Woolf's Long Hours: Virginia Woolf's Temporal Lobe
Published February 03, 2005
Say what you will, but it cannot have been easy to be Virginia Woolf, and having learned that she "suffered of fits" as the language goes, a thing I know a little something about, I find myself empathizing all the more.
In the film The Hours when Virginia Woolf runs out of her estate in the British suburb of Richmond where she is being confined due to illness by both husband and doctors, who though they wish her well, do not see nor understand the effect that confining a person to a house, away from the city she loves (London) and any social life save for the occasional sisterly visit can hardly be a good thing. As Woolf says, "I am attended by doctors wherever I go." As Woolf sickens of being confined, she runs out of the house to the train station where she sits on the platform. Leonard, soon realizing his wife is gone, turns up, furious and upset that Virginia has not only left the house without his permission, but more, that he did not know where she was. This last part is important because Virginia, as Leonard angrily shouts;
"You have a history! You have a history of fits, moods, black-outs, hearing voices... we brought you here to save you from the irrevocable damage you intended upon yourself. You've tried to kill yourself twice! I live daily with that threat."
One can't help but empathize with Leonard; he seems and no doubt, is, sincere in his grief and his frustration. All of Leonard's comments and symptoms would bear out the theory that Woolf was not simply, as has been put forth by so many, bi-polar or manic depressive, which may also have been true, but also epileptic - temporal lobe epileptic. Fits, seizures, as we call them today if we are being politically and medically correct - seizures are specific to epilepsy and the suicide attempts would likewise be common to a specific kind of epilepsy - temporal lobe epilepsy, which I've written about often before. The fact remains that Temporal Lobe Epileptics are thirty-five times more likely to commit suicide than the average person. More, "Because TLE is often mistaken for function psychiatric illness, patients may have been midiagnosed for years." (Temporal Lobe Epilepsy: Social and Psychological Considerations).
As our fictitious Woolf says to Leonard, "You live with the threat of my extinction, but it is my right - it is the right of every human being." She is alive, but only half so , talking herself into death because she can no longer take the "anesthetizing suburbs of Richmond" and if it is a choice between "Richmond and death, I choose death" she tells her husband.
- Woolf's Long Hours: Virginia Woolf's Temporal Lobe
- Published: February 03, 2005
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- Section: Video
- Writer: Sadi Ranson-Polizzotti
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i'm so sorry to hear about your father - in short, this may sound trite, but really, don't blame yourself. that won't help any and i'm sure it's not the case that you have done anything to reproach yourself for.
I'm glad you liked this piece so much; i also received a great many private emails about this (all positive, i'm pleased to say, as i was nervous posting this) and i pray this means that the perception is changing. For the record, epilepsy is not a mental illness - it's neurological, but what you say still bears out - the symptoms are not always visible, so you get less help than say someone with a broken leg, unless of course, you're seizing, in which case you're an "idiot who suffers of fits and froths at the mouth". Sad to say i have heard such things targeted at me in my life time -- how very sad and how ignorant. But onward... we cannot let others hold us back.
thanks for reading... and i wish you the very, very best...
sadi ranson-polizzotti
Wow. I really enjoyed that. It made me want to watch the movie again and learn more about her.
I have actually thought about this very topic a lot. (I have Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, too.) I am a big fan of Vincent Van Gogh. It annoys me when people say that he was crazy. Crazy? He was having complex partial seizures in a time when doctors were just starting to suspect that there was such a thing. He didn't have a great support system, really, either. People didn't appreciate his work while he was alive. So, as a person who has TLE, I am impressed that he accomplished what he did.
And then, as you mentioned, so many brilliant artists and religious figures have had TLE. I don't think it's a coincidence. Our brains work a little differently. And with the strangeness and the unpredictability and living a realer reality, being supersensitive, comes some genius, some brilliance.
If nobody had TLE, imagine the loss, throughout history, of art and culture. Average people aren't remembered forever. Unique people are.
Govinda, hi:
TLE is an interesting condition. IT doesn't guarantee greatness, anymore than being without TLE would guarantee greatness. I think that TLE allows you to, as you noted as well, to see things differently and perhaps that is a benefit. I've always seen it as such.
There are many drawbacks to TLE (like status epileptucs, which i've gone into several times in my life, which is scary because i don't want to die from my epilepsy....) but by and large, i've been grateful for it because it's helped my creativity as i see it and i couldn't do what i do without it, no more than many great artists could have done what they did without it, in my view as you say, Van Gogh being one of them and ironically, his sometime roommate, Gauguin being one of them (also had TLE, can you imagine the two of them sharing a small house! quelle horreur!)
Woolf had manic depression, which is supposedly verified. But Leondard Woolf said she had "fits" which was a term used for seizures, so assuming he is right (and he was her husband) then she had epilepsy. I've also read she had TLE so this is not from left field.
Many great people had TLE. For a full or partial, but good list, though it's by no means comprehensive it is a good start, try going to the the epilepsy museum
I'm glad this resonated with you and that you found it. I've written a lot about my own epilepsy on my own site as well; you can check by Archives in both poetry and articles at
tantmieux. There's a lot there about TLE. It's easier if you go to the Archives though - There ar Archives for every section, including Artices and Poetry and they are all in Alphabetical order.
Cheers, and be well,
Sadi
*Applauds*
I have TLE, as well.
I don't look at it as an illness.
Having just heard the phrase behind me, "Did you take your meds, dear?" I can sympathize. Currently, Topamax. I'm tolerating it rather well. It's not taking away the Geschwind's. It does seem to be helping take away the simple partial seizures. Yay for no more bad smells. I think I shall miss the bursts of music, though.
At the moment, it's adding its own trials, as my nose and chin are prickling unbearably. Yes, yes I did take my damnable meds. Thank you.
I'm off to scribble furiously in one of my countless ongoing journals and pray this curse of words never be lifted.
Thank you for your article. It's reminded me that I don't really want to be fully cured. I want to live my life my way, fully me. I just want to stop scaring the people who love me while I'm at it.
dear RyAnne:
I know what you mean about having TLE be part of who you are and still needin (the g key doesn't always work; bear with me) them to function in some reasonable way without having massive seizures.
most of my seizurs - the really bad complex partial ones - have stopped for the time bein, tho i know they will come back at some point. IT's just inevitable, alas. It was actually the topomax in my case that was causin my seizures... ack...
i know what you mean about the positive aspects of TLE tho -- the writing, the creativity, the energy at times, and for me - the joy i get from the sound of bells... small ecstatic seizures.
i've written a lot about epilepsy and some poems about epilepsy as wlel as articles. You can and might find it useful to visit my site at
the tant mieux project
i think you will find information there that is useful ... i hope so anyway... be well, and stay in touch.
sadi
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This is one of the best, most heart rending posts I have read in a long time.
My father in law was a brillaint man who back in India was one of the first founders of Steel mill unions and after retirement passed his bar exams. He always fought for the under dog.
Cancer however consumed his life and he fell into the dark hole of depression that he could never climb out of. He was suicidal and had been hospitalised for over a year till I got married.
We got him home and thats when I realized that I couldnt live with him day in and day out especially in advanced pregnancy.
My husband had been sent abroad and I left my father in law with a barrage of servants and fled the country.
Till today there are times when guilt eats me up for abandoning him despite the fact that I had barely known him for a couple of months and was suffering my own hormonal depression.
To some extent I can understand your frustrations. Mental problems are no different than their physical counterparts and yet we have more sympathy and patience for the bedridden than those who seem outwardly healthy.