10:26: Totalitarian fascist Che Guevara is extolled by Hayek. Pretty awful, but still not as bad as Banderas singing.

10:34: This new show with John Stamos could actually be good. A phrase I never thought I'd use.

10:40: "Finding Neverland" wins for Original Score- that'll be it's only award of the evening, I'm sure. The composer's agent's name is "Mr. Greenspan." And when he thanks Harvey Weinstein, people laugh.

10:45: The guy who wins an honorary award for his work on film preservation thanks Ted Turner, the man who- do to his colorization efforts in the '80s- did more to hurt the cause of proper preservation than anyone else.

10:47: Yo Yo Ma! He's here to accompany this year's death montage. Reagan gets some scattered cheers. They spell Carole Eastman's name wrong. Brando and Orbach get the longest applause, even longer than Russ Meyer.

10:55: P. Diddy is a presenter for some reason. He calls the "Polar Express" song "hip," and says it's a way to combat all the negativity going on in the world. But I'd rather just think about Beyonce. She and Josh Groban seem to have chemistry- if she left Jay-Z for him, it may be the funniest scandal in the history of celebrities. And yes, I typed that before Rock made that joke.

11:00: Prince appears to present Best Original Song, and for some reason Kansas' "Carry On My Wayward Son" is his entrance music. I still say Prince should buy the Minnesota Vikings (he has plenty of money, he's local, he's black, and everything on his resume is truthful), but that's another argument for another time. And yuk, "The Motorcycle Diaries" song wins. Though the director singing his entire acceptance speech instead of speaking was a nice touch that more people should try.

11:02: Sean Penn starts his presentation by, uh, defending Jude Law from Rock's joke two hours earlier. Huh? And have you, or has anyone you know, seen "Being Julia"? Too bad they can't show any of the clips of Hilary Swank that actually, you know, will win her the award.

Swank wins. And yes, she remembers to thank her husband this time. Swank now becomes the first "Beverly Hills 90210" alum to win two Best Actress Oscars (or win one Oscar, or be nominated, or come to the Oscars, or even sustain a movie career). She also thanks her agent, Tony Lip, who may or may not be the same Tony Lip who played Carmine Lupertazzi on "The Sopranos."

11:13: As "Sea Inside" wins Best Foreign Language Film, I'm reminded of the amusing debate over whether "Bad Education" was denied the rapturous critical and Academy reception of the last couple Almodovar films because it was "too gay."