Worst Popular Album Covers... Ever
Published July 14, 2005
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Background
Back on June 9th I posted my top "Worst Album Cover" picks. In terms of "bad art" these were in my opinion, the cream of the crop, but they were mostly by independent "musicians" that no one has ever heard of. I wanted to do something a little different this time.
The Challenge
I put the challenge out to some of the best music blogs around to submit what they felt was the "Worst Popular Album Cover", meaning it should be by an artist that people are familiar with. Community lists are much more interesting to me since the opinions of many carry more weight than the opinion of one. If you have a music blog and would like to participate in future lists leave me a note and I will check out your site.
The List
Well, without further ado, I present to you the 10 Worst Popular Album covers, each selected by the blog or website listed after each entry. They were ordered by me with no particular rating system in mind. Click on any cover image to see a larger version in all of its hideous glory. Please add your nominations for worst album cover to the comments.
1. Funkadelic - One Nation Under A Groove - 1978
Luckily, the amateurish cover art on Funkadelic's "One Nation Undr A Groove" has nothing in common with the ground-breaking music contained beneath the packaging. It's not so hard for me to understand how this artwork got by the band. (They may have been stoned), but to get by the record company, management and manufacturer? Did no one have the kiwis to say, "This artwork sucks!" It looks like it was done by a 13 year old special needs student on the inside of a Fruit Loops box. I get the Iwo Jima reference, but what the hell is up with the chick's arm in the green dress? And why the washed out magenta background? Did the artist run out of paint? Or maybe he lost it along with his perspective somewhere. Abhor the cover, but don't let it stop you from owning this classic album.
Selected by Robert of the Radish
2. The Beatles- The White Album - 1968
I love album artwork, it is what keeps me in record shops at least once a week, digging through bargain bins and new releases. On The White Album, the Beatles took the easy route and simply put the text "the Beatles" embossed on a blank white cover, with a unique serial number stamped on the cover "to create the ironic situation of a numbered edition of something like 5 million copies." Elegant, artistic and aesthetically pleasing to some, I see this cover as an easy way out, the path of least resistance. Give me something delightfully tacky or artistically intriguing, (or anything in-between). Unfortunately, for me, the pop art of this cover has not aged well.
- Worst Popular Album Covers... Ever
- Published: July 14, 2005
- Type: Opinion
- Section: Music
- Filed Under: Music: Lists
- Writer: Robert Burke
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Comments
It was tough to be sure. I really think it was the animal fur that pushed it over the edge.
Funkadelic just wouldn't be Funkadelic without Pedro Bell's artwork. Yeah, it's "bad," but it works. It's over the top. This record defined funk in every way possible: it's funny, weird, twisted, trippy, and stinky (Clinton was into his doo-doo fetish then) and the art matches it perfectly. And the front cover is nothing compared to the inside cover, with the busty orgasmic black babe and the gushing fountain.
It only "works" because it is associated with such a classic and important album. I agree with you 100% on that. Pedro improved by ""Electric Spanking", but this artwork is undefensibly bad.
Interesting how all but one of those Phil Collins mugs is cropped just below the hairline.
Speaking as a fellow girl, Amanda, you are so right about Rush! What were they thinking with that cover?
I'd like to think the Satanic Majesties cover was intended as a send-up of Sgt. Pepper's, but I'm probably reading too much into it.
wasn't the whole RECORD a reaction to Sgt. Pepper's?
plus, the original release had one of those freaky, wavey pieces of plastic over the center photo. i forget what happened when you moved the record around while looking at it.
prolly saw god or something.
Funny thing is, Their Satanic Majesties Request is my FAVORITE album cover...at least on the original vinyl, where it had one of those 3D covers that changes when you tilt it (which basically shows the Stones with their heads turned). It's so campy that it's genius!
great choices, thanks Robert et al! I too like the Satanic cover, and see the Pedro covers as intergral to the Funkadelic aesthetic, but I don't like them all that much either
Mike (re: comment #9), I agree with you for the very reasons you stated. It is one of those things that will get it on a worst list AND a best list. Like politics there will always be opposition.
remembering back to punk days, DOA's (Van BC)first EP was printed basically on a white album sleeve. That was the cover. Life In General (Seattle) had this one EP that was actually quite good and minimalist. Both in black and white. Punx saving money. Another case of "Is it awful or great!" Could be a game show...
