Pop Ten Suck This List, 2004

Written by Melisande Luna
Published December 18, 2004
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And stop agreeing with me, you assholes!

Listless, inarticulate, repetitious, and unempirical rants aside, this year's potential for shitlist bliss is boggling, and thank the anonymous deity of personal choice that some pioneering Top-Ten visionary set the standard limit of list items at ten, because the Vegaslike smorgesorgy of skank ho beotches waiting to be list smacked already confuses The Melisande; add that confusion to the stress and strain of having to manipulate quantities comprised of numerals not centered around the good old Roman multiples of ten thingie and I'd roll over like Bohr's oval rover, *SNAP* which, judging from my last nervous breakdown, probably would send me into a chronic state of convulsive brainpain — emphasis on the chronic — to which I'd likely react by retreating into a broken Utopian state of Stoned Slackerdom, elements of which include flannel, Doritos, horizontality, Thorazine, and at least one remote control.

But not this time, OGs, cuz Homie don't wanna play that game no mo, I'm fully gonna let you thugs compile tha dopest drama momma disyou lists — and they best be ten items or less express, too, yo — and be contemporaneously dishin' tissues on timely issues, pimpin 2004, without resorting to being so totally yesterday, or something, you know, and I'll -uh- get right on reading those blogs, fo' shizzle, dudes, or um, . . . like, totally later, after this phat rerun of Futurama is over . . . and stuff.

Now, fuck off — or, "gag me with a spoon," rather, and put ice cream on it — I've got top ten lists to slack.

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Pop Ten Suck This List, 2004
Published: December 18, 2004
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Section: Culture
Filed Under: Culture: Humor and Satire, Culture: Media
Writer: Melisande Luna
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#1 — December 19, 2004 @ 15:22PM — Al Barger [URL]

On the one hand, I'll give you that this essay is well written. You have some nicely turned phrases.

The content of it, however, is way lacking. This strikes me as merely an unearned expression of broad contempt for basically everybody and every damned thing.

Not to be unfriendly, but this kind of thing bristles. It smacks of Ben Folds classic invocation of "unearned unhappiness." It makes one want to ask, "Who the hell are you to look down your nose at everyone and everything?"

Friendly suggestion: try picking out something much more specific to object to, and then give specific objections as to why you're not buying.

#2 — December 20, 2004 @ 07:05AM — Melisande [URL]

Marrying the stereotypical
Cynical Gen Xer 'tude with a stunning lack of content was intended to convey the underlying sociocultural ills related with pop culture.

That said, thank you very much for your time, effort and honest critique. I sincerely appreciate the input and the read.

I don't know about that whole nose-looking-down on everything thing though, I included a number of self-effasive remarks to convey the tongue-in-cheek nature of my post.

Ben Folds might be down with Capitan Kirk, but it will be a cold day on Omicron-Perseii 8 when you hear me say, "Dudes, William Shattner ROCKS!"

Now, Spock is a different story.

:)

ML

*energize*



#3 — December 21, 2004 @ 00:45AM — Al Barger [URL]

I'll grant you that Ben Folds' interest in Captain Kirk may be more a perverