that is a powerfully cheesy list Robert, nearly a clean sweep. I am trying to decide how many I still like as songs, as opposed to cliched icons, after all the weddings and proms I DJ'd over the years. "Always" and "Everytime You Go Away" hold up pretty well for me.

i still like "Hello". it's got a cool guitar solo in it.

and a good melody, I like Lionel's voice - good point

it was r&b before protools stepped in and spread that computer veneer over everything.

plus, the chick in the video was hot, hot, hot!

(sorry, we were supposed to be talkin about music here)

Superb list, Robert. Every song is a wretched piece of overwrought, mild-melting, yawn-inducing, station-changing shit. It you had included the oft-hated but often good Abba or The Carpenters, or included "Magnet and Steel" or "Precious and Few" -- which are cheesy but gloriously so -- it would have wiped out your integrity. Kudos on sticking to your guns. You made sure not one listenable song made the cut.

Love Stinks? You know, it might be a love song about kinky stuff....

You know, I debated for a good ten minutes whether to include The Carpenters in the list, but I just could not bring myself to do it. Although they definatley have a cheese factor, the songwriting was just too good. "Superstar" is a favorite of mine.

I like to listen to this list when my Viagra lasts over 4 hours. It saves me a trip to the doctors.

QUOTE: "i still like "Hello". it's got a cool guitar solo in it."

Yea, but that damn creepy clay bust of Lionel in the video just ruins any redeeming quality the song had for me...

;-)

frightening video - agreed

I sort of rethought Richie here

Richie kind of weirdly holds up, doesn't he?

Great list, Robert: the first thought I had when looking through it was, "There's no way I could sit through listening to all of these songs -- you couldn't pay me enough.

If there was an open window nearby, I'd find it."

OK, let me test the waters on this one. cheezy: 'Daydream Believer' by the Monkees. really hot: 'I'm a Believer' by the Monkees.

peaceloveguidance

Did we forget "Make it Real" by The Jets?

Oh yes. The Jets. I had blocked them out of my memory and you had to go and bring t hem back!

Eric, to answer comment #1, NONE of them were likeable as songs.

How fitting that almost evryone one of these songs was an '80's radio staple. When I look back twenty years, I think of the innovative and unique bands that were coming out, I keep forgetting how crappy the mainstream was.

I think "mainstream" tends to be chock full-o-crap no matter what decade it was from. And it only seems to be getting worse. Thank the Lord that each decade also has it's share of trerrific music.

You put a Chicago song first, and I'd like to say that just about any Chicago love song after Terry Kath's death and Peter Cetera's ascension to leadership of the band deserves a spot on this list.
But you've forgotten the ultimate cheesy Chicago love song, "If You Leave Me Now."

I'm going to ponder what other supercheese is worth adding.

I will restate that I love "Daydream Believer," "Everytime You Go Away" and like very much "Always." I also like a number of cheeses, though not cheese food

Oh... just came up with two infinitely cheesy love songs - both remakes, I think, though why anyone would remake either boggles the mind. When they were hits, I was working at a liquor store where the local soulless and beatless soft rock station (KOSI-101 - any radio station calling itelf "Cozy" is to be avoided) was required listening.

"Groovy Kind of Love" by Phil Collins
"Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler

Both are completely devoid of anything approaching class, or musical integrity.

I'm with you on those two, although I do like the original "Groovy"

This playlist violates the Geneva Conventions as an instrument of torture. This playlist violates the Fifth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution as a cruel and unusual punishment. This playlist smothers all light and tramples all life, leaving behind it a barren landscape of broken dreams and shattered hopes. This playlist could induce me to indulge in even more emphatic parallel-structured sentences if I don't exert a superhuman act of will and force myself to stop.

In brief: ow.

Station names like "lite", "magic", and "wish" should also set of warnings.

You've got it all wrong. A ''cheesy'' love song would be the ''I love you'' song on barney. some of them listed are not that great, I admit, but ''cheesy''? C'mon, what are we , in fourth grade? People have to be that immature to list songs they think are bad in a kindergarten way, when they actually are good, that's why you referred to them as pop hits?..yeah, people like them..at least people who are in love and aren't cold hearted or too embarrassed to admit they have feelings and have listened to them before. Hah, some people just crack me up, and whoever listed these, certainly did..Celine Dion's song is listed? Wow, OK, someone doesn't have common sense credibility, these people at least have some artistic credibility and at least have all their right minds! Oh man, I'm not gonna waste any more of my time discussing my views to jealous people who only wish to be famous but never made it. And yes, I know a thing or two about music, being a singer since I was little, and a songwriter, who happens to be very good and music is my life, so. Hope you catch me on TV so you can happily put my ''cheesy'' music on your list. C-YA, definitly don't wanna be ya!

I like this one...told you that I loved you, you said that is so good.
I called you my darling, I thought I always would.
But now you've gone and left me, I don't know what to do.
So my little darling, I write these words to you.

You dun stomped on my heart and you mashed that sucker flat.
You just sorta stomped on my aorta.
You started going out with guys. I felt us drift apart.
And every step you took was a stomp on my heart.

I only hope that someday, you get them low down blues.
In some smoky honky-tonk you'll look down at your shoes.
You'll think about that tender heart that you crushed beneath them soles.
With your cold busting stompers, you left my heart so full of holes.

You dun stomped on my heart and you mashed that sucker flat.
You just sorta stomped on my aorta.
You started going out with guys. I felt us drift apart.
And every step you took was a stomp on my heart.
And every step you took was a stomp on my heart.

Beautiful list, marred only by the conspicuous absence of "wind beneath my wings". nothing but an actual maple tree contains more syrrup than the line "have i ever told you you're my hero".

I'm not sure they qualify as "cheesy" but two that are back-handed slaps at women - but have been taken for love songs - are "Beth" by Kiss and "To all the Women I've Loved Before" by Willie Nelson and Engelbert H.


"Beth" is pretty much - "You're not the most important thing in my life - so deal with it."

"To all ..." is you're not the only one i screw around with but thanks for jumping on my celebrity jock.

He forgot Spandau Ballet's Cheesy masterpiece "True" which is well deserving to be on this list

This made the local news this morning on Arizona's biggest news show on channel 3 (which beats out even the Today show in ratings.) So congrats! You just got a lot of exposure, at least in Arizona! (Not sure why it took them three years to find this, however . . . )

What about Up Where We belong?