American Idol: Underwood Carries The Day
Published May 26, 2005
Same with the "That's What Friends Are For" trekkie dudes, Adam and Dirk, who burst into tears of joy at the sight of David Hasselhoff (ironically---not---a man and an artist about whom I've had occasion to write this season).
I would imagine it's very hard to resist plane fare and a couple of tix to the Kodak, regardless of the degree of personal humiliation involved. I mean, especially if you are two "That's What Friends Are For" trekkie dudes who are obsessed with David Hasselhoff.
Obviously, Mr. Hasselhoff, who most recently had a starring cameo in The Spongebob Movie, could not resist the pub, so how could two average dudes from Wherever say no to the Fox Publicity Machine? As if!
Next came a segment which can only be called "Bad Judgment." Wait a minute: it was called "Bad Judgment." It was a parody of Fallen Idol, I mean right down to the details---the "Dawg-tic" song, the camera shots, the sobbing parental interview, the drive past "the house," and so on.
It was a parody and it was clever and it was funny. No doubt about that. But, to tell you the truth, I didn't love it sitting there right in the middle of the finale, right in the middle of a night that was supposed to be about Bo and Carrie and our supposedly magical, dreamy trip down the aisle together.
My take: the whole "Bad Judgment: The Expose" thing just came off as too much about revenge and pay-back and, let's face it, what's fun about that?
It also had this sort of Darth-Vader-breathing-"this is what you get if you dare rage against the machine" 'tude about it. [evil laughter here]
I'm not saying Mr. Clark is telling the truth about his relationship with Ms. Abdul, but this certainly was pulling out all the stops to use millions of dollars of precious broadcast time to crush one little guy bonehead from Nowheresville.
And did we have to have this discussion at the dinner table, people?
It just smacked of the producers and everyone else losing their cool and using their show---our show---for pettiness instead of keeping their eye on the prize, which is building up their product and their brand of dream-making. Which is what we came to see.
But, not soon enough, we got back to the good stuff---music---and Carrie and Rascal Flatts soothed the sour atmosphere with a deep and ringing rendition of "God Bless the Broken Road." Gone was the plodding version of Carrie's previous outing with this song. Tonight it soared. As Carrie learns to bring that more and more, wow, she's going to be good.
The rest of the "AI Finalists Sing With Industry Bigs" were about as good as the respective AI finalists. Anthony did a fine job on "I Believe I Can Fly," while his compadre, Anwar, with a semi-new 'doo, was still quacking away on it.
- American Idol: Underwood Carries The Day
- Published: May 26, 2005
- Type: Review
- Section: Video
- Filed Under: Video: Reality TV
- Writer: Sticker
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BTW: Bo dodged a bullet; being crowned "American Idol" would have sent his soul to Satan faster than a hot yo dog disappears from Randy's lunch bucket.
I will miss Paula's 'unique' form of hand-clapping, but thankfully, there are some retarded seals at my local zoo.
Oh, and Sticker, extra points for yer headline!
Shark, Miss Mikalah attended High School
("Cimarron-Memorial")just down the block
from my house (I live out in Las Vegas)
and I have seen her several times at the
neighborhood supermarket.I know,like big
whoopie-do but I just think it's funny
because people treat her as some kind of
a f**king star.Pathetic but funny.
As always, excellent recap Sticker. I still have no idea why the finale was 2 hours? I pray to God I never see or hear from Ms Gordon ever again! The red carpet report was painful to watch. I had a feeling Carrie would win when Simon predicted it last night. This is the first year I have watched the show, I blame my girlfriend, but it did provide some good entertainment. I am fine with Carrie winning, she will sell records, but I would have liked to seen a Bo-Constantine finale. Kudos again to Sticker for doing a great job this year. By the way, does anyone agree with Simon when he asked LaToya if she was drunk? She sounded like she downed a few refreshments with a little alcohol in them??
Interesting head for a phillyburbs.com story on tonight's event: Carrie Wins, We Lose. Of course, Bo will be making great music for years to come, so I don't really agree with that statement. But the story itself is fascinating. Here is an excerpt:
Carrie is perhaps the quintessential example of the type of middle-of-the-road mediocrity that Idol rewards.
