I had a bank satchel for the money I'd collect, which lived in an old cabinet drawer. In that same cabinet would be a small pen with a little straw in it for a bed for a guinea pig or chicken. This was to be the sacrificial victim. Right in front of the cabinet was where the camera stood and about 10 feet in front of that was the chair where the kids would sit and torture the animals while waiting for me to snap a picture.

So I'd yell, "Next!" and the family would step up, all smiles and happiness after standing on a line a block long. The kid, all of 3 years old, would be whining and jumping and cracking with energy after standing on this boring line for a half hour and then, when his parents showed him the guinea pig, he'd scream bloody murder and run out of the shack. Mommy would go chase him down and drag him back screaming and crying while tying to soothe him, "Oh c'mon, Tyler...Who's a big boy? You're going to take a picture with a chicken and make Mommy sooo happy!"

Tyler wasn't having any of that bullshit.

"AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

NOTE: Little kids seem to have this super power that allows them to go entirely limp when they refuse to go where you want them. This ability apparently also creates a pocket of "super gravity" around the child that can fuse his feet to the ground, increasing his weight up to several thousand pounds. I've actually seen parents dragging a child down the street with chunks of the sidewalk still stuck to the bottoms of his feet.

So they drag Tyler back in to the chicken shack, show him the rodent, and "convince" him to sit in the chair. Mommy is attempting to maintain a big, wide smile, all the while pinning Little Tyler with an elbow to the throat and screaming for me get the guinea pig. I run over, grab the guinea pig and a towel and throw them both on the kid. Daddy is standing like a slack jawed idiot, just trying to get out of the way. I run back to the camera, hold up my hands and clap, trying to get the kids attention. Little Tyler then looks at me, screams and throws the guinea pig to the ground. The guinea is screaming in pain and fear, I'm screaming at the dad, Tyler is screaming in fear, and Mom is screaming at Tyler. It's a grand day at the zoo.