The Vatican Menace
Published April 05, 2005
The wagers are already plunking on who will be the next Pope. The favorites at the moment are Diongi Tettamanzi, an Italian Cardinal who is Arch-Bishop of Milan, and who ghost-wrote one of John Paul's encyclicals, and Francis Arinze, an African Cardinal who is Archbishop of Nigeria and a social arch-conservative. But there is a saying at the Vatican that, "one goes in a Pope and comes out a Cardinal." In other words, those favored at the start are seldom elected. This election may violate conventional wisdom due to the new electoral rules put in place by John Paul II, allowing the election of the next Pope by simple majority if there is no 2/3 candidate after 12 days of Conclave.
But the real issue is why so few get to vote on who becomes Pope? With the Religious Right pushing religion further and further down the throat of secular government in this country, why shouldn't the secular world intrude upon religious governance? Why shouldn't the world insist on a transparent and democratic transfer of power within the Catholic Church?
The world must insist on the Church widening the franchise, to give some weight to the preferences of average Catholics here and around the world. The voices of the many are shut out of the process of electing the Vicar of Christ. This must not stand.
Why limit the world's choices to a bunch of old men from Europe and the Third World? Most of the current Papabilis are well into their late 60's and 70's because of the unwritten 'rule' that the successor of a Pope should not have been elevated by him to the College of Cardinals. This leaves a very thin field indeed when you consider that 117 of 135 currently in the College were elevated by John Paul II because of his long reign (the third longest in the history of the Papacy). Can we allow the election of the next Pope to dominated by just 18 old men?
Technically, any member of the Catholic Church may become Pope, even if not a priest. The Church can be a true democracy. The last several hundred years of tradition have cemented into an ossified and authoritarian habit of picking only high Church officials as Pope. Wouldn't it be extraordinary if any member of the Church, including women, could stand for election to the Papacy - not just by the College, but by a vote of all Catholics? That would make the Pope much more reflective of a body of the Church. In fact, it might just make the Papacy the democratically-elected office representing the largest number of people in the world.
- The Vatican Menace
- Published: April 05, 2005
- Type:
- Section: Culture
- Filed Under: Culture: Humor and Satire, Politics: International
- Writer: Michael D. Bryan
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Comments on this articleComments
Michael sez..
*We must invade and occupy the Vatican City.*
ok..satire or not..this one i can get behind..
i could care less who gets to be the new Pontiff, or any of the church shyte..
i wanna get down to the basement and see what's in the "secret" libraries and vaults
can you possibly imagine the Loot they have down there that has been gathered...undisturbed for what...well over 1500 years!!
OMFG...
all the history, books, scrolls...general Wisdom..that conflicted with Doctrine and Dogma..
stashed away from the sight of the world..
Plato's Comedia..only rumored to have ever existed..
stuff from Alexandria..
Pagan works from europes past...hell, from the world over..
tomes of "magicke" and "witch craft"
it totally bloggles my mind
who's with me?
Excelsior!
YES! Time for a "Regime Change" in one of the most dangerous and hostile countries in the world~~~ one of those weird little nations called a "pricipality"---along with Monaco, Luxembourg, Lichtenstein, etc., ~~we're speaking of the nefarious VATICAN----which is legally a country of it's own within the borders of the nation of Italy~~the Vatican is NOT subject to laws of Italy; did everybody know that? I am dead serious--this is NOT satire... look it up--Google it if you want (you can "google" me while you're at it--tie me down first and use a feather!) ...
But REALLY: we need to strike 1st---a pre-emptive nuclear attck--we need to try out those tactical small nuclear bunker busters on St Peter's ~~catch them while they are in Conclave. Don't let them get out! We missed Saddam a few times--out intelligence is MUCH better NOW, eh!
NO fewking nukes fer Bog's sake!!
i want the Libraries!!
then you folks can do what yas like..
but, free the books..
Excelsior!
OK! A perfect time to test the NEUTRON bomb---on the Vatican!
Supposedly it only kills people--leaves all the physical infrastructure in place ....
But Nah~~~~
look at how all this book learning has promulgated all theese insiduous left-wing liberals (like ME!) ----nah~~~let's burn all the books!!!!
The Vatican library supposedly has the most extensive occult collection in the earth~~~
Some "insiders" have related that the astrological section contains more than is know by any outside groups--including verification od an astrological technique some professional astrologers have referenced to many years of how using the Ascendant and Moon sign in conjunction can provide a time window each month that, give or take a 2 hour span, can precisely--to a 99.8% degree offer a woman a virtual foolproof and "natural" form of birth control--and the correlative opposite: a 2 hour window each month when the most likely time to GET pregnant would be ...........
but the Catholic church, even though it has known about and had in it's very own library underneath the Vatican THIS very same information, cannot very well come out and "ENDORSE" Astrology, can it ???
Strange, even though the man Jesus Christ was said by many ancient manuscripts to have been a very competent astrologer Himself .........
And lest we forget ~~~~~~~~~remember those three "Wise Men" ~~~~ the Chaldean Nobles who came "seeking Him" "following the Star" ............
Now just WHAT do you think these three "Wise" men from chaldea WERE ? Could they have been ASTROLGERS! Duh!!! Great guess Sherlock!
But that doesn't rea;;y fit in with the "official" Catholic/ Vatican doctrine---don't they try to convey to us that this is "fortunetelling" or something sinister and demonic--satanic even ?????
Hmmmmmmmmm.....just a little food for thought ...
maybe Bush could invade and install another successful democracy...
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I moved this post over to the Culture section and assigned it to the Humor/Satire subcategory.