9:26: Great Carson tribute. And just when we thought this was a Whoopi Goldberg-free year, she shows up to give worthless commentary. At least she didn't make any tortured Bush/bush puns.

9:30: It's Best Documentary time, and we're luckily spared a Fat Fat Fatty rant since he elected not to submit "F-9/11." "Born Into Brothels" wins instead. "Aviator" wins Best Editing, though considering how long it was, perhaps it could've used a little more.

9:35: Apparently, Sideshow Bob has replaced Adam Duritz as frontman of Counting Crows. Of the 60 CC songs I put on my iPod this afternoon, "Accidentally In Love" is probably the worst.

9:42: Good to see Sandler and Rock back together, even for a stupid bit like this one. Adapted Screenplay, and it's... "Sideways." Overrated yes, but it did deserve it over "Million Dollar Baby," of which the screenplay was probably the weakest element.

9:47: For Visual Effects, "Spider-man 2" wins, which is good since it was the best Hollywood action film of recent years. And the words "Oscar" and "I, Robot" don't belong in the same universe, much less the same sentence.

9:49: The president of the academy refers to his "sermon," and dedicates the evening to the troops. Red-state pandering, anyone?

9:51: Al Pacino salutes Sidney Lumet; "The Pawnbroker" sounds like "The Pornbroker," in Pacino-speak. Lumet's done some great stuff over the years- is it possible to be a film buff over 25 and not have rented "Dog Day Afternoon" at least twice? But "Serpico" wasn't nearly as good as the theatrical version of same in "Rushmore."

We see footage of an in-production Lumet movie with Vin Diesel yelling as a lawyer in a bad wig, which may be the funniest thing I saw all night. I expect so many people to make fun of this in the next few days as to render that film unreleasable.

10:04: More Beyonce! In English this time, albeit if Andrew Lloyd Webber has to accompany her, I vote for French.

10:09: Rock refers to "comedy legend Jeremy Irons." Hey, "Dead Ringers" was pretty funny.

10:13: You know it's the Oscars and not sports or politics when the guy who wins says "I am here tonight because of one guy," and the one guy isn't God or Jesus.

10:14: I nominate Kate Winslet as the most beautiful woman in movies. Anyone disagree? "Aviator" wins cinematography.

10:21: Now that Penelope Cruz has demonstrated again and again that she can't act in English or be in a good movie, shouldn't Paz Vega (from "Spanglish") be getting all her roles, and presenting along with Salma Hayek, instead of her? "Ray" wins for Best Sound Mixing.