Had Bo Bice won, Idol would have gained credibility in the eyes of many non-Idol fans. Choosing a performer who was edgy, daring and stood out from the crowd both musically and stylistically would have signaled change for a franchise that has churned out three seasons’ worth of unremarkable talent.
But, America has voted and we’re stuck with the idiot they elected.
Harsh, considering that Carrie seems like a really nice person and she is a pleasant enough singer, but AI is all about musical mediocrity. That's just the truth. Or it was until Bo Bice showed up. In the end, though, the show (and the American mainstream) went for what is safe. And that is Carrie. Bo is dangerous -- he is hella talented, takes musical risks, and, well, he IS sex appeal personified. Too hot for America or a certain segment thereof? I think so. As FABULOUS as it would have been to have a performer with credibility, passion, edginess, and raw appeal as the American Idol, we've gotta be realistic. Just as Americans (about half of 'em) went for the presidential candidate they thought was safe, they (about half of 'em) went for a safe Idol. Good for them; I'll stay away and just listen to my Purge and Sugar Money MP3s, which provide more entertainment than four years' worth of Kellys and Carries combined.
In the long run, this outcome is for the best. America gets Carrie's safe pop-country stuff for as long as it remains trendy (hey, Kelly has been doing well for three years now). Perhaps she'll gain a personality on the way. Meanwhile, Bo gets to remain Bo, undiluted, unbroken, undimmed, untampered with, unbowed. And he doesn't have to be chained to those 19 Entertainment dinks for a year. Quoting my American Idol (who is, to me, the only one who counts), it's all good!
I can't speak to the entire show, which it appears I was lucky to miss (for an unlucky reason; an old friend died Sunday and I was at a memorial service this evening). But I got home in time to see the end: Did anyone notice the tepid applause after Seacrest's announcement of Cowell's dream come true? Thankfully, Bo is a gentleman and encouraged the crowd to clap louder. He is a great musician and his "loss" is AI's loss -- but it appears Bo Bice is an even better human being and friend than artist. That is saying much.
Get to know the real Bo. He rocks. If you can't abide mainstream pop pap, join the Bice squad and celebrate the music of the Idol for the rest of us.
I'm not surprised that Carrie won.
Pretty obvious now that when we have a final where it's a woman vs. man, the man will lose. Bo wasn't great last night, but he was head over heels better than Carrie throughout the season.
Hopefully Bo's CD doesn't have any of those AI "original" songs. They are horrible!
Unless one of the two is a negro. Then the negro automatically wins, right? Mr. Newton, you have to get past looking for stereotypes -- this wasn't man vs. woman, this was about mainstream pop vs roots-rock and blues. Safe won the day.
"Then the negro automatically wins, right?"
Now you get it! Just don't forget about how it's okay to be black and fat (like Ruben and Frenchie), but not okay to be white and fat, especially white, fat, and female (Jennifer Todd)
:-)
This is not a talent contest... it is a popularity contest... always has been... I can only guess (and of course I think I'm right) always will be. Carrie is a beautiful young woman. Her stunning blue eyes, and alabaster skin are enough to dazzle even the most cynical eye... and obviously did. But let's get real... she could not carrie (pun intended) Bo's j-strap when it comes to singing. She regularly went sour on notes... in fact I would say at some point in every song I've heard her sing she has landed flat to some degree. She's just not that accurate with her tonal quality. On the other hand, I can't remember ever thinking that about Bo. I'm not saying that Carrie can't sing. Quite the contrary... I think she sings very well... she's just not in Bo's league. So, the most popular won... I expected nothing different... but can we stop getting all wrapped up in the quality of the singing on AI please? Otherwise somebody is going to start talking about how good a singer Scott Savol is, and then I'll have to seriously consider stabbing a pencil into my eye socket.
super super job Sticker, all your hard work is very much appreciated - thanks so much!
chet--
Thanks again for your kind words.
Like you, I'm fine with Carrie winning. I think all the things I have spotted her for over the season are totally correctable with coaching and experience.
She will make good records and have a good, maybe great career.
But it would have been great to see Bo get the title.
natalie davis-
I saw that phillyburbs.com head, too. I haven't been reading them, but from the little I have seen, they have been consistently harsh.
That said, there is something to your MOR theory. But I think it's even simpler than that: there's a huge segment of the music/entertainment fan world that robotically follows beautiful blonde chicks.
There are never too many for some people.
So add in people voting the hottie vote in a very close race otherwise, and here we are.
