Inside "Inside Politics" - CNN Filibustered By Judy Woodruff
Published May 09, 2005
When you need another fake news source, PoopyCaca.com is there.
Dancing Queen Judy Woodruff leaving CNN in June
Written by Joe Wilson
WASHINGTON DC (PoopyCaca.com) – Judy Woodruff has announced that she will be leaving CNN, and the show that bears her name, "Inside Politics with Judy Woodruff," in June to pursue "her tap dancing dreams."
The news was yet another blow to CNN in its battle to recapture the ratings crown from the "fair and balanced" cable news gorilla, Fox News.
As part of the ratings war with Fox, CNN plans to launch a cable news channel "Inside the Internet" and cancelled the still on the air debate-train-wreck Crossfire, which prompted DaimlerChrysler to rename its car of the same name.
CNN had a scare in April when Wolf Blitzer took time off for a beard transplant and was surprised in March when Lou Dobbs quit the network to guard the U.S. border.
The announcement that Woodruff had decided to leave was also a surprise to CNN, which was in the midst of contract negotiations with the newscaster at the time.
According to an unnamed source at CNN, "We were all sitting in the conference room with Judy and her agent, Irene Feldman, and Judy just refused to talk. The only way she would communicate was by dancing, tap dancing," the source said. "It was like she was filibustering us with tap. She wouldn’t even consider an offer, she just kept dancing around the room."
Judy Woodruff declined repeated requests for an interview, but Irene Feldman, Woodruff’s agent, translated her tap routine to English. "She has decided to leave the network to pursue her tap dancing dreams and open the ‘Judy Woodruff Tap Studio’ in Augusta, Georgia. She never stopped dancing and is known within the beltway for her performances at the White House Correspondents dinner and her infamous Rose Garden routine, which she performed for President Reagan as he recuperated from an assassination attempt."
Woodruff was crowned Young Miss Augusta in 1963 and her return to Augusta was welcomed by the beauty pageant community there. "I’m just tickled pink," said Tammy Walton, "My daughter really needs to work on the talent part of the Young Miss Augusta pageant and Ms. Woodruff’s moving back and opening the tap school is just, it’s a gift from above."
CNN President Jonathan Klein said, "Finding someone with Judy’s experience and knowledge is hard to begin with, but finding someone to anchor "Inside Politics with Judy Woodruff," will be made all the more difficult as no one we’re considering is named Judy Woodruff."
When you need another fake news source, PoopyCaca.com is there.
- Inside "Inside Politics" - CNN Filibustered By Judy Woodruff
- Published: May 09, 2005
- Type: Satire
- Section: Politics
- Filed Under: Culture: Humor and Satire
- Writer: PoopyCaca
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good point, and you're welcome
A pleasure to read blog but does anyone really know where Woodruffhas gone since she said not retired and still would be working?
Judy Woodruff was the best news anchor! I will miss her terribly! Now I am no longer motivated to watch CNN... well I will still watch it but with less enthusiasm, but I will never watch FOX.
Good riddance. Judy Woodruff was one of the most biased news reporters on TV. It is like a breath of fresh air to turn on the TV and not have to put up with her consistent reporting for the liberal cause.
USA Today Disappoints a Nation
You would thing the USA Today newspaper would want to tell it's readers how New Hampshire is destroying a Disabled Veteran. I announced that I am running for NH executive Council. I have openly stated the facts clearly, numerous times. The Union Leader (UL) newspaper quotes Daniel Webster "There Is Nothing So Powerful As the Truth", yet the UL and every NH newspaper refuse to print the facts. The Fosters newspaper of Dover NH openly tells me that only when what I say they agree with will they print it. The UL tells me what I say hurts people with good reputations. I am not running for office to please the news editors or the powerful in office. I as many others have given our lives for this nation and the USA Today is not big enough to inform its readers of NH's indiscretions. Are veterans now created to serve the powerful?
In 1998 a family that I had never met read my letter to the editor and asked me for help. I explained that I dropped out of school to join the Marine Corps. The Madbury NH selectmen was using the power of their elected office to seek personal revenge on other citizens. The selectmen did not deny this criminal action under oath. NH Judges and government officials have criminally violated our Constitution 29 or more times to help friends of the state seek revenge on other citizens. I did not hesitate to help this family.
I was so persistent that the NH state police ordered me to stop helping this Madbury family. When I continued. I was arrested as a terrorist under the Patriot Act. I lost my freedom for 6 months. 4 days before the trial the charges are dropped. This is miss use of state powers. The governor can not shut me up so he locks me up. The newspapers never print the truth, only what the government told them.
I am a 100% service connected disabled veteran. The state taking my freedom did not stop me from helping fellow American citizens. So the state destroyed my health. The Governor informed the Veterans Hospital that I was a terrorist. I write the governor to ask why? I am sent back to jail, fined and given two years probation. I gave my life for this country and this is what you do to me. I volunteer at least 1000 hours each year since discharge in 74 helping other citizens. I would tell you what we should do to these criminal judges, newspapers and government officials, but violence should not be necessary in a civilized democracy. I volunteer to help this Madbury family. I volunteer to show respect for those that gave their lives over the years for our freedom. For the NH government to stop my VA medical benefits and a nation not be told by any newspaper just is inconceivable. I am a nobody so just discard a 100% disabled veteran.
How many of the other Candidates are Veterans. Your censorship of my candidacy tells me that you do not believe I am good enough for office. I have violated no laws. I scare the people in power, I scare the news editors, because I am not afraid to stand behind the truth. Newspaper censorship hurts every single American citizen.
I do not want your sympathy. I came back alive. I am running for office because I believe in our Constitution. I believe government officials should not be allowed to destroy this Madbury NH family or any other family. After all that the powerful have done to my family and me, I believe it is my obligation to help fellow American citizens. Strangers to me or not, I can not allow these judges or elected officials to openly violate the Constitution to destroy people that they do not like. I am a United States Marine and I believe in our Constitution. The United States has not yet become a dictatorship. You do not have to vote for me, but should know the facts. Newspapers censoring my words because I make judges and government officials afraid is a crime.
The NH newspapers censor my story. They call my candidacy a "token". I served my country because I believe in her. When NH newspapers see fit to rig an election by destroying a Disabled Veteran you would think someone would care. The American Legion, Elk's and VFW ignore the situation. The Boston Globe, Herald, NY Times and all the other papers ignore my letters. You would think that a paper that uses the symbol USA would have the moral guts to inform it's readers what is happening in NH. This is a front page letter, with undisputable facts. This story is censored because in the United States of America I have become just a nobody and nobodies Just don't count.
Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC "Semper Fi"
465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824
603-659-6217
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I just noticed I'm blog critic of the day.
Thanks blogcritics!
I'd like to thank everyone who made this possible, but first, I've gotta thank the big guy, Shaquille O'Neal.
You definitely got the last word in the Lakers soap opera...