Outsourcing the President's Daily Briefings

Written by Z.Z. Bachman
Published April 03, 2005

(Culture/Satire : ScrappleFace) Scott Ott's recent commentary on the White House efforts to close the gap in the President's Daily "intelligence" Briefings (PDBs) drives home the paradox between intelligence gathering and mainstream media reporting. He suggests that perhaps a strategy of outsourcing unbiased intelligence gathering, a clear core competency found only in the world's most esteemed objective media outlets, might be the way to go:

ScrappleFace Satire: President's Daily Brief Outsourced to News Networks: "(2005-04-03) — After harsh criticism of the President's Daily Brief (PDB) this week by the panel investigating America's WMD intelligence, the White House today announced it would outsource PDB preparation to a coalition of major news organizations, including CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, CBS, ABC and several big-city newspapers.

The WMD panel's report derided the CIA-compiled PDB for its sensational headlines, lack of context, failure to acknowledge unreliability of sources, lack of dissenting views and an underlying effort to 'sell' the president on a preexisting agenda despite the facts, or lack thereof.

The new daily brief — dubbed the MSCNABSFOXNYLATWP-PDB — according to White House spokesman Trent Duffy, will consist of straight factual news, in context, with conjecture and opinion clearly labeled as such and minority opinions granted due weight based on carefully-researched evidence.

'The news networks will bring to the White House a certain humility and objectivity that's lacking in the CIA,' said Mr. Duffy. 'We're going to give the president the same kind of unvarnished truth, in an unbiased package, that American news consumers have enjoyed for years.'" - Scott Ott/ScrappleFace

Perhaps a consortium of objective unbiased "intelligence" straight from the editorial desks of the Washington Post and NYT might actually be preferred. The world awaits with baited breath. In particular Iran and North Korea. - ZZ Bachman / ZZ News & Satire
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Z.Z. Bachman is the current editor-in-chief at ZardozZ News & Satire and contributing editor and site developer at OpenWeb Downloads. He also manages the popular ZZ OpenRing, an active blogring dedicated to the advancement of cultural blogging and the freedom of political and artistic self expression. You will find his politics and satirical perspectives heavily laced with sarcasm and askew of center. That is, given his geo-political definition of "center" on any particular day.
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Outsourcing the President's Daily Briefings
Published: April 03, 2005
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Section: Culture
Filed Under: Culture: Humor and Satire
Writer: Z.Z. Bachman
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Comments

#1 — April 3, 2005 @ 21:52PM — Mark Schannon [URL]

An excellent strategy to improve the president's exposure, given his propensity to forget to zip up his fly after visits to the men's room.

However, the obvious flaw in the plan--an indication that the White House is not serious about protecting the president's privates--is that the truly independent news sources have not been included.

Where is John Stewart? Where is Ann Coulter? Where is Saddam Hussein? Why wasn't I invited?

By relying on news sources who only get their news from each other, our country will continue to be exposed to ridicule and ill-planned operations that result in millions for tribute but not one penny for defense.

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