The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim vs. the Stuttering Blowhards
Published January 10, 2005
The Bad Idea Bears
I know I'm merely the 342,139,243rd person to point this out, but the Anaheim Angels' new official name — the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim — is a home run in senselessness.
The city of Anaheim, which has a charter with the team formerly known as the Anaheim Angels, filed a TRO to enjoin this change, but a superior court just denied the request, which pretty much means the new name is official.
This change makes as much sense as a solar-powered flashlight or www.amish.com.
I can't think of any other professional team with two cities in its name. Even worse, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim will be playing in Anaheim, not Los Angeles. (For those not familiar with California geography: if you live in downtown LA, you'd have to drive over an hour to get to Anaheim, which is in Orange County, which is at least several thousand plastic surgeons away.)
What next, the Waco Cowboys of Dallas?
Is BALCO supplying owners with "crack cream" now?
In terms of rankings in the bad idea department, this reminds me of Mayor Guiliani's decision, after the World Trade Center was first attacked in 1993, to build a new Emergency Operations Center in New York ... on the 23rd floor of the World Trade Center ... which didn't help much on September 11, 2001.
Okay, maybe not that bad.
But it's certainly as bad as Ford Motor Company's decision to sell the Pinto in Brazil without first learning that the word "Pinto" is slang in Portuguese for "tiny male genitalia."
Speaking of translation problems: not only does "The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim" not make sense in English, it makes even less sense in Spanish — or as our President would say, in Mexican.
When translated to Spanish, the new team is "The The Angels Angels of Anaheim." This name is especially hazardous to a bilingual baseball fan with a stuttering problem.
Undoubtedly, we can add "The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim" to the list of astronomically stupid baseball team names:
(Of course, most of these teams were in the minor leagues and no longer exist. But in case you doubt the authenticity of these names, start here.)
Not that any of this matters, but seriously, whose idea was this?
Are these decision-makers the same ones who decided to get rid of the smell of gasoline fumes by lighting candles? Or the ones who think innuendo is an Italian suppository?
Stop the madness.
Unleash the Los Angeles Rally Monkey of Anaheim!
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Coming up next week: stupid basketball team names.
(Quick! Name one Utah jazz musician!)
- The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim vs. the Stuttering Blowhards
- Published: January 10, 2005
- Type:
- Section: Sports
- Filed Under: Politics: Law and Rights, Culture: Humor and Satire
- Writer: Junichi Semitsu
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Comments on this articleComments
When translated "from" Spanish.
It is stupid. Just to hit a bigger market - well fine. But you've just pissed off a whole city who only two years ago were VERY VERY proud of their world champion team.
I like your phrase "a home run in senselessness" But it hit the foul pole on the way out.
I am also amused by the "The The Angels of Anaheim" as I think are many Los Angelenos.
But I guess the people involved in the name construction thought that people wouldn't notice since I guess we are also not to notice geographical problems (like the difference between Orange County and Los Angeles County).
I would make one correction. Padres refers specifically to the Spanish missionaries so I believe the most accurate translation would be "San Diego Fathers" (as in a Catholic Father).
Correction: The The Angels Angels of Anaheim" for the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.
So stupid, it's hard to repeat.
I think it's a brilliant way to reach increase market penetration. In fact, I think the Red Sox should change their name to the Los Angeles Red Sox of Boston. The New York Jets and New York Giants both play in New Jersey. Why not?
"The New York Yankees of Hell" - for some reason that one sounds better. This story is a bizarre exercise in blatant geographical scrote-licking. Thanks Junichi, nice to see you around!
When Major League Baseball gave Southern California a second team is was given to L.A. not Anaheim. When the Rams played in Anaheim they were known as the L.A. Rams. The arguement against the name is stupid and the ANgels can be called whatever name they want they are still the fastest growing baseball team by the economic standpoint
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim is just plain stupid. They should never have tampered with the name. California Angels was good enough. Too bad the Autry family didn't keep the team after Gene died.
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I had no idea that was happening with the Angels. I wonder why in God's name they made the change?
In comparison, all of the minor league names you mentioned are kind of cool. There was something of a fad a few years back of hats and jerseys with funny/bizarre minor league names (one was something to the effect of the San Juan Sand Devils, which was pretty cool).
Eric Berlin
Dumpster Bust: Miracles from Mind Trash