Famous Last Words

Written by Mark Schannon
Published April 03, 2005

There's so much obsession with death these days. That chick in Florida, that guy in Rome, a bunch of people on some Indian reservation. Personally, I find it too difficult to read anything out it or comment, so I thought I'd fill some space with other people's last words.

"Thomas Jefferson still survives." John Adams, 2nd U.S. president, died on July 4, 1826. Had love/hate relationship with Jefferson for years. Only problem? Jefferson died the same day. Believe it or not.

Ethan Allen, big shot during American Revolution, told when dying that the angels were waiting for them, said, "Waiting are they? Waiting are they? Well--let 'em wait." My kind of guy.

"Am I dying or is this my birthday?" Lady Nancy Astor, first female member of the British Parliament. On her death bed, surrounded by friends, she suddenly awoke. Of course, then she died, but what a line to go out on.

Tallulah Bankhead, one of the 20th centuries great personalities, lived a life of debauchery, excess, and theater, including Hitchcock's "Lifeboat." Her last words, befogged as they were..." codeine...bourbon." God Bless you, Tallulah, where ever you are.

Lenny Bruce, the late, great master, the man who launched a generation of comedians, was found naked with a needle in his arm by a friend. His last words? "Do you know where I can get any shit?"

And finally, Charlie Chaplin, lying on his deathbed. A priest says, "May the Lord have mercy on your soul." Chaplin, as usual not missing a beat, responds, "Why not? After all, it belongs to him."

Have you given thought to your last words?

(I haven't a clue about the book I cited, but them's the rules...link to a book & I always play by the rules.

Crisis/risk/issues management and communications and PR consultant, free-lance writer, aspiring pundit and author. Blogcritics.org asst. ed, politics. Wanted to set world on fire, but bride won't let me play with matches, so I'm counting on upcoming, someday, perhaps novels to accomplish through awe and wild acclaim what arson didn't. Also, yes, I take my meds regularly. Please check out my lit blog, No Blank Pages
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Famous Last Words
Published: April 03, 2005
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Section: Culture
Writer: Mark Schannon
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