Cats And Guns... A Potentially Lethal Combination
Published March 10, 2005
I just saw this story come burbling over the AP wire:
BATES TOWNSHIP, Mich. - A man cooking in his kitchen was shot after one of his cats knocked his 9mm handgun onto the floor, discharging the weapon, Michigan State Police said.
The wound was apparently not fatal; otherwise, I think we would've just been introduced to the latest candidate for the 2005 Darwin Awards.
Please, gun-and-cat owners: if you are going to disregard the fundamental rules of firearms safety (hint: never ever leave your semi-automatic pistol lying around with one in the chamber!), please practice good Cat Awareness.
Cat Awareness 101: If your personal property is sitting in a location where your cat might like to lie down, it's toast. My good feline buddy Mister Gato, in his unending quest for lebensraum, has knocked everything from the day's mail to expensive electronic equipment onto the floor.
There is, of course, ample literary precedent for the pistol-packing kittycat. Come to think of it, Behemoth carried a nine, too.
(Also posted at enrevanche.)
- Cats And Guns... A Potentially Lethal Combination
- Published: March 10, 2005
- Type: Opinion
- Section: Culture
- Filed Under: Books: Fantasy
- Writer: Barry Campbell
- Barry Campbell's BC Writer page
- Barry Campbell's personal site
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Comments on this articleComments
I can see the bumper stickers now...
"Guns don't kill people. Cats with guns kill people."
I almost choked on my bagel when I read the word "lebensraum."
Nice work, Barry.
JR, that guy gets the Darwin, hands down. And from the sound of it, it couldn't have happened to a nicer or more deserving guy.
Eric, thanks for your kind words.
I'm a strong supporter of Maine Coons owning firearms.
Also, Persians.
But those damn Siamese...you can't trust the bastards...
;-P
Don't worry folks, The machine gun toating moggies will soon be running for the trees, Inside imformation has been leaked. And soon a crack team of commando mice will be working undercover to rid the streets of those fearfull felines
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Cats & Guns, they rock! I saw them in 1989 with the original singer.
To be serious though, this is why cat gun control is a serious issue. However, the cat gun lobby is a powerful who threatens to shit in my shoes if I make any more trouble. Plus, there is the alarmist group 'ban cat guns now' which is rumoured to be made up chiefly of dogs and tweety birds.