The über-WiFi application is here, the mother of all things WiFi: the personal wireless EKG monitor.

You wear it around your neck like a lucky charm, 'cause it might turn out to be just that.

When you flatline, the news goes right to the 24/7 surveillance center, where the person who's supposed to be watching the screen is out getting a bag of Doritos from the vending machine down the hall.

By the time he returns, it's over.

That's because it's about five minutes from cardiac arrest until you're brain-dead.

Just the thing for the aging mega-mogul who's got everything and wakes up every morning wondering, "Is this my last day?"

John Kluge, Rupert Murdoch, Sumner Redstone et al, you need to get on the horn to Welch Allyn or the University of Ulster (Ireland), where the thing was invented, and order yours instanter.

Better hurry, though.

It's always fascinated me that all the billions of dollars in the world can't buy you one extra heartbeat.

There's a lesson there somewhere.

[via redferret and ubergizmo]