What You Wanted
Published February 01, 2005
How to be what you want me to be.
What I wanted to be which is what
I saw in my head, quite likely unlike
anything you saw. In fact, now that
I think of it, I feel certain our visions
are divergent. That what you want
is one who never was me. So dark
and different, a real polar opposite,
it leaves one of us alone, without love,
or without what you offer, what I offer.
I am not what you want. At last, I saw it:
I do not want to be what you want.
I may be some of those things. Certainly
when I am gone, I will be what you want.
Yet now, love, I become what I want.
What I like, who I am, not an approximation
or a thing you may want, some cheap or false
copy that falls short. No. I am saturated - self.
Today a friend writes "Dear, you are lovelier than air."
and I fall to my knees with such gratitude.
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- What You Wanted
- Published: February 01, 2005
- Type:
- Section: Culture
- Writer: Sadi Ranson-Polizzotti
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Comments on this articleComments
Sadi, nice piece. Heartbreaking. I hope your despair is not as deep as it sounds. Here's a digital hug, babe.
~[[ ]]~
PS: one question - I've never understood why poets put line breaks where they DON'T contribute to the beat and breaths of the piece. Or should I assume you intended that?
best,
Shark
my favorite line:
...when I am gone, I will be what you want...
thanks shark (((back))) at you.
no, not as bad it sounds. perhaps i take poetic license too much. the line breaks should be abrupt here and awkward, a bit like spitting or coughing.... good that you caught that. this should be hard to read out loud, and that is part of the point; hard to swallow.
love love and all best to you.
s.
ain't that the way it always is, tho - when i am gone... etc.
back to interview here...am in the middle of interviewing musician for site here. should be pretty grand, i pray.
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Wow - two poems, one after the other - talk about synchronicity - and I think I seem to see some thematic resemblance.