it had a priori moral judgments (which I guess is a fancy term I just made up that simply means prejudice) and that doesn't tell me anything about the book, just the author's puritanical worldview. Which perhaps that's what the field of criticism is really only about in the first place.
Hi Tim:
I think in any relationship of this sort - father and daughter, or teacher professor, or psychiatrist patient, priest etc - then there is a power balance and that makes all the difference. The onus is the person with the greater power to respect those boundaries.
Listen, i'm not a Harrison "fan" - and no, i'm not going to go along with your theory of, in short, "she wanted it" (in so many words, this is what you are saying when you say she wanted to sleep with him, no?). That's going too far. It's quite normal for young girls to be coy and taquine around older men, esp. their fathers, but again, the onus is on the parent not to do anything and deal with it as is.
I'm working on a whole book about this re: Lewis Carroll who many say was a pedophile and i just don't buy it for one second. So it's hardly, as you can see i hope, that i am ready to jump on the shrill-feminist-bus of "he did it he did it he did it" with absolutely no proof positive.
Harrison's book is her memoir. She's written other books that i think are far superior like "Exposure" which if you ask me is closer to the 'truth' (if indeed the story is true and i see no reason why she would make it up only to be flamed, and more, to be flamed by you, to have you flame me, etc etc - that is just stupid).
I think she is genuine. Maybe she wanted the affair for a while or thought she did, but to think that she wanted this in her right mind is simply put, nuts. She was a young girl in crisis and in need of help and likely medication as well and i'm glad she finally got the help she needed.
People will do things out of character when they are screwed up psychologically and they may even do them willingly, but does that mean we take advantage of them? OR would it have been better and more respectable for the father to have sought the help his daughter, who he supposedly loved?
AS i said, i'm not a big fan of Harrison, but you put me in a position in which you are asking me to condone what essentially boils down to an unstable young woman experiencing a break of somekind likely and being taken advantage of by someone who, by rights and who ought know better, she ought trust. That's sad... pitiful.
I can't say anymore about it.
I'm afraid you and i are just going to have to agree to disagree on this one. I don't think she 'wanted it' at least, not in her 'right' mind. I understand you sticking up for men and that's fine; maybe it would help if men did not molest their daughters then there would be nothing to write about - that would be one rememdy and i write this as someone who loves men and who has done a great deal of reseach on the topic, as no doubt, have you... we're stuck.
i think we've all said what we have had to say - at least, i have. I'm glad you read and chimed in though. You raise a valid point and make me address something that perhaps i did not address in the piece.






I'll not say how, but I do have personal experience with child abuse, and I know how it colors every other experience in the child's life, even into adulthood.
Harris is simply "writing through" this topic; perhaps when she has included it as theme or sub-note in a few more books, it will free her to write about something else.