THE BOTTOM 3

3. DARKNESS
Cliché-drenched, non-scary horror thrillers with creepy kids are bad enough. Cliché-drenched, non-scary horror thrillers with a non-sensical, dim storylines are absolutely dreadful.
2. THE BIG BOUNCE
Even getting to stare at Sara Foster's unquestionable beauty for 88 minutes (which felt interminable!) couldn't save this stale, half-assed, boring, half-baked "comic" caper remake.
1. SURVIVING CHRISTMAS
Good luck surviving this unfunny bit of trash. This is the kind of movie they should hand out merit badges to the three leaving audience members who sat through CHRISTMAS in October (one of whom was presumably James Gandolfini's mother). Ben Affleck's smarmy, self-aggrandizing, annoying, cutesy character may just be the real reason why the rest of the world hates us.

OTHER AWARDS

Guiltiest Pleasure (THE DAY AFTER TOMMORROW): I know the CGI wolves looked terrible and were pretty pointless. I know director Roland Emmerich made GODZILLA. I know the Dennis Quaid's trek was as realistic as that leprechaun who tells me to burn stuff. I know that Sela Ward's character's sub-plot was totally manipulative. But, what can I say? I...got...sucked...in. Guilty as charged.

Most Overrated Movie (NAPOLEON DYNAMITE): At the risk of taking heat on this (it is selling like hotcakes on DVD), I am not in love with Napoleon or his Liger. Yes, I laugh at these characters because, like P.T. Barnum's freak show, it's easy to point and chuckle. But this was less a film then a series of skits with emotionless vessels that left no impression, good, funny, or bad, on me.