Guess what, it is that time of year to start dealing with your taxes. Know what else that means? Every yahoo in the world is going to tell you how to not pay your taxes... and about the crap you can write off. No biggie, I understand. I have this buddy though, let's call him Richard. Richard has what I call a 'shell business' where every year he claims about a $3,000 loss in business and writes off every single dinner he eats and saves all the receipts. That way, if he gets audited he has proof that these were business dinners. They weren't, and there is no business.

Problem is, Rich thinks (and probably rightly so) that the government isn't going to bother auditing a guy for a 3 grand refund. They haven't so far, and he is quite proud. Guess what I just figured out? Who is the asshole who has to cover that 3 grand the government isn't getting? Me! When Rich isn't paying his taxes he isn't screwing 'the man', he is screwing you and I who have to compensate.

So I ask you this, my friends. Please pay your taxes. Trust me, no one in the world out there is more ideologically opposed to where the money is going. With this shitbag administration my money would be better spent in a shredder. Regardless, taxes are part of society and the benefits and freedoms we have. So the next time your cube buddy tells you how he is writing off his his season tickets to the Cardinals because it is 'totally a deduction, bro', please just punch him in the nuts.

So do yourself a favor and learn from me. Don't wait until April, whether you are paying in or getting back. Why? If it is a refund you are expecting, you are allowing the Government to collect four more months of interest on your money. If you owe, well it is not like you were going to pay anyway... so you might as well at least get the filing done. Either way, I don't want to hear from you in April like it is a big surprise taxes are due.

In closing, I am not sitting in a glass house preaching as I wait for my refund check to show up. Turns out we owe 2 grand this year, shit.

* an amusing footnote to tax fun is that last year the IRS reported something like 50 million forms were prepared with Turbotax. Problem was, Turbotax only reported sales of about 15 million. Long story short: Yes, you may borrow my Turbotax.