Regarding Rush: 2) Girls don't, never have, and never will like it.
Tell that to my wife. She LOVES Rush, as do I, which is yet another reason I love her.
Geddy Lee has a weird sounding high pitched voice
Actually, no, he doesn't. Only on the first handful of Rush albums is he hitting the extreme high notes, but if anyone says they don't mind Robert Plant's feminine vocals, they cannot possibly nick Rush for Geddy's vocals - Geddy does and always has sounded male. Plant often did not. This cliche got old long, long ago. The majority of Rush songs and albums do not feature Geddy singing in a particularly high register. It's an annoying and cheap insult made by people who can't actually put into words the real reasons why they don't like the band.
I love Rush too, but common, there are two major flaws with the band.
1. Geddy Lee's voice
2. Neil Peart's Lyrics
Bad, bad, bad, fortunately the vituosity and songwriting are good enough to help me overlook the bad.
Kinda like Liv Taylor with a zit on her forehead. It's not that hard to look past.
"good as i been to you" by Bob Dylan is a truly horrendous album cover, made all the more so by the fact that the record is sublime. horrible horrible cover right there.
also, 50 Cent - The Massacre, wherein he appears to have his head photoshopped onto a different photograph entirely. if this isn't the case, it sure as hell looks like it.
i've got an album called "120 Removed" with truly hideous cover art.
;-)
Amanda actually picked Prince, not Rush... Pantagruel picked Rush.
As far as females not liking Rush, my wife actually saw Rush in concert, whereas I haven't. I still can't tell, though, if that means she likes them (she only owns Counterparts.)
w/r/t the Prince selection... in total agreement...let's just say I purchased every Prince album on vinyl (up until CD's) except that one. That one had to be on cassette for the smallest of covers. Dirty Mind LP was probably the hardest purchase I ever made as a 13-year old (I bought all his albums after getting Controversy first in 1981) but I couldn't settle for cassette on that one.
the wife loves Rush. we saw them play at the tweeter center (was it still called great woods back then) where they played the full length 2112 that appears on Different Stages.
Tom Johnson said,
"people who can't actually put into words the real reasons why they don't like the band"
I wonder why you didn't read the very first thing that I wrote about Rush. I totally love Rush and I very much like to listen to this album. You might also notice that Geddy does hit the high notes on this album. Tell me that he didn't neuter himself to sing "The Trees" with a straight face.
"There is unrest in the forest, there is trouble with the trees...."
Now there's some classic Neil Peart schlock lyrics
It is funny that Phil Collins hardly ever strayed from the close up of his face. There have many interviews where he expresses self-depricating humor about it. According to him, he doen't think that his face is very handsome (with the scar and everything.) But he stuck with it.
Alan Parsons Project's Eve just grossed me out. Same with Zappa's Weasels Ripped My Flesh. It can be argued that both were appropriate for the music contained within, but still. Ewwww.
You guys want to hear the higest note that Geddy Lee sings. Check out the Album "Caress of Steel" on the sequence entitled "Fountain of Lamneth" and listen at the end of "Didacts and Narpets" hahaha its a drum solo
"Amanda actually picked Prince, not Rush... Pantagruel picked Rush."
Oops. My mistake. Just misread it.
I don't dispute Rush's talent, they're just not my particular cup of tea. I have some non-traditionally-feminine musical tastes myself.
Duke -- Agree totally on the Good As I Been To You cover. It reeks. And I've been spending a LOT of time with that record over the past month, especially "Black Jack Davey."
We're lucky they limited this to "popular" album covers (although I don't know anyone who bought "Dirty Work"). The non popular album covers are more interesting and worse.
I agree that Prince's cover has the look of a John Holmes movie poster--or one of the actors in the "Let's Get Physical" video. But I thought For You was a worse cover...with that huge 'fro and the blurring to Prince's right side, he looks like he's coming out of hyperdrive to pose for the cover.
BTW, I never thought Rush was a particularly DUDE band, but it has been pointed out to me that they're a particularly GEEK band...
Randy -- I bought Dirty Work. Good one for the underrated file, the title cut being a nice jab at Reagan that also works amazingly well with President SwiftBoat.
