Scene: The year 2014, in the Great Republic of Jesusland. An adorable redheaded 30-year-old wakes up and goes to the bathroom. She brushes her teeth with Immaculate Conception whitening toothpaste, and sleepily, out of habit, moves to put her used tampon in the garbage can. She then realizes her near-error. "Whew. A class 1 misdemeanor is not a good way to start the day!" As she places the tampon in the government-approved pregnancy hormone-sensing disposal unit, it starts flashing. The girl has never seen this happen before. She stares in amazement at the unit, until we hear a phone ringing in the background. She runs to pick it up. "Is this Ms. X? This is the sheriff's office. We'll be right over to bring you down for questioning."

My friend Heather sent me a link yesterday...some knitters are planning to make hundreds of the uterus pattern from the latest issue of Knitty and dump them on the steps of the Supreme Court. They're calling it Wombs on Washington. Quoth the project's founders:

Some of my friends and I were talking about the possibility of Scalia as the new chief justice of the supreme(ly conservative) court, and my only response was: "I may as well cut out my womb and leave it on the steps of the Supreme Court."

Might as well. It's the equivalent of sending your body to juvenile detention. If you can't see your old crack dealer friends (bleed every month), you're less likely to hang out with them and get in trouble (chance an accidental miscarriage and a misdemeanor on your record).

I've said it before, I'll say it again. Hellooo, Handmaid's Tale!