As the UK Tories propose 'dog whistle' issues to bring voters to heel, Queenie examines the mysteries of issue classification.

Queenie is highly amused at the latest spat between the Tories and New Labour in the UK, primarily because it has arisen over the nature of the Tories' spanking new set of issues (although in reality, they are the same old issues dressed up to sound like new, but we'll park that). These 'dog whistle' issues are designed to 'bring the Tories' traditional voting base to heel', and have been imported from Australia by their new policy advisor.

This got Queenie thinking about issues in general. And how policy supremos and spinners develop issues. Queenie used to do this for a job, but she wasn't very good at it, and so her party lost the election and then she had to go out into the real world and forage for a living like everyone else. But this might be an opportunity for Queenie to get back onto the "pithy phrase" gravy train. So here goes with a review of some of the more common Issue Types:

Dog whistle issues, sends a sharp message like a dog whistle, which calls clearly to those intended, and goes unheard by others. Covers subjects that raise levels of xenophobia, fear of terrorism, homophobia, or polarises debate around the right to life, that kind of thing.

Soccer mom issues, very similar to 'dog whistle' issues, but for people who live on Wisteria Lane. Can also be called 'family values'.

Nanny state issues, driven by Type A personalities (think Bree Van de Camp) and focus on issues that impact on personal liberty such as driving regulations, alcohol awareness programmes, sunblock promotion campaigns, obesity awareness programmes, gun control or Medicare.

Bread and butter issues, all political systems have them - tax, social welfare, economic policy, issues concerned with money and economic stability. Yawn.

Bread and jam issues, special tax cuts for the rich, special deals for Halliburton, tax exemption for horse stud fees in Ireland, that kind of thing.