REVIEW

CBS Premiere: Locusts Review

Written by Matt Paprocki
Published April 25, 2005

Finally, a direct-to-TV creature feature that got it right and it's not on the Sci-Fi Channel. The premiere of "Locusts" was way beyond the junk CBS produced a few weeks back with "Spring Break Shark Attack." That's not saying this is quality filmmaking, just a cheap, quick blast of fun for those interested in the genre. Cult TV fans get Lucy Lawless in the starring role, which is probably the big selling point.

Lawless is thrown in as Dr. Maddy Reardon, part of the Department of Agriculture. She discovers one of her facilities has been breeding bio-engineered locusts without permission. During their ordered destruction (as you can predict), a few escape and begin breeding relentlessly.

It's a frightening scenario, even if a lot of it seems to make no sense whatsoever. The CG used to create the swarms is a bit above average, and during their many attacks, it actually becomes quite eerie. In a nice touch, a few of them even splatter 'against' the camera, adding to the mayhem. The body count is meager (they just seem to deliver small bites for the most part) until half way through when the writers ran out of ideas and made them carnivorous. They wreak plenty of other havoc, taking down an entire airliner in what has to be the films money shot (though it's a direct rip-off of the obscure Japanese film "War of the Insects").

That's really the saving grace of "Locusts," as the title creatures get plenty of screen time. The film easily avoids this common trap. The humans are the downside as usual, each one offering up performances that wouldn't be acceptable back in 1930. Lawless is fine, it's every single supporting actor playing along with her that deliver ridiculous dialogue, cheap one-liners, and seem to drop in and out of the film where convenient.

Logic is at a premium too. It's unexplained what exactly happened when the locusts first escape. Obviously, someone tried to get them out of the lab, but for what reason or for who is entirely unknown. The finale leaves a bad taste in your mouth. The solution to rid the world from a group of voracious insects is fair and mildly logical. What's not is how they figure the remaining few have magically become sterile. That's not just movie logic, that's writers block. There are also some ill-placed moments of humor that seem entirely out of place in what is, otherwise, a movie played straight.

Clichés are cringe-worthy, adding up much quicker than the disappointing body count. Maddy of course works too much, her husband it tired of it, and she becomes pregnant. The government types want to kill Americans in order to fight off the swarm. The 'evil' creator of this new breed of course makes a heroic turn, sacrificing his life in the process. It's all a bit much after a while.

Still, there's enough here to make a recommendation if you're a fan of brain dead entertainment. Sure, it's all lowbrow and cheesy. So what? "Locusts" is fun and one of the better insects-eat-the-world movies in a long time. It slaughters some of the tripe from the Sci-Fi Channel like "Deadly Swarm." Maybe CBS is on to something after all.

Matt Paprocki is the former reviews editor for Digital Press, a video game website with an appreciation for the retro side of the industry. The deep game collection which spans nearly 30 systems and 2,000 games line his walls for research purposes. Matt strives to bring credibility to video game journalism, and take it in a new direction to aid the industry in becoming respected with all forms entertainment media. He currently freelances for GameArgus.com and MultiPlayerGames.com.
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CBS Premiere: Locusts Review
Published: April 25, 2005
Type: Review
Section: Video
Filed Under: Video: Horror, Video: SF, Video: Television
Writer: Matt Paprocki
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Comments

#1 — April 25, 2005 @ 14:21PM — Uncle John [URL]

Lucy is so yummy! I would't mind a bite or two myself.

#2 — April 25, 2005 @ 15:06PM — Duane

The usual bunch o' cliches:

Science bad (playing God).

Military bad (collateral damage is just fine).

Sex bad (people who are about to have sex get attacked by bugs).

Love conquers all (protagonists manage to pursue a love affair even though civilization is about to meet its demise).

Other than that, it was great.

#3 — April 25, 2005 @ 17:44PM — Triniman [URL]

I thought it was absolute crap. Perfect entertainment for the ignorant masses, though, which is what they were after.

#4 — August 15, 2005 @ 17:17PM — SueEllen

Okay, Locusts? 3 words...PILE OF CRAP.

I'm 15 years old and I still have more brain power than this writer. Not only did unexplainable things happen regularly...they weren't even SLIGHTLY believable. The biggest and perhaps the thing that made me laugh the most was when they decided to destroy the locusts with electricity...possible, you might be thinking...but, not when you are suddenly informed that the way they are going to attract these bugs to huge sources of electric voltage is by...DUN DUN DUN...hanging huge shiny pieces of material you can by at a CRAFT STORE for about a 1/2 mile from power lines. THIS ATTRACTS THE MILLIONS ON LOCUSTS??? SHINY THINGS WITH STREAMERS?! Good Lord...hahaha...

Obviously, I watched the entire movie...but before I sign-out...let me tell you why, even after the first 30 minutes were SOO bad...it was because the locusts got into an office building and there was some poor lady...some extra or something...and she's screaming because they are attacking her, so she jumps onto an office table and starts hitting the ceiling(???) and then instantly jumps off the table flapping her arms like a bird. It was possibly the funniest bit of TV I have ever seen.

Locusts should have been labeled a comedy.

#5 — August 19, 2005 @ 20:08PM — Brittany [URL]

The movie may not have been good. Except the parts with lucy in them. She is a true actress in every sense of the word. she helped that movie a lot withouy her the movie would not have even been fimed. the scene where she shines the most is where "maddy" finds out she is pregnant and also she ad libbed a lot everyshow or movie she is in she ad libbs a lot. every director would be happy to have her in their movies

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