The strange sad saga of Michael Jackson continued today when former child-star Emmanuel (Webster) Lewis announced he was suing Michael Jackson for non-molestation.

"I'm so tired of hearing 'Michael did this to me,' and 'Michael did that to me'," said the diminuitive star, who was last seen giggling uncontrollably on The Surreal Life. "In all the time we hung out together, Michael never touched my penis. Not once. Hell, he never even offered me any 'Jesus Juice'. And I've carried that shame with me for long enough."

Lewis' attorney, Roy Black, was quick to point out that Lewis is not asking for any money. According to Black, all his client wants is a public apology from Jackson.

"For Emmanuel, this isn't about money," he explained. "And it never has been. It's about Emmanuel's fans, and the rest of the general public, knowing that while Michael did not sexually assault my client, he did, in fact, find him to be highly desirable.

"Mr. Lewis should not have to continue with the shame of being known as the one child Michael Jackson did not try to bugger."