I had forgotten how bad that Prince cover was. My dad has that on vinyl and it's always been an unusual one. I usually like Funkadelic/Parliament's covers, but I have to agree that the One Nation Under A Groove cover is probably the worst one.
One cover I think should've been included is Michael Jackson's Invincible. The extreme closeup on his face is probably the real reason why it didn't sell as well as previous albums.
Just read thru all the comments completely - good work guys. There is some excellent writing here and I laughed out loud several times!
Michael J., it was totally a toss-up as to which Prince cover I would pick, it was either the one you mentioned, the one where he's all naked and stuff or "Prince." I think the one I picked has the right level of creepiness to push it over the edge.
Mike, Rush is indeed pretty much a "geek" band and I'm pretty proud to align myself with them.
As for lyrics, that's a personal-taste issue, I guess. He seems to turn off people who only want to hear about love, or women, whatever - cliches, generally. I'd rather hear Peart's non-lovesong, non-women-oriented thoughts than pretty much every other song-writer out there - Elvis Costello, Aimee Mann, and a few others obviously excepted. As I've said before, you don't have to like Peart's lyrics, but to actually write them off as "bad" reveals that you probably aren't really paying much attention, or maybe haven't actually listened to the band's post-1978 material. His songwriting is simply not for everybody - it can be "cold" and impersonal, but it's intelligent. I have no problem with people disliking the lyrics because they're cold, and even welcome it. At least they're different. Not only that, but his three books are quite well written - he's no Hemingway, but he certainly has a way with words. As the Library Journal says of his latest book, Traveling Music, "Peart's writing is lyrical and his tale poignant, fully capturing an extraordinary journey, both as a travel adventure and as memoir."
I could sit back and jokingly go along with the naysayers, but I'm just tired of it. It's just so damned hypocritical to knock Rush for their lyrics and then see all this praise heaped all over pure drivel like Coldplay.
Well said, Tom. It's all too easy to criticize musicians when they are caught trying to extend themselves. The common criticism is that they are "pretentious." I never understood this. I like pretentious musicians. There's this idea that rock music has to be gut level only, and that it shouldn't appeal to our minds. That kind of stuff is fine -- I like Prince too -- but hats off to Peart for not playing by the rules.
Regardless of whether you like Neil Peart's lyrics, I think we can all agree they're better then Geddy Lee's attempts.
One thing about Peart's lyrics that I will concede is that sometimes they are awkward in the context of the harmonic and melodic structure. In a finely-crafted song, the lyrics should not stick out like sore thumbs, and sometimes they do. Like, say
"I knew he was different in his sexuality
I went to his parties as a straight minority."
When I listen to that song (Nobody's Hero), the words don't really mesh well into the music. Maybe it's just me.
And Rush has some fine album covers, by the way, in spite of that ridiculous Hemispheres cover.
Drake, have you heard Geddy's solo album that came out in 2000? He's picked up a lot from 25 years with Peart. The lyrics are a hell of a lot better than "Cinderella Man" and the self-titled Rush album. And, musically, it's pretty damned good, too - it soars where Test for Echo stumbled.
Duane: "Nobody's Hero" is definitely not a good example of Peart's abilities. A noble attempt at an "issue" song, but the outcome was not a great result.
It have nothing to do with Neil's lyrics not being "about love, or women"
Neil Peart is just an over-the-top, horrible lyricist.
"I stand atop a spiral stair
An oracle confronts me there
He leads me on light years away
Through astral nights, galactic days"
"Through the void
To be destroyed
Or is there something more?
Atomized ---- at the core
Or through the Astral Door ----
To soar...."
Case closed
I'll just say that I very much LIKE the cover of Their Satanic Majesties Request. The artwork reflects the title, which makes it not quite the hippy-dippy thing you imagine.
Women tend not to like Rush? News to me; I've been a fan since discovering the band in '79. Long live geek bands! Some of Peart's lyrical constructions indeed are a tad clumsy, but he discusses ideas and issues. That, IMO, is a good thing. ("Nobody's Hero" is proof that they all can't be gems, but bravo to Neal Peart for the attempt.) Same for many of the artists damned as being "pretentious." Sex and partying and cars get old after a while; sometimes it is good to listen to music that makes one think about weighty topics or imagine other worlds.