I do like the statement it would have made if Bo had won, but in the end he might just be better off.
nebulah7--
I think you're exactly accurate about Carrie's tonal quality. Also I found her singing diction atrocious (and, therefore, regularly ragged on her for her mondegreens and sounding like Dori speaking "whale", etc.).
Fortunately, these probs are all correctable. She'll soon be coached on how to improve her diction. She'll get more experience performing. She won't be so nervous and may actually blossom.
So I'm cool with her winning.
But Bo---now there's a man who has potential to rock the world!
Great job on the AI final....LOVE your sense of humor. Carrie is good and she'll be a big country star. Problem is, I don't listen to country music and don't listen to regular radio, so will probably never hear her sing again.
I agree that it would have taken AI up several notches to have Bo win. It would have given the whole AI enterprise credibility that it needs to be taken seriously.
Was anyone else surprised by the cars given to both of them and the personal jet card given to the winner? The advertising/corporate sponsor dollars are pouring into the AI enterprise.
Will the money people dictate who wins in the future? Did they decide the fresh-faced, naive, young Carrie would win this season? Am I just paranoid and overly sensitive to the influence money has on just about everything in the US?
My guess is that you are completely correct. Sick f-in' country, eh?
America has its Barbie doll; my Idol is Bo.
AI is the eptiome of American Democracy -- the way it works in a perfect world: phone in yer votes, one call -- one vote!
America has spoken, and as with our larger elections, we usually go for the person with the most plastic per pound.
PS: Does Ohio usually vote country-pop?
PPS: re. Carrie's need of "training" etc, jeesus, people, yall ever been to Checotah Oklahoma? The girl has spent her short life milking cows and singing to barnyard animals. Give her a break!
Oh, yeah, and somebody wake me up if she ever does a spread in Playboy.
Thanks,
Shark
(reads articles only)
i wanna have an all-day 3-way with bo and carrie. i just don't wanna hear carrie sing ever again.
oh, and how hilarious that some peeps in here use the word "negro". how fuct-up is that shit?
judy-
Thanks for stopping by and glad you enjoyed the humor. But, as much as I love it, AI is a target-rich environment, so some of the credit has to go to the subject matter.
As winner, I think the Bigs will guide Carrie into a pop-country sound. If she succeeds at that, she'll be huge.
Can anyone out there tell me the name of hte song that Vonzell and Billy Preston did last night? Please?
j caulk--
I included the song title in my article: it's "With You I'm Born Again."
Song sung by Billy Preston and Vonzell: With You I'm Born Again, originally done by Syreeta and Peabo Bryson
It was somewhat predictable that Carrie would win American Idol this year. In a season filled with even more controversy and scandal than ever, they needed to "fill the slot" with someone who is pure and untarnished. Last night was the first time I believed that Carrie might truly find the success which has alluded many of the previous American Idols. She sang a beautiful rendition of "Unbroken Road" with Rascal Flatts. Country music has been emerging in the past several years as a genre that is "breaking open" to the public-at-large. As good a rocker as Bo is, he is a blast from the past. I think that he will find success among the many viewers who have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of a true rock "king". There were TWO things that I have not heard mention of about last night's show. ONE....where was Fantasia? As I recall, the grand finale has always included the winner from the previous year. Sort of a handing over of "the crown". I saw Jennifer Hudson, John Stevens and a handful of other has-beens. Fantasia was no where to be seen. Also, considering the fact that this year's contest was supposed to be the closest ever, where were the "numbers". Just how close was it in the end??? Did the Vonzell vote ultimately go to Carrie and the diffential in votes too embarrassing to help further Bo's career? Only time will tell if American Idol really is ready for a long-haired, rocker throwback. And, only time will tell if the American Idol machine can carry Underwood into the realms of Martina McBride, Reba McIntyre, Gretchen Wilson, Julie Roberts, Faith Hill, and so on. It will be interesting to see how Carmen Rasmusen emerges from this new country competitor who will be backed much more heavily than Carmen will with her new CD dropping this summer. There still might be a chance for Bo. Don't forget how well Clay Aiken has done compared to Ruben Studdard. Aiken still remains the most overall success of American Idol. But then again, he bolted from Simon Fuller's control as quickly as he possibly could. He has a legion of primarily female fans and now boasts a resume that some in Hollywood would kill for. Last night, as Carrie Underwood was crowned the new American Idol, Clay Aiken was over in Africa, touring UNICEF supported projects in northern Uganda. In my opinion, this almost makes last night's show seem like a bit of insignificant "idle" entertainment.
