Oscars: The Weeners and Thoughts

Written by Eric Olsen
Published February 28, 2005
page 1 | 2 | 3

Antonio Banderas is not a great singer - having Carlos Santana noodle along with him on electric guitar is pretty pointless.

What the hell is up with that rack on Sidney Lumet's daughter? I'm not sure one should so prominently display what is so clearly not of nature's doing.

Hilary Swank thanked her freaking LAWYERS - ah yes, it is this kind of nonsense that spurred the speed-up efforts

Scorsese loses again, out-legended by Clint Eastwood, who is always strangely affectless when not in character.

As it always does, the show ran out of steam long before the end; other than in the opening, Chris Rock was generic and uncontroversial. I'd like to see more clips from the movies nominated in the major categories and a little more leeway given the acceptance speeches. If they want a shorter show, cut down on the categories given out live. Sorry editors, costume designers, art directors, etc, very few people out of the millions watching give a fig.

And the winners are (in alphabetical order, no less):

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Jamie Foxx
RAY

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Morgan Freeman
MILLION DOLLAR BABY

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Hilary Swank
MILLION DOLLAR BABY

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Cate Blanchett
THE AVIATOR

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
THE INCREDIBLES
Brad Bird

ART DIRECTION
THE AVIATOR
Dante Ferretti (Art Direction); Francesca Lo Schiavo (Set Decoration)

BEST PICTURE
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
Clint Eastwood, Albert S. Ruddy and Tom Rosenberg

CINEMATOGRAPHY
THE AVIATOR
Robert Richardson

COSTUME DESIGN
THE AVIATOR
Sandy Powell

DIRECTING
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
Clint Eastwood

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
BORN INTO BROTHELS
Ross Kauffman and Zana Briski

DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
MIGHTY TIMES: THE CHILDREN'S MARCH
Robert Hudson and Bobby Houston

FILM EDITING
THE AVIATOR
Thelma Schoonmaker

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
THE SEA INSIDE
Spain
Directed by Alejandro Amenábar

HONORARY AWARD
Roger Mayer

HONORARY AWARD
Sidney Lumet

MAKEUP
LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
Valli O'Reilly and Bill Corso

MUSIC (SCORE)
FINDING NEVERLAND
Jan A.P. Kaczmarek

MUSIC (SONG)
THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES
"Al Otro Lado Del Río"
Music and Lyric by Jorge Drexler

WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)
SIDEWAYS
Screenplay by Alexander Payne & Jim Taylor

WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY)
ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND
Screenplay by Charlie Kaufman; Story by Charlie Kaufman & Michel Gondry & Pierre Bismuth

SHORT FILM (ANIMATED)
RYAN
Chris Landreth

SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION)
WASP
Andrea Arnold

SOUND EDITING
THE INCREDIBLES
Michael Silvers and Randy Thom

SOUND MIXING
RAY
Scott Millan, Greg Orloff, Bob Beemer and Steve Cantamessa

VISUAL EFFECTS
SPIDER-MAN 2
John Dykstra, Scott Stokdyk, Anthony LaMolinara and John Frazier

(click over to Oscar.com for links to transcripts of the acceptance speeches and video of post-win interviews)

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Career media professional Eric Olsen is honored to be the founder and publisher of Blogcritics.org, which, quite frankly, rules - as do his wife and four children.
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Oscars: The Weeners and Thoughts
Published: February 28, 2005
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Writer: Eric Olsen
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Comments

#1 — February 28, 2005 @ 11:29AM — Distorted Angel [URL]

I watched more of it than I expected to, in spite of it being rather boring and unfunny. Among the impressions I came away with: Chris Rock looked absolutely great in that neat tux he was wearing, Morgan Freeman was the epitome of a class act in his acceptance speech, and the show in general, when stripped of whatever spontaneity and unpredictability it may have had at one time, is a huge snooze (compare, for example, to the year when Jack Palance won best supporting actor and Billy Crystal was hosting).

And what the hell was up with Sean Penn's hair?

#2 — February 28, 2005 @ 11:32AM — Eric Olsen

I think no matter how they spin it, the 5 second delay does inevitably does drain excitement and spontaneity from the show. Apparently it is going back to live after this year - I bet you'll be able to feel the difference.

#3 — February 28, 2005 @ 11:41AM — Rodney Welch [URL]

Yes, the Lumet daughter has great tits. I wonder if she was the one who married and divorced P.J. O'Rourke in the same year.

#4 — February 28, 2005 @ 11:46AM — Eric Olsen

the barely-contained beach ball look is so fake, though - I have grown weary of obvious messing with Mother Nature: subtle is fine, bursting melons and exploding lips are a bit much

#5 — February 28, 2005 @ 11:47AM — Rodney Welch [URL]

As Howard Hughes once said "Who doesn't like tits?"

#6 — February 28, 2005 @ 11:49AM — Mark Saleski [URL]

i know they're trying to 'spread the love', but some the awards for things like "sound editing" are boring as all hell.


best cleavage award: selma hayek.

#7 — February 28, 2005 @ 12:00PM — Eric Olsen

And Howard was right, but Howard wsn't forced to experience the fruits of modern cosmetic surgery.

Anything that looks real is swell by me

#8 — February 28, 2005 @ 12:41PM — Tom Johnson [URL]

I thought the "tiered" approach to handing out awards was kind of insulting. Either these people are important enough to bring up on stage for what may be their one and only BIG MOMENT ever, or they're not important enough to show on TV. But having some important enough to walk to the stage to accept their award, alone, and some are less important and so have to stand on stage with their competitors, and some aren't important and all and don't even get to the stage at all, well, that's crappy and insulting. Hopefully this will not return next year.

But, yeah, Salma Hayek . . . awesome.

#9 — February 28, 2005 @ 13:11PM — Eric Olsen

as I was trying to say before we were so rudely interrupted: I think the tiered approach was okay because some awards ARE much more important than others from the public's perspective

#10 — February 28, 2005 @ 13:54PM — Rodney Welch [URL]

The tiered approach didn't bother me. Any Oscar show that is over well before midnight is a good one, I think, and this way of doing it obviously did cut down on the time it takes to make that long walk to the podium.

#11 — February 28, 2005 @ 18:15PM — Aaron, Duke De Mondo [URL]

"who arrives 2 1/2 hours early? Morgan Spurlock of Super Size Me is the answer to that question."

ha, man oh man, that knocked me out with a hefty kick in the hilarity glands. also, the joke about tryin to walk into the telly. this was some comedic gem, is what.

#12 — February 28, 2005 @ 18:30PM — Eric Olsen

thanks Duker, you made my day. There wasn't a real obvious overarching theme so you do the best you can with a series of "observations"

#13 — February 28, 2005 @ 18:32PM — Aaron, Duke De Mondo [URL]

it worked a charm, man. in my head it reads like some very droll, dry-witted commentator. very amusing.

#14 — February 28, 2005 @ 18:37PM — Eric Olsen

"shaken, not stirred"

thanks again Duker

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