Uh, Robert, you're pretty much making my point for me. You're talking about lyrics in a song that's nearly 30 years old. One example from a period that I specifically mentioned was a period that Rush has moved on from, and exactly what I said about not paying attention to anything the band has done post-1978, when they pretty much entirely shed the prog-rock lyrics altogether. In their defense, I would advise you to compare their lyrics to other prog-based lyrics of the time. You can't just compare these lyrics to those of any other music out there. That's like comparing Rembrandt to Pollack - there's nothing to compare. Why not look at something more "recent," say "Anagram (for Mongo)" from 1989's magnificent Presto?
There's a snake coming out of the darkness
Parade from paradise
End the need for eden
Chase the dreams of merchandise
There is tic and toc in atomic
Leaders make a deal
The cosmic is largely comic
A con they couldn't conceal
There is no safe seat at the feast
Take your best stab at the beast
The night is turning thin
The saint is turning to sin
Raise the art to resistance
Danger dare to be grand
Pride reduced to humble pie
Diamonds down to sand
Take heart from earth and weather
The brightness of new birth
Take heart from the harvest
Shave the harvest from the earth
Reasoning is partly insane
Image just an eyeless game
The night is turning thin
The saint is turning to sin
Miracles will have their claimers
More will bow to Rome
He and she are in the house
But there's only me at home
Rose is a rose of splendor
Posed to respond in the end
Lonely things like nights,
I find, end finer with a friend
I hear in the rate of her heart
A tear in the heat of the art
The night turns thin
The saint turns to sin
Pretty clever and interesting, huh? Not necessarily a story, but the concept behind the song outweighs its need to "mean something": each line is composed of anagrams, as the title suggests.
Like I said, you're focusing on one small period of the band and have ignored the majority of their career. You're using 5 years to represent a 30+ year career. That's disingenuous, plain and simple. You're looking for an easy target, and that's cheap. Why don't you check out the lyrics from their last album, Vapor Trails? I highly doubt you'll be able to make the claims you've been making just by looking at this one album. Or MOST of their albums. Get past the prog and you'll find the band had pretty strong lyrics, with the occasional dud - I dare you to find any lyricist who doesn't occasionally come up with those.
Robert, I will counter with
"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."
and
"You know how that rabbit feels
Going under your speeding wheels
Bright images flashing by
Like windshields towards a fly
Frozen in the fatal climb
But the wheels of time
Just pass you by
Wheels can take you around
Wheels can cut you down
We can go from boom to bust
From dreams to a bowl of dust
We can fall from rockets' red glare
Down to "Brother can you spare..."
Another war
Another wasteland
And another lost generation."
Faulkner? No, but still, that's some good shit compared to, say,
"No stop signs, speed limit
Nobody's gonna slow me down
Like a wheel, gonna spin it
Nobody's gonna mess me round
Hey Satan, payed my dues
Playing in a rocking band
Hey Momma, look at me
I'm on my way to the promised land
I'm on the highway to hell
(Don't stop me)"
I could have pulled tacky, pretentious lyrics from any Rush album,
READ: Vapor Tails
"Stratospheric traces of our transitory flight Trails of condensation..."
Sorry, but, it just doesn't get much tackier.
Don't get me wrong, I love Rush. Moving Pictures was the first album I ever bought. And no one debates Neil is the best Rock drummer on the plantet, he has been for a long time.
And I appreciate his willingness to go for it lyrically, eveb though he fails SO horribly 80% of the time.
My idea of good lyric?:
- Tom Waits
- Camper Van Beethoven
- Leonard Cohen
- Bob Dylan
A good start.
I will give you "Subdivisions".
I am not saying everything he wrote sucks. Just a majority of it.
He did very well with "Subdivisions". Good imagery, without the hokey, self-important gibberish.
Some friends of mine actually jokingly say "OK, Mr. Peart" when one of us tries to use words not in our regular vocabulary to sound intelligent, when in fact we sound bombastic.
Oooh, there's that p word again. OK, Robert, I see that you're not one of those evil Rush haters. You can't be all bad (hehe).