I THINK THAT CARRIE WON FAIR AND SQUARE. BO AND CARRIE ARE BOTH EXCELLENT SINGERS AND EVEN THOUGH CARRIE WON, WE WILL DEFINATELY BE SEEING BO VERY SOON. HE WILL ALSO HAVE A RECORDING CONTRACT SOMEONE WILL FIND HIM. MIKAYLA WAS NOT VERY GOOD LAST NIGHT I AM SO GLAD THAT SHE LOST.
Yes, Mr. Jarboy. I specifically used a fucked-up word to address someone who constantly voices a fucked-up crackpot theory.
eloise--
you said: they needed to "fill the slot" - Fox/19 are powerful, but not that powerful! There is truly only so much they can do to influence the outcome, unless you believe in tin-foil hats.
Your other points are very well taken: where *was* Fantasia?
CBB,
no need to yell, dude, :-) - I agree with you!
Carrie won fair and square and both she and Bo will have great careers, or at least the opportunity to have great careers.
It'll be up to them to make the most of this moment.
My local channel affiliate for FOX gave away the winner last night. Their headline "stay tuned after American Idol for our segment in Carrie's home town." Why would they be there if she hadn't won? Why would they ruin the season finale like this? Did other FOX affiliates do the same thing? My guess is yes.
America went with the down home sweet wholesomeness instead of the riskier non-mainstream talent. What a shame ( or should I say sham? thinking of the last two presidential elections. The real talent loses again. Or--- did he actually win by not having the corporate anchor strapped around his neck? Only time will tell.
It was obvious that raising the age limit allowed someone with past stage experience get into our living rooms besides untested or inexperienced talent (aka Bo Bice and Constantine Maroulis).
Carrie will be this biggest hit for American idol yet. Bo, on the other hand, was given an opportunity to show that there are thousands of talented people out there who don't get "discovered" because they aren't at the right place at the right time. Bo writes songs and plays several instruments. If I were a betting man I'd say that Bo wil end up being extremely popular. And if he doesn't release a CD with his rendition of "Vehicle" it will be a crying shame.
Corporate america gat their girl but amaerica got a new rock star also. Kudos to both for getting what both needed----or should I say---wanted?
Your local affiliate better watch its back.
I imagine the AI machine would not take kindly to an in-house screw-up that ruined the suspense they painstakingly built up.
Sorry, but I need to correct your first sentence: CLAY AIKEN was also never in the bottom 3.
Laura--
lol - and I know it's hard to believe, but Clay Aiken was never The American Idol!
Of the American Idols, Kelly was never B3'd, Fantasia was B3'd twice and Ruben was B3'd once.
Clay was never in the B3, but I guess you could say he was in the B2 on finale night.
Anyway, I was talking about the *official* winners! lol
Bo ,you can't even make a sandwich better than Carrie.Boy you got no game.Hah Hah.
Well Bo will have to look for another career besides sandwich builder, I guess.
Diane Brady--
Don't like him, don't buy his cd.
why not leave it at that?
38: Completely insipid statement better suited to one of those stupid AI message forums.
Where was Fantasia? Dunno, but she was on record as a Bo supporter. Maybe she could smell that the fix was in or that the planets were aligned in a pro-blonde pattern or that Vote for the Worst would win the day. Or perhaps she had better things to do with her time. I'm sure glad I didn't sit through that two hours.
Studio 19 was pulling for Bo - - witness all the "lead shots" of him in the credits, Ford commercials, etc. - - because they thought a "rocker" would earn them more money.
Plus, they'd had (1) the white girl, (2) the black guy, (3) the black girl - and now wanted something different to market.
Looks and tenny-boppers aside, as far as "pure singing talent" goes...the right person won.
I'm not sure what "pure singing talent" means, but I think Bo's voice is much more distinctive than Carrie's. And I like Carrie
I suppose, in this case, "pure singing talent" means only hitting half of the correct notes. That's what happened during Carrie's supposed Tuesday showstopper. Thatlast soaring note was painful to hear. Painful! That isn't to say she is untalented -- of course she has talent. And she seems to be a sweet young woman. But I don't see any comparison between the two: Bo is the genuine article, the whole package, the risk taker, and the better singer, IMO. Mileage varies, so Carrie won the title. And Bo, in the long run, is in a better spot than her.
