REVIEW

The Duke Reads "If Chins Could Kill" By Bruce Campbell

Written by Duke De Mondo
Published April 09, 2005
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Here Bruce, how bout you step onto this contraption I devised so as I can spin you round like fuck and fling you through the trees at demented speeds.

The fuck you mean this shit is toxic, Campbell? Get it in your mouth and start spittin', fore I smack you upside the nuts.

These sorts of escapades.

Needless to say, Raimi better not try none a that shit with Kirsten on those Spider-Beast flicks.

Anyway, what it all boils down to is that Bruce has brilliant anecdotes hanging from his every inch. Great stories from his childhood, stories of those super-8 epics, stories about him and another lower-rung cast member trying to sneak into as many shots as possible in a Tom Arnold picture.

The sortsa stuff those "big name" motherfuckers miss in their race to tell us all about the time they sexed with Kim Basinger and Rob Reiner at the same time during some Oscar shindig. You know the kinda crap they force on us.

But still. You've gone too far Campbell. How many tears have you shed for Kirsten? Hardly even half a tumbler, most likely. And yet there She is, just turning up out the blue to see ol' Bruce sign a book.

I'm getting my chin enlarged first thing Monday morning.

Thank you Kirsten, my muse, the P2P software for my illegal MP3's of love.

Thanks folks.

The Duke resides at Mondo Irlando

More Hollywood Expose - Flix Wizard : Hollywood Hard-Ass

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The Duke (Aaron McMullan to his parents and the clergy) is a Northern Irish writer, performer and insomniac currently residing in London. He is the creator of Mondo Irlando, wherein his scribblings and hollerings can be found. He is currently working towards the completion of his first novel, and his debut "punk / country / folk / whatever" album has recently been released by Ex Libris Records . You can also pop by His MySpace Page and maybe have a coffee and a biscuit.
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The Duke Reads "If Chins Could Kill" By Bruce Campbell
Published: April 09, 2005
Type: Review
Section: Books
Filed Under: Books: Nonfiction, Books: Entertainment, Books: Biography
Writer: Duke De Mondo
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Comments

#1 — April 10, 2005 @ 00:39AM — Wicked [URL]

This has got to be the best reviews of Bruce's book I've come across yet!
I'm still laughing, not at your pain and heartache mind you-- If I didn't own the book already I would have to grab a Boomstick and chainsaw, kill a few Deadites and get one--or just buy it from Amazon.com!

Seriously Duke--you add much color and flavor to an otherwise hum-drum profession.

Now I have to read "If Chin's Could Kill" again--along with all your other reviews.

#2 — April 10, 2005 @ 02:28AM — Temple Stark [URL]

He's pretty motherfuckin good isn't he? He'll figure it out soon enough. Best yet - I don't think it'll go to his motherfucking head.

I'm putting this comment on my resume by the way.

#3 — April 10, 2005 @ 04:24AM — SFC SKI

Kirsten showed up at the singing for my book, doesn't she do that for everyone?

#4 — April 10, 2005 @ 11:51AM — Phillip Winn [URL]

I'll ask her when she wakes up...

#5 — April 10, 2005 @ 14:09PM — Eric Berlin [URL]

Duke -- Yet another brilliant foray into madness, filmic lore, and the everlong quest of she that we must to refer to as She.

Evil Dead II is one of my favorite movies of all time, certainly Top 5. I've often strived to be both badass and goofy enough to say "Who's laughing now?" Anyway, the scene when everything in the house is laughing at our poor Ash is one of the best and funniest I've ever seen in my life.

Campbell was once described to me as the "best bad actor of all time." Does he get into his famous broad screen persona? I think he's great, personally, and he turned Bubba Ho-Tep from a ho hum number into a fun romp of a flick.

I had no idea that Campbell and Raimi went back to school days together. Very cool stuff.

I've seen this book at the bookstore a few times, and I had that longing feeling... please Lord (of your choice), grant me the 12-15 hours needed to get through this surely bountiful and entertaining retrospective...

#6 — April 10, 2005 @ 18:22PM — Aaron, Duke De Mondo [URL]

thanks all!

and if it needs a further reccomendation, and i think it does, this book fucking rules beyond reason.

But if he thinks i'll forget the trauma, hurt, agony, slight flu, he can think again. and this time, he better think the exact opposite.

#7 — April 11, 2005 @ 10:49AM — Doc

It's "airs and graces", Duke. Not sure how one would put on 'heirs'. Putting your kid on your shoulders perhaps? :-)

#8 — April 12, 2005 @ 16:48PM — Eric Berlin [URL]

This book review has been selected for Advance.net. You'll be able to find this and other Blog Critics reviews at such places at Cleveland.com's Book Reviews column.

#9 — April 12, 2005 @ 20:10PM — Aaron, Duke De Mondo [URL]

nice one eric, cheers. good editing job, too.

dave; "Not sure how one would put on 'heirs'. Putting your kid on your shoulders perhaps? :-)"

exactly. bruce didn't do that once.

ahem.

#10 — April 13, 2005 @ 00:48AM — Joel Caris [URL]

A damn fine review, Duke, and now I'm feeling the need to rush out and pick this one up. Sounds highly entertaining--not unexpected, coming from Bruce Motherfucking Campbell.

#11 — April 13, 2005 @ 12:58PM — Aaron, Duke De Mondo [URL]

thanks Joel. and yeah, entertaining as hell. incidentally, does anyone have any info on his forthcoming Make Love The Bruce Campbell Way? as i illustrate in the review, this knowledge would have been very useful a while back.

#12 — April 19, 2005 @ 06:24AM — Meryl [URL]

I was not that familiar with Bruce Campbell when my sister loaned me her book. It was a great read! We read the book because he knows our cousins and talks about them in the book. Recommended whether or not you're a Bruce fan.

#13 — September 25, 2005 @ 14:34PM — Somethingshiny [URL]

Hysterical review, Duke! Fans of Bruce Campbell ("Evil Dead", "Army of Darkness", "Xena: Warrior Princess", "The Adventures of Brisco County Jr", "Jack of All Trades") may be interested in meeting Bruce during his tour for his audio version of the book "Make Love The Bruce Campbell Way" September 27-30, 2005 in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Seattle and Portland. His second book continues the "B" movie theme with a fictional (?) bumbling B-movie actor Bruce Campbell scoring an A-list film; hilarity ensues. The audio book is narrated by Bruce himself as well as a host of other actors! More about the book and tour is on his site at www.bruce-campbell.com. Cheers!

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