Intelligent Design Proponents Attempt Experimental Science
Published May 11, 2005
Like the familiar American Idol format, a panel of judges will evaluate contestants. In this case, the judges will be three male chimpanzees. Contestants will be expected to "strip, bend over, and present themselves in typical chimpanzee mating fashion" says Harris. Quality of contestants will be judged by the chimps reaction. The top three females will be receive a t-shirt, a small cash prize and the privilege of participating in the study. According to IDN insiders, negotiations are still underway to ink a contract with a "Christian Simon Cowell-like personality to provide saucy commentary and brutally honest critique" on the women's performances.
Project leaders laughed off the question of their plan being sinful bestiality.
"No, no. This is Godly work," said Dr. Ezekial Brown. "The participants will be doing this for Jesus, so it isn't a sin. The Lord asks us to undertake mighty tasks to fulfill His will. Plus, we've cleared it with evangelical leaders like Tony Perkins, Jerry Falwell and Fred Phelps. This is legit. Plus, we're excluding Jezebels from the start. We want only good, single Christian women for this."
Brown is heading of the interview process, tentatively titled Do It For Jesus. One prototype t-shirt showed a silhouette outline of a woman and chimpanzee embracing with a smiling Jesus watching over them. Brown and Harris said t-shirt plans had not yet been finalized, though marketing research found a strong response to this design among female Young Earth Creationists in the target 18 - 25 age range.
Neither PETA nor the American Association for the Advancement of Science had an official comment.
Speaking off the record, pro-evolution critics of Intelligent Design suggested that Harris and colleagues do not really understand basic evolutionary concepts and called the experiment "interestingly misguided."
[This article originally appeared at Tinfoil Hat Pundit]
- Intelligent Design Proponents Attempt Experimental Science
- Published: May 11, 2005
- Type: Satire
- Section: Sci/Tech
- Filed Under: Culture: Religion, Culture: Humor and Satire, Culture: Education, Sci/Tech: Science
- Writer: a-[e]
- a-[e]'s BC Writer page
- a-[e]'s personal site
- Spread the Word
- Like this article?
- Email this
Save to del.icio.us
Comments on this articleComments
Please tell me this post is some kind of prank or joke, it is one of the most stupid ideas I have ever heard of and find it totally unbelievable that there are actually enough lunatics in positions of power or influence to make this happen.
Only in the USA, officially the world's weirdest country...
It's under the humor/satire sub-category, Alien...
The link to the "Rev. Phelps" site is truly disturbing in that people like that actually exist!
I've heard these folk on the Howard Stern Show... God almighty, indeed...
His followers came and protested in my town recently. They're completely insane.
Seeing the little kids protested, being taught what to chant by the parents... really really frightening.
Here's a great line from the IDN web page:
We believe objectivity will lead not only to good origins science, but also to constitutional neutrality in this subjective, historical science that unavoidably impacts religion. We promote the scientific evidence of intelligent design because proper consideration of that evidence is necessary to achieve not only scientific objectivity but also constitutional neutrality.
Objectivity that promotes a particular point of view?
Here's another:
ID proponents believe science should be conducted objectively, without regard to the implications of its findings.
Of course, in this case, to be "objective," you have to start from the position that God created the earth and its inhabitents. Naturally, with this kind of objectivity, the implications of the findings are welcome: the "science" proves the religious belief.
"If a monkey can't successfully impregnate a human woman, then we're not related to them."
They may be on to something here. After all, these people are the experts at impregnating relatives.
You all think that right wingers would have a hard time rationalizing this stuff?
Here's one of my communities biggest foes reminiscing on public radio about his dalliances with mules. According to him, everybody in Georgia does it!
And no, that link is not satire.
Funny post though, I enjoyed it.
All you have to do is google the talk.origins site, and search "Manpanzee". And have a good laugh. I brought the hypothetical to usenet about 10 years ago, before I was banned from the group under the content moderation clause. known as the Jabfilter.
So I see this blog come up on google news when I type in intelligent design, read the article summary and state loud enough for all of my coworkers to hear 'You got to be shiting me.' people ask whats wrong, i tell them what i'm reading, go to the link and then see it listed under 'satire'. Now I look like a dumbass, thanks a lot! :)
And yes, the Fred Phelps site is truly disturbing. Makes one ashamed to admit they live in the midwest.
Sorry about that, Wes. ;-)
We're working on having Google News better distinguish between our satire and our serious content.
Weren't Paul Wolfowitz and John Bolton the result of an earlier version of this experiment? I can't see any other explanation for their odd hair and desire to display aggression through metaphorical chest beating...
Stonehenge - designed. Pyramids - Designed. DNA - random. Intelligent Design or Intelligent Deception. You decide:
link
The problem with satire is it is too similar
to what religious people actually do.
You can't make stuff up to make them look bad
because they will then do something stupider
than what you made up.
I really don't think mating between woman and beast is at all needed.
Don't make a monkey out of yourself.
Add your comment, speak your mind
(Or ping: http://blogcritics.org/mt/tb/29381)
yes, but did they clear it with my good friend rod parsley?