Is Barry Bonds a Hologram?
Published March 18, 2005
I think so. You have to look at the current situation baseball is in and ask yourself this question. Let's not touch the homerun leader, I suppose. Why does Barry get off so easily? And I'm not just referring to his unexplained exemption from being subpoenaed. I'm referring to the fact that Mr. Bonds basically doesn't have to do anything. It's like he's got a free spin for life.
Not only does Bonds apparently not exist according to the government but a couple of other things about him (or maybe more accurately his name) are quite interesting. For example, unlike myself, the majority of my male friends are hopelessly addicted to fantasy baseball. It seems that assigning points to balls and strikes is entertaining enough for all the major sports websites to develop fantasy sections to their sites. With the exception of a one or two sites, Barry Bonds is not a draftable player. What? I'm serious! You simply cannot choose Barry Bonds. I was told its something more like "anonymous San Francisco outfielder". How is that possible? Don't all these guys belong to the same union? Did someone accidentally leave something out of the ONE undraftable player's contract?
There's obviously a reason why he's not on there. It's because his ego is bigger than SBC Park itself.
Oh, before I forget. There's another thing he's missing from. Electronic Arts best selling franchise videogame, MVP 2005. Can't be Bonds. Can't hit with Bonds. Can't field with Bonds. Why? Cause he's not in the game. That's right; you heard me correctly. There's something preventing Barry Bonds from being in a virtual representation of America's pastime and I don't know what it is. So you know what EA did? They replaced Barry Bonds with a some white guy named J. Dowd. Dowd's got Bonds' power and hitting ability, and if you're like me you can go into the game's roster settings and turn Dowd into a black man and give him a name like oh I don't know, BARRY BONDS.
I just feel bad for the young San Franciscan boy who asks his dad "why isn't Barry Bonds in my videogame?"
-"anonymous New Jersey blogger"
- Is Barry Bonds a Hologram?
- Published: March 18, 2005
- Type:
- Section: Sports
- Writer: Jeff Bakalar
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Comments on this articleComments
"As if he needs the cash." My thoughts exactly. Maybe he should have his own league.
Bonds.... truth i dunno why he aint in the game..if it has something to do with him wanting money ar him just being out of his mind..i dunno...but why would he want to take himself out of the game...like the earlier comment i feel bad for the lil san francisco kid..."dad wheres barry"
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Barry Bonds is not included in many games because he removed himself from the collective players association marketing agreement. You have to pay Barry separately to use Barry's name, unlike the rest. As if he needs the cash.
Brendan Donnelly is also sometimes not included due to being a replacement player during the '94 strike. The players association won't accept him...