Pride, Human Suffering, and Hope
Published January 15, 2005
One of the authors/journalists whose writing I value, and who has been a guidepost in my own creative journey, is Jug Suraiya. While his name might not have much meaning on these shores, he is a talented hack, publishing since the 1960s, a key member of India's cognoscenti, and possessing a rare sense of humor. His weekly column, Jugular Vein, in the Times Of India, is avidly awaited. I've blogged before on his pieces, such as an excellent one on freedom called 'Pinch This Column. His most recent column, addresses the challenges of providing aid to those who might not want it.
What's wrong with these people; how can they be so ungrateful? people ask about the tsunami victims who refused old clothes and food packets. How can someone who has lost everything not accept whatever is offered? I have an inkling of an answer. No, I've never been a refugee in the grievous sense of disaster victims. But I have been stranded, penniless, hungry and desperate, far from home, and I have some idea of what it means to be a refugee, even for a brief while.It happened in 1973. After working in Britain for 15 months, where we'd saved money for the trip, Bunny and I were travelling through Europe on a shoestring. In London, we'd booked our flight to India on a cut-price Syrian airline service from Munich. After six weeks in Europe - France, Switzerland, Italy, Austria - we got to Munich with the last of our money, ready to fly back to India. That's when we discovered that while we'd been travelling an Arab-Israeli war had taken place, knocking out of action the three aircraft that comprised the entire fleet of the Syrian airline. No other airline would accept our tickets, which we were told were non-refundable in Munich - we'd have to go back to London where we'd bought them to cash them in and buy fresh tickets on another airline.
We didn't have the money to get back to London, and RBI regulations wouldn't let our family in India buy our tickets and get us back home: Indians travelling to India from abroad had to pay in foreign exchange. I refused to accept a loan from my relatives in Britain; I'd got into this mess on my own and I'd get out on my own. We were stranded in Germany, then the most expensive country in the world, waiting for the Syrians to get airborne again. Funds running out, we'd scavenge through supermarkets for reject-quality chocolates, the cheapest food we could find. While Bunny slept, I'd open a packet to show I'd eaten, and when she woke give her both our shares. I fantasised about stealing food from the bursting supermarkets. Nothing fancy, a loaf of bread would do. It wasn't morality that stopped me, it was fear of being caught. I learnt that respect for the law is in direct proportion to how much - or little - we have in our pockets, or in our bellies.
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- Pride, Human Suffering, and Hope
- Published: January 15, 2005
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- Section: Culture
- Writer: Aaman Lamba
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Comments on this articleComments
It's an insightful post, and thank you for sharing it, Aaman. As donors, sometimes the act of giving is the point. It is not whether or not we "gave enough", but that we did reach out to help.
It is not necessary (although it may be puzzling) that the recipients accept with gratitude everything we send. And Suraiya's comments do a lot to explain why they may not.
Frankly, when I donate clothing I'm just happy to see it gone from the closet and off to somwhere it might be welcome. I don't worry too much about what will be done with it and assume the charity will sell it for rag paper if that's the best way to put it to use. The profit for me is getting rid of the stuff without having to worry about what's done with it.
As for taking money from relatives, I wonder if that's a cultural issue. If I were in the circumstance Aaman describes I'd take the money from my relatives. That's what family is for. If I had relatives in similar straits I wouldn't hesitate to give them the needed money either. That's what relatives do. It's the essence of family values. I suppose I would expect to be paid back eventually and would certainly pay back any relatives who bailed me out like that, but I wouldn't feel huge guilt over the situation either way.
Dave
Pride is an element particular to some. Incidentally, those are not my words in the blockquote, but Jug Suraiya's, in case there was any confusion on this point.
Dave, I know exactly what you mean! Sometimes, giving solves more problems than getting does.
After all the hype and poison of the US election contest, what a relief to have a genuine reason to agonize, sympathize and cheer heroics! (And, no, I don't mean I'm glad the tsunami happened, just glad to he subject changed.)
excellent post Aaman, lighting the situation from a different angle - very glad you and your family survived the crash!
I would have no problem borrowing or lending to relatives either - much better that than throwing myself on the mercy of the government!
Aaman, wonderful post.
I agree that pride is a strong emotion. People don't want to feel as if they can't take care of themselves although I don't quite understand the rationale behind not accepting a loan from relatives in England when the Arab/Isreali war was not this gents fault... would seem to be a lot better than going hungry in the streets of a foreign country... but then again, my grandparents refused to accept help from relatives after WWII and they certainly didn't start that conflict either.
Thanks for the links as well.
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The Indonesian government is acting foolishly, IMO, with regards to booting out foreign aid workers in March.
These people obviously need the help, and are mostly glad to receive it. But there are politics at play here. And people will suffer because of it...