Bo certainly had the more distinctive voice and I think once he gets into the studio, what comes out is going to be VERY distinctive.
A good time was had by all!
re comment 31: sorry nat, u r right, that is so fuct up.
re comment 38: i'd like to make a sandwich with bo and carrie.
Well, its all over. What will we do with our Tuesday and Wednesday nights this summer?? :( I am sad that this fun ride is over . I feel like I'm leaving the amusement park at the end of the day. I really had fun I came but I could have rode a couple more of the rides again!!! :)
I can't even begin to touch on all of the stuff that went on last night. Sticker, you got it right, just like always.
There was a clip last night that really rang true to me. It was one with Simon telling Carrie that every teenage girl in America wanted to be her at that moment. That clip immediately made me think-- Carrie's going to win. When you have a market that strong, backing you, you will always be the most popular and out sell everyone else in album sales. Look at the boy groups and brittany spears!!
My favorite moments of the night were when Simon said he thought LaToya was drunk (and I agreed!) and when David Hasselhoff showed up and thrilled the "trekkies". That was awesome! :)
What I wished they had done was identify the former idols contestants that were in the audience and/or all the celebrities that were there too. I kept seeing little snippets of them in the audience and getting frustrated because I wanted to see how different they looked or know what they were up to now. And by the way, I'm all for Matt Rogers having a regular gig on the show. Maybe he could do some "behind the scenes" interviews with the contestants. That would be more entertaining than alot of the other crap I saw last night!!!!!
Thanks for making this AI "ride" even more fun, Sticker! :)
Peace Out!
Ahh, an expression, Natalie!
I admit to disappointment, too. But what I meant was: it's all going to work out, for us and for Bo and Carrie.
Mr. Jarboy, I appreciate the apology, but are you in the habit of addressing complete strangers so informally? That is just RUDE.
sorry, ms davis. are you going to punish me? i certainly deserve it. i've been a bad bad boy.
Then, Mr. Jarboy, the answer is no. I just wanted to make you aware that you offended another human being. I suspect that isn't new terrain for you.
mir--
Thanks very much for sharing my ride.
Whatyousaid.
If Carrie indeed has grabbed the tweenie vote (much as Kelly did before her, initially) and a substantial portion of the grown-up vote, yup, she's going to be BIG.
But that doesn't leave Bo out in the cold. There's room enough in the music universe for many and varied stars.
I, too, wished they'd spent some of the time they wasted at least acknowledging the former finalists in the audience. I saw John Stevens, JPL, Jasmine, George Huff and more.
What's up with that? These people MADE MILLIONS for them and they can't take the time away from vamping to at least announce that they are in the house?
So I thought it was tacky on top of everything else.
u so mean, nat.
Mr. Sticker: That statement can be disputed, however, I am sure things will work out just fine for Bo and for Carrie. And I'm done with AI (not because of this, because I am not impressed by the show and 19 Entertainment overall), so on that score, there should be some improvement for me.
I agree with Sticker that American Idol wasted a significant amount of air time on negative throwbacks from the past season. I personally found the rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner" by a "Rubenesque-like" looking female who couldn't even carry a tune to be insulting. American Idol showed very poor taste in showcasing such a horrid performance while we have troops who remain in harms way overseas. Don't get me wrong, "The Star Spangled Banner" would never have been my choice for a national anthem, and even some decent singers have butchered it...but it is our national anthem...like it or not. They should have showcased past contestants from some of the previous season's "top 6" shows and given viewers an opportunity to see what they are doing now. In my opinion, it would have been more a lot more entertaining. They also missed a GOLDEN opportunity in NOT mentioning that a former American Idol contestant, is now over in Uganda representing UNICEF and the USA. I know that the AI4 finale should be about the contestants from this season, most particularly Bo and Carrie, but that could have been done successfully in a one-hour show. If they had to stretch it to two hours they should have found a better way to hightlight the best of American Idol...not the worst!
American Idol is best viewed using TiVo. Just fast forward through all the crap to the good stuff. Randy. FF. Paula. FF. Simon, watch. Commercials. FF. Cheesy ensemble medleys. FF. Anything in which Ryan Seacrest speaks. FF. You get he idea.
