It's like The Haunting, as in the Robert Wise masterpiece, and not the one about some pixels scare the shit outta Catherine Zeta Jones. Inanimate objects become terrifying, oppressive, looming large at the corners of the frame.

Still, for all these things White Noise does wonderfully, there's a few things that get on a fellas nerves. None of these have to do with Michael Keaton, who's a joy to behold, is what. If I was Michael Keaton I'd be feeling a tad pissed off at Quentin Tarantino right about now. "What the fuck, QT?", I'd be saying. "How come John Travolta appears in your flick and next thing anyone knows there's those John Woo pictures and fucking Battlefield Earth and all sortsa shit waiting once shooting stops? Wasn't I in Jackie Brown? What the hell do I get? A kick in the nuts and a shove towards Mutiplicity, most likely."

Hopefully what'll happen is White Noise'll initiate some sort of revival for this most underrated of actors. Didn't you see Pacific Heights? What the hells wrong with you people? He was Batman, for crying out loud, long before that American Psycho took to wearing the leather and the fancy belt.

White Noise also constitutes a stepping stone of sorts for Director Geoff Sax, or Geoffrey as the credits would have it. He's been flinging out excellent TV work over here in The United UK for a couple decades now, wrestling with subjects as varied as Shakespeare and Doctor Who. Far as I can tell, this is his first Hollywood feature, and what it appears to insinuate is that this fella knows how to point a camera or two.

However the hell, there are times when White Noise, which has been granted a Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card on account of the inherent creepiness of its subject matter (I mean come the fuck on, you could have Cynthia Rothrock starring as a kung-fu defence attorney, and it'd still freak the hell out of a fella, provided it had enough sound effects and so on on account of the "DEAD"), still manages to annoy a fella somewhat. For motherfucking example, plot canyons appear all the damn time, and characters are remarkably inconsistent when it comes to the old intelligence and "logic" and stuff; One minute they're drawing seemingly impossible links between the most minute pieces of information, the next they're taking half-an-hour of screentime to work out something so blindingly, frustratingly obvious that you've already worked it out fifteen minutes before they even consider starting to think about it.

There's also a sense that certain scenes or characters have been drastically trimmed, so moments which should knock you upside the teeth in a Usual Suspects-esque manner have you instead wondering about who the fuck was that / what the fuck was that / why the fuck is that? And so on.