Hind legs, don't fail me now!

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That commercial is playing on TV again. I think it's for some kind of cat food. The poor cat is singing, "meow-meow-meow-meow, meow-meow-meow-meow" over and over again, then the human announcer does some kind of voice-over.

Obviously the humans who made that commercial never figured out what the cat was really singing. He wasn't singing the praises of cat food, that's for sure. Let's just say it isn't something you'd want to repeat in front of your mother, and leave it at that.

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One of the humans is sitting at his desk. He's filling out paperwork. I think I'll jump right up there and sit in the middle of all the papers on his desk.

Then I'll make my "cute face" and purr for added effect. Like what's he gonna do?

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How dirty must I be when they feel the need to grab me by the scruff of the neck and plunge me into a bathtub full of water? And don't get me started on the scented shampoo!

And it doesn't help when they laugh and make comments like, "Look how small he looks when he's wet!"

Thanks for the ego-boost, people.

I'm now hiding in a closet. I'm still damp and smell like strawberries.

I guess I'll have to kick the litter out of the box again. How many times will we have to dance this dance before they learn?

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I don't know what it is about a piece of string but, when one of the humans holds it just out of my reach and start whipping it around, I can't help myself. I jump and try to catch it. I'll do it over and over. I just can't seem to stop.

I confess... string is my guilty pleasure.

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I've been sick for days. I can't keep any food down and I ache all over. I think I may be dying.

One down, eight to go — if it comes to that.

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The preceding originally appeared on The World According to Pete