Yes, George, it would be nice to have the luxury of tivo'ing American Idol!! For now, I remain in the dinosaur age with my old video recorder. It actually does have a fast forward button on it. The button has been used many times throughout season 4 of American Idol!
I also would have really liked it (and liked it a LOT better) if they had showcased some of the former finalists.
Many of them were in the house and should have been acknowledged---their hard work lined the pockets of these people big time.
Also many of them are up to interesting things that, even from a business point of view, shows that AI chose some talented people---singing in shows, releasing cds, other gigs, etc.
It would have been a lot more interesting than what they did.
>> Choosing a performer who was edgy, daring and stood out from the crowd both musically and stylistically would have signaled change for a franchise that has churned out three seasons' worth of unremarkable talent.
I am kind of confused as to how Bo qualifies as "edgy" and "daring."
He's about as edgy as Scott Sapp.
It definitely would have made the middle "hour" much more entertaining.
Ooh, there is an insult...
In the context of AI, Bo was edgy and daring just by existing. Add to that his refusal to change his look to suit the suits, the a cappella performance, the way he made disco night work for him... You would have to know the show to understand.
This thread has actually gone on longer than the AI season.
Kudos, kids!
PS: It's just a game.
A fake game.
A fake game to pick a fake star.
A fake game to pick a fake star to make a fake cd and a fake career that will be over faster than you can say "Andy Warhol"
ie. Get over it.
I think Bo and Carrie will both have successful careers. On e news Simon Fuller said Carrie won with over 10 million votes. I have a feeling she's going to sell pretty well. I think that the pitch problems she has is def lack of training and can be easily fixed. Bo is older and more experienced, he will also do well. I think AI is a great show due to the fact that that it gives those that don't necessarily have connections the chance at their dream. Yes call me sappy but hey I like to see kids get a shot at that kind of thing. How good can we expect non professionals to be. It think these kids did a great job, and will no doubt have amazing careers ahead of both of them. Although I have to say personally for me the right person did win. Carrie is symbolic of the average "girl with a dream and a big voice." That's just my opinion though.
I think the appeal of AI is exactly that it is not fake. Artificial in some respects, but not fake.
Kelly Clarkson and Clay Aiken, for example, have stacked up real millions. They sell real discs, play for real people (lots) and get their faces in real tabloids.
It's not any more fake than other celebrity.
In fact, it's less fake than, say, the Paris Hilton genre of rich and famous. At least the AI alumni are working for a living.
AI girl -
Was the 10M votes Carrie's total or her margin of victory?
Can't see it being the latter, but gotta ask.
AI has the option to present these contestants in any way they choose. Take Carrie's fresh off the farm, starry eyed innocent, small town, aw-shucks, persona is part of the script. She is actually very seasoned and very savvy having spent time in a REAL recording studio with some very big names in the business (Chuck Howard and John Guess to name a couple). She IS naive and a little bit of an airhead (not a slam, afterall, it works very well for Jessica Simpson) but when it comes to her not having the 'experience' of Bo - well she recorded her first studio recording at 13. She's not as inexperienced as people would like to think.
Carrie has opened for Diamond Rio, The Wilkinson's, Exile, Gene Watson, Billy Hoffman and Earl Thomas Conley - so she HAS had some experience opening for some bigger acts.
I like Carrie, I loved Bo, but as you said Sticker, Bo will be fine. He may just benefit from the Clay Aiken effect.
Does anyone know why the voting results were never told??? Ryan announced the percentages at all of the previous finals. That really bothers me for whatever reason. I just wonder why they wouldn't release the numbers....
my understanding -- and this is all speculation -- is that the preponderance of Vonzell's votes went to Carrie, meaning that the vote was hugely in the Okie girl's favor. Perhaps AI was doing a mitzvah for Bo so that he wouldn't look bad in the eyes of stupid people.
Carrie definitly deserves the title she is the best idol out of all of the other seasons.bo is a loser who Cant sing..i think its stupid that they didnt show how close the votes were!!carries voice is hte best
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I missed a lot of the show;
Somehow... I drifted off fantasizing about Mikalah Gordon being torn apart by wild dogs.
I dunno what got into me... but...
She needs her own show!