Stop the presses. Paris Hilton, she of richer-than-you-or-I-will-ever-be-heritage and naughty naughty sex videos and exploitive and insipid reality television has finally been brought to justice.

Well, maybe not. But she has been banned by Lloyd Grove's Lowdown column in New York Daily News. After one last tell-all run-down of vapid debauchery, that is.

Grove runs down a litany of Hilton offenses against nature and society, all of which were, of course, chronicled by Lowdown at one time or another. But no more! he says. Among the crimes:

- She doesn't strain credulity, she herniates it
- She's proud to be snobbish
- She's a bad tipper
- She has distressing taste in men

The horror! The best quote I have read in some time comes from the multi-talented actor/author/director Stephen Fry, one of my all-time favorite writers:

Being Paris "takes a startling vanity, an enormous lack of selfknowledge and a huge amount of greed and desire."

But isn't that the fuel that makes gossip columns like Lowdown go?

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