What happened? My brother and I are music-loving, identical gay twins. Why didn't we start a band, go to a studio and record a CD like identical lesbian twins Tegan and Sara? It makes me so fucking jealous.

I mean, I am jealous enough of lesbians as it is, with their outsider status, their political awareness, their righteously comfortable shoes — so different from the exhausting gay culture of men, muscle and maxing out credit cards.

Many people think that gay men want to be heterosexual women. Uh-uh, not me. If I was a woman, I would want to be a lesbian, preferably one of the hot ones on "The L Word". However, if I somehow fail to get cast in that show, I would want to be my lesbian friend Sarah Kressler, who I've lost touch with.

(Sarah, if you googled your own name and found it here, I want you to know that I admired you, your edgy look; your cool, cool clothes; your gawky dance with the fingers waving as guns, shooting invisible bullets in every direction. I really really wished I was the male version of you, but without the long years of therapy. And if you decide to pay me the $104.75 you owe me, we can be friends again.)

For some reason, I have always had an affinity for lesbian music: the Indigo Girls, Melissa Etheridge, Clay Aiken. I can't really explain it.

While lesbian music runs the gamut from folk to country, rock to pop, there's always this organic quality to it, like fresh, warm, dog shit that I stepped on this morning. It's like every note came straight from the blood, tears and sweat of hitching a U-Haul by yourself, while the stripper you met last week--now your girlfriend--sits on the curb, buffing her long, red fingernails.

There's certainly plenty of heartsickness in So Jealous, the fourth disc from the Canadian duo. But it's not totally despondent or morose. It's more like a wry, I've-been-here-before kinda thing, which for the most part, helps cut down some of the potentially corniness from their earnest lyrics, which sound like they could have been lifted directly from their diaries.

The bright production, upbeat tempos and quirky harmonizing really make this CD a lot of fun. "Speak Slow" rocks out, a totally headbanging song about co-dependency: 'when your love lets you go / you only want love more / even when love wasn't what you were looking for.' Yeah, you could pretend those bruises are from slamdancing to this song, I'll totally believe you.

My other favorite song is "I Know I Know I Know," which is about negotiating a break-up after an infidelity. Just because you're breaking up doesn't mean you don't still love each other, that even packing 'box after box and you're still by my side.' This is the best break-up song I've heard this year. I hope they never find true love.

The rest of the album is packed with great tracks like "You Wouldn't Like Me," "Walking With a Ghost," "Wake Up Exhausted." It's a great pop/rock album with a bit of punk thrown in. This album is so catchy, it'll be on heavy rotation at my house for a long, long time.

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Other questionable reviews by No Milk. Visit my blog here.