So, Tom Waits, huh? Problem there is that I can't listen to that kind of stuff. Dylan. Gagola. I'd rather listen to Geddy clearing phlegm than to Dylan. No offense. There has to be some interesting music. Lyrics can't carry a song, but good music can, even if the lyrics stink.
QUOTE: "Lyrics can't carry a song, but good music can, even if the lyrics stink."
I agree.
When you have a song with both however, you have art.
What's wrong with wanting to use as much of the language as possible? Gosh, the snobbery.
Whatever -- album covers!
QUOTE: "What's wrong with wanting to use as much of the language as possible?"
Absolutely nothing, but do it well before you do it publically.
Duane!! what music can be more interesting than Desolation Row or Highway 61 Revisited or, god in heaven, Shelter From The Storm!?
mind you, i fall firmly within the lyrics are the dominant force camp. bad lyrics will make a song totally unlistenable to me. this is why i can't enjoy Riders On The Storm, for one thing.
but thats another list...
in saying that, mind, the lyrics thing only works for me when the music is pleasant to mine ears also. so who knows??
Hey,
What is everyones FAVORITE album cover?
If I had to choose, I would say mine is Neutral Milk Hotel's "In The Aeroplane Over The Sea"
Duke, well I guess that puts us on opposite ends of the spectrum. Which is fine. It likely goes back to our respective childhoods. I got my first radio in the early 60s (yeah, I'm an old fart) and remember loving early Stones and Beatles, and playing air drums to Steppenwolf, and sort of hearing the lyrics but not really understanding all of what they were saying, and it didn't matter. "Here she comes now, say Mony, Mony..." Yeah, whatever, man. A few years later, when I heard Cream jamming away, well, that was the good stuff to me. And while the lyrics to White Room are able to do some conjuring, for the most part, Cream were jammers, and that's what mattered to me. I usually don't even pay attention to the lyrics til I've listened to a song several times over, and it usually doesn't matter. I suppose I have been deprived of some excellent poetry and messages, but I'm a sucker for a nice guitar solo played over two chords that vary by a step, or a growly bass line, or a tasty key change, or syncopation that gets my head bobbing, or a long, patient intro (Crazy Diamond, say).
Duane, that makes all the sense in the world. an now that i think about it, plenty of my favourite songs don't have especialyl glorious lyrics. at the minute, the most played song in the house de duke is fuck forever by babyshambles, and whilst Pete Doherty is a truly talent poet (so much so that the government saw fit to send him off to Russia for a time on the back of his poetry, i believe), that track is nothin but a brilliant defiant slab of chunking and churning and screaming. so i dunno what my stance is. certainly i pay attention to the lyrics, and i'd rather hear 43 verses written wonderfully than a two minute long guitar solo. hmm... i must think on this at length
"Xanadu ---- held within the pleasure dome
Decreed by kubla khan
To taste my bitter triumph
As a mad immortal man
Nevermore shall I return
Escape these caves of ice
For I have dined on honey dew
And drunk the milk of paradise
More than paradise"
Neil Peart
In the badness battle between Prince and Micheal Jackson, Prince still won...
hard to beleive
I submit the following for worst popular album covers:
A Quick One by the Who. I love the Who, but this album cover is just dorky. Did they really think it would be cool to have song titles floating out of their instruments like that?
Tuesday Night Music Club by Sheryl Crow. I think Sheryl's a beautiful woman, but the spelling-her-name-out-in-blocks idea was a bad one.
Revolver by the Beatles. This one is hard for me, because in my opinion this is the best album released by the most important rock band of all time. If I was sentenced to a deserted island and was allowed to take only one CD, this would probably be it. But I've always found the cover art to be incredibly amateurish.
One of my favorites, I am ashamed to confess, is Rick Springfield's Working Class Dog. The music is useless, but oh, the photo on the cover still reduces me to laughter and tears every time I see it.
"Well alright.
Starchild
Citizens of the Universe
We have returned to claim the pyramid
Partyin' on the mothership
I am the mothership connection
get down in 3-D
light year groove"
George Clinton
"Mothership Connection"
That would be a great one. But so many to choose from..
Well, as mentioned, Robert, fave album cover is the herein-maligned Their Satanic Majesties Request. Runner-up is probably the cover of Elvis' first album, the aptly named Elvis Presley. If there's another album cover that better captures the primal, spontaneous energy of early rock & roll, I haven't seen it.
