Me, Irene, and a martini for luck. Pass me the dice!
Published January 11, 2005
Does it bother anyone that I am heterosexual and have more than a handful of gay and lesbian friends whom I love dearly and would defend? Guam is no stranger to homosexuals, many of whom are quite successful, and more importantly, are friends who love to shop, and although I will admit to this shallow sin, I will admit to nothing else that will expose me to unkind thoughts and sarcastic posts. There is nothing quite as thrilling as walking through a mall with a gay friend whose dramatic gestures and hyperbolic speech attract people, which of course, is the whole purpose for the exaggerated hip movement and the ever present, "whatever, girlfriend" retort. And did I mention the fabulous spending spree that is sure to follow?
In my tiny part of the world, there is an unspoken acceptance of gay people, most of whom have cute toy dogs, and some even languish at home with an exotic animal. I mean really, why would you keep a black panther in your home for no other reason than to inspire jealousy among your gay friends? Or how about a boa constrictor named Mo, which leads me to wonder where Mo sleeps....
If you think heterosexual relationships are complicated, they are, as I fondly recall a very upset male who couldn't understand why I wanted him to dress up as Little Bo Peep, complete with staff and stiletto heels (It was Halloween after all! But that's for another story.). Hang out with a gay couple and you will appreciate how "uncomplicated" your heterosexual relationship is and how pithy and immature your argument was the other night because wife found Playboy magazines buried beneath last year's summer wardrobe.
Which brings me to this: one can learn valuable lessons from one's lesbian/gay friends. It's all a matter of perspective, and who better to dish it out? Gay and lesbian couples are masters at playing mind games, and suspicion and jealousy are part of the accoutrement, and let's face it — they play it with style.
If I had the energy, I would create a Guys and Gals and Everything In-Between Monopoly-like board game for gays and lesbians, but instead of buying up Park Avenue, players would have to survive a gay/lesbian relationship while still having a life and keeping their sanity. Yes, you can "divorce" your partner, but you would have to pay a penalty to do so, which would be depressing for the person who only has a couple hundred left and has to endure his current love. Oh well, in the game of life, is it really any different?
My game would have yellow, pink, and blue punch-out figures with accessories and the coolest game board complete with penis and vagina dice, martinis, margaritas, and gold silk underwear. Maria, another martini!
- Me, Irene, and a martini for luck. Pass me the dice!
- Published: January 11, 2005
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- Section: Culture
- Filed Under: Books: Arts
- Writer: Sapere Aude
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Hmmm, are there gay people who still do the exaggerated hip movements and say 'whatever girlfriend' for attention? I've only come across one gay person like that since the 80's.
My partner and I have been together for almost 19 years. Our relationship is about as uncomplicated as it can get. We know more than a few gay couples as well, and while some of them have complicated relationships, I'd have to say the frequency isn't any higher than in heterosexual relationships.
What is different (that I've noticed) about our relationships are the dynamics. But that doesn't necessarily mean complicated. Heterosexuals are very role oriented, most (but not all of course) think that anything that falls out of specific roles causes problems (one role example is mother=nurturer, father=disciplinarian), yet many of them find that when life doesn't deal them these specific roles, for the most part things still turn out good.
Homosexual relationships on the other hand, have no roles going into the relationship (for the most part), although a few, if they do have roles, tend to emulate the only 'model' they know and emulate straight relationships.
I was engaged to be married twice when I was younger. I've been in more than a few gay relationships in my life too. I've known dozens of gay couples. The only two relationships I've ever known that was hampered by suspicion and jealousy was one of the heterosexual engagements I had, and a hetero relationship of a friend.
I've never come across an article that 'praises' something because it's perceived to be filled with complication, suspicion, jealousy (within the relationship and with the panther), and mind games.
players would have to survive a gay/lesbian relationship while still having a life
Huh? Maybe that's the problem with your friends. If they perceive having a relationship as interfering with 'having a life' then no wonder they have complications. My relationship, my family IS my life and I wouldn't have it any other way.
yes but Steve, you don't live on Guam (smile)
19 years as a Nancy...I seriously doubt you know anything about hetrosexual relationships.
response A would be:
then you all wouldn't know anything about homosexual relationships.
response B would be:
I know about the ones I was in, and the ones around me. All relationships are unique. No two are comparable.
(and it hasn't been 19 years, it's been 40 near the middle of the road)
What makes you think I want to know anything about homosexual relationships? Yes all relationships are unique. It just that homosexual relationships confuse the gender roles. Big hairy men acting like little girls...you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
What makes you think I want to know anything about homosexual relationships?
Um, this blog is about homosexual relationships. And you keep coming here.
Big hairy men acting like little girls...you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
I'm tall, but I'm not big and I'm not hairy and I don't act like a little girl and I have nothing to be ashamed of.
Isn't a Queen supposed to be a Blue Blood?
Relax. Ever heard the phrase "live and let live"?
if someone is homosexual, it does me no harm (in fact if they're a bloke, it marginally ups my chances of getting a girlfriend as it means one less in the competition) so why should i care?
of course, i find drama queens annoying, whether gay or straight, guy or gal. But that's a whole different issue...
Wow. I'm gay and from Guam and I found this article incredibly condescending.
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Guam, who would have imagined? Actually, we spent several hours at the Guam airport on the way to Australia in '00 - it was very damp. Thanks and welcome Sapere!