Worst lyrics? I know it's a cliche in such matters, but can it POSSIBLY get worse than
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I could take it
Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh noooooo....
I always liked the Santana Abraxas album cover. It used to scare to crap out of me as a child.
regarding best covers- Never Mind The Bollocks is just a damn well wonderful cover. not as good as the Get Over It soundtrack, but wonderful nonetheless.
Favorite album cover? First one that comes to mind is Dinosaur Jr.'s Green Mind
Even after days of research, it might still be that one, though...
Shellac's Terraform is pretty cool as well...
I think I have the next community list. "Worst Lyrics"
Here's one of those times when I wish Blogcritics had a killfile. I know you'll dedicate most of the list to Rush, and you'll throw the word "pretentious" around as much as you can. And I also know you'll focus on the early period of the band, painting with that broad-brush that you wield so well. Well, I hope it makes you feel superior. Because it sure as hell makes you look pretty damned childish.
Of all the extremely awful lyricists in the world that get held up as something meaningful, you pick on Peart, whose lyrics may not be Dylan or Costello or Waits, but they're solid grammatically and thematically, generally have good flow and rhyme-schemes, and do something different than most of the lyricist out there try to do. It just makes you look like an opportunistic provoker - now you know this is one of those hot-button issues for real fans, and this makes you feel real superior. Look at your responses to those of us who've supported Rush and Peart. Every chance you've gotten you make a nasty little dig. That's childish. An adult would have just said "not my kind of thing," and might have even been big enough to actually say he's a decent lyricist. Because he is, and you know it. In the entire spectrum of music, you have to admit that he's better than an incredibly large portion of them out there. He's better than most of what makes it on the radio. He's better than most of what doesn't make in on the radio. No, he's never going to be Dylan /et al, but he doesn't need to be. Rush is a rock band, and for a rock band, Peart's lyrics are pretty damned impressive. And here's the thing that really gets me: you talking about how "bad" Peart's lyrics are do exactly what you accuse him of - sounding pretentious.
Tom,
1. If we did a "Bad Lyrics" list the whole list would not be Rush, I would only contribute 1 song and it might not even be a Peart lyric.
2. I don't concentrate on one 5 year period. I also quoted horrible lyrics from "vapor Trails" and could point out pathetic Peart lyrics from any album they have released. His hokiness trancends time.
3. I aree with you that Neil Peart lyrics ARE better than most of the crap on the radio today, but that does't make all his lyrics "good"
4. It doesn't make me feel superior to share my opinion on Neil Peart's lyrics. In fact, it botherss me to do so, because I love the band. Are you saying that people should keep their opinions to themselves? If you are, you might not want to visit an opinion site like Blogcritics.
5. I was big enough to give credit where it was due, maybe you should read my above comments where I praised his drumming and even some of his lyrics.
"I am not saying everything he wrote sucks. Just a majority of it.
He did very well with "Subdivisions". Good imagery, without the hokey, self-important gibberish."
you all should read one of Peart's books to see where he's coming from.
he's far more down to earth than people give him credit for.
A great song that's great not in spite of, but because of, "bad" lyrics: "Surfin' Bird" by the Trashmen.
I do want to read his book. I keep meaning to pick it up, but just haven;t yet. I know he went through hell when he lost both his wife and daughter within the same year.
All I know is that he got on a motorcycle and traveled without any place to go and that the book is the memoirs of this trip.
It's called "Ghost Rider: Travels on the Healing Road"
in order of publication:
-The Masked Rider: Cycling in West Africa
-Ghost Rider: Travels on the Healing Road
-Traveling Music: Playing Back the Soundtrack to My Life and Times
all pretty interesting. man the crap he went through (and wrote about)...Ghost Rider is pretty inspiring.
Quit obsessing over Rush's lyrics. Everyone knows the Scorpions wrote the worst lyrics.
But we love them anyway.
I've been a Blogcritics writer for a long time, Robert, since February 2003, actually. I don't get to post as often as I used to, unfortunately . . .
Peart's lyrics aren't even remotely in the realm of "horrible" enough to warrant the kind of vicious attack you've been laying into them with. What your comments boil down to, after removing the razor blades and acid-bath attacks, is that you're just not into them. That does not make them horrible. You just don't care for them. My guess is, judging by who you consider to be good lyricists (and I agree with those - they are great,) that you like storytellers. What you don't seem to get is that songwriters don't necessarily have to write a story to have decent lyrics.
But, in general, this list is helping turn Blogcritics into what VH-1 has become - it's just stupid "worst" list after "worst" list. Lists like this are exercises for people who have nothing new to say, things to generate controversy and linkage from Fark.com. All the good music in the world and you have to spend all this energy focusing on the bad. Why not use your time and skills to talk about what's good out there? What a waste of opportunity.
Tom,
I appreciate you trying to tell me what I like, but you have no clue, although I like songs that tell "a story" it's has nothing to do with whether I consider a lyric "good or bad"
It has to do with structure, passion and whether or not the words paint a picture or an emotion in my head.
Maybe you should actually visit my site. If you took the time to do that you would see that 98% of my posting highlight what we feel is good.
There is nothing wrong with highlighting what is bad though. It's interesting and sparks conversation. If you don't like it, ignore it an move on. Why the hell would you get involved in the argument by commenting here if you think the very premise of "worst of lists" is a "waste of an opportunity"?
You make as much sense as a Neil Peart lyric.
You're problem is you cannot think objectively about Neil Peart, because you obviously idolize the man, which I must say is pretty pathetic.
If you would READ my posts again you would see I give the man praise where it is deserved and criticism where it is needed.
Neil has wrriten some great lyrics even classic (maybe):
See "Subdivisions", "Limelight"
But he has written A LOT of trash:
"Vapor Trails", "The Trees" and my favorite "By-Tor and the Snow Dog"
"The tobes of hades
Lit by flickering torchlight
The netherworld is gathered in the glare
Prince by-tor takes the cavern"
If you can defend that crap you have issues. That is just bad sci-fi trash.
"THE TOBES OF HADES"! for god's sake Tom! SNAP OUT OF IT! STEP AWAY FROM THE 20 SIDED DIE!
Again, as I've been pointing out all along, you focus on pretty much the same period of the band in order to trash the entire band's career. I never once defended that period of their career. That you picked out one post-1978 song with lyrics you find questionable says way more than I possibly can. Notice that I, at least, am able to say that Peart is not the best, just that he's nowhere near the worst. You, however, are focused on showing just how awful he is, but, again, you can't get out of one period of the band in order to do so. Your argument is nullified by that.
Here's the cool thing: I don't have to be objective about Peart, or Rush. I'm not the one using this podium to state an absolute like you are. I don't think Peart is the best lyricist ever, or even close to it - just that he's pretty damned decent, and, usually, his words suit the songs very well, make sense, and are grammatically and structurally sound. Yes, this is my favorite band, and if you look around at comments I've left and posts I've made, I make absolutely no attempt to cover that up. Why would I? And, for the record, I don't idolize anyone. I do, however, respect Peart - he's been through a lot recently and managed to come back swinging.
What I find most entertaining is that, when I lay out some criticism that you apparently cannot refute, you resort to a childish, cliched insult that speaks volumes about you, not me.
QUOTE: "when I lay out some criticism that you apparently cannot refute, you resort to a childish, cliched insult that speaks volumes about you, not me"
It's called "SATIRE" you and Neil Peart really should look into it.
QUOTE:"Again, as I've been pointing out all along, you focus on pretty much the same period of the band"
Do you read? Or you just shoot your mouth off?
I mentioned song lyrics from Fly By Night, 2112, Hemispheres, Moving Pictures, Signals, and Vapor Trails. Please explain how these albums which span 30 years are from "pretty much the same time period"?
I like that you cut off the important part of what I said - "Again, as I've been pointing out all along, you focus on pretty much the same period of the band in order to trash the entire band's career." You consistently and repeatedly use lyrics from 1974-1978 to show how bad a lyricist Peart is. The only faint praise you've given has been for two songs produced after that period. When you want to make your point about Peart's deficiencies as a lyricist, you go right back to 1974-1978.
this is ridiculous.
you can't be 'objective' about something that's purely subjective: interpretation and reaction to lyrics.
And Vapor Trails was released when?
And who can forget "Presto"
"I am made from the dust of the stars
and the oceans flow in my veins"
Get a grip. Or maybe you just need some of that Neil Peart fairy dust?
Boys, boys ... play nice. Or else I will start an argument about Journey.
You're really grasping for anything now, arent't you, Robert. Do you really expect me to take you seriously after picking on those lyrics? Those are actually good - "I am made from the dust of the stars" = you know, the old saying that we are made up of the same things stars are? "Oceans flow in my veins" = water, salt, LIFE etc.? You don't get it, do you? It's saying that we are all, at our most basic elements, the same not only as each other, but as everything else in the universe. I get it now - you don't like lyrics that you need to think about, or interpret. Have you ever happened to have read this thing called "poetry"? Not that I'm saying that Peart's lyrics are poetry (VERY few lyricists work would stand up to the tests that poetry must withstand.) But those are "poetic" lyrics. They're just not the stories you like to have told to you.
It's amazing that it took this long to get back to exactly what I said: you simply don't like Peart's style of writing. Not that he's bad, but that you just don't care for it. Fair enough. The problem is that you seem to equate not liking something with it being "horrible." You know, you can not like something and acknowledge that there's nothing technically wrong with it. For example: I'm not a Bruce Springsteen fan by any stretch of the imagination, but you won't catch me saying the guy's a horrible songwriter, even if pretty much everything he does doesn't appeal to me one bit.
I can't believe I've wasted time on this. Once someone dives into his bag of cheap, childish insults for comebacks, there's no point in pushing on. I'm going to be the grown-up here and step away from this. There's no good that can come from arguing this further.
One thing I get out of just about every musical discussion on BlogCritics: the people who love Rush, WORSHIP them; the people who hate them would rather eat ground glass than have to listen to them again.
Of course if you really want horrid covers look into the world of extreme metal. They seem to glory in the shittiest covers possible...including their lame logos.
BTW: I used to loath Rush (well Geddy's voice) until I realised what they were singing about and how talented musicians they are.
When Covers Attack, Part II:
Bad cover, great record.
Wank cover, and the record isn't bad either.
Wank cover, barely recall playing the record.
When Covers Attack, Part III:
Great cover, great record.
Over 20 years later, still the coolest record cover I know.
Geez Tom Johnson,
Are you still at it? It seems to me that you've been missing the big picture from the very beginning of this thread. First you accuse me of attacking the band when I complimented their music in THE FIRST SENTENCES of the post. If you knew anything about Robert's site called "Rhapsody Radish" you would know that it features new great playlists and reviews every single day. Yet, you are fixated on defending Rush. Somebody get this guy some kleenex or something...
I know the true story on the muscles! For starters that pic was taken in 1984. It was a different day and age...
The old record company, in an effort to cash in on the band after they'd been picked up by Geffen records in the late 90's released that "Anthology" with that ridiculous cover, which the band posed for in 1984 and never used at all. I'm pretty sure they had nothing to do with it.
The muscles are real. The guys work out. and even now in 2005 they're still built just fine.
But they dont oil themselves and pose in fur bikinis anymore. Haven't since 1984. I swear it.
For whomever it was that ripped on the Rush song Xanadu, I thought maybe you should know that is straight out of a poem of the same name from the late 1700s. Check it out. I think its cool someone wrong a poem about another planet that early.
What is this, beat up on the Stones day? Many other bad covers to choose from, some of which are not Stones related. A fun read though. Thanks.
heh Manowar are from my hometown, I've known them for a looong time. They are nowhere near that buff. they're kind of scrawny truth be told.
matt, xanadu isn't a planet. it's the western spelling of an ancient city in mongolia. and the poem wasn't named "xanadu," it was "kubla khan." the "otherwordly" qualities to the poem that you may be picking up are the effects of coleridge's serious, serious drug problem.
Xanadu... wasn't that ET's home? Or maybe Mork...
"In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure dome decree..."
If I remember it correctly, Coleridge was having a "vision," likely drug induced.... but he was interrupted by a door to door salesman, and lost his train of thought. This poem is all that exists of his dream.
I am a girlie girl, and I LOVE RUSH!!!












There just had to be a Manowar cover...but how could you chose one out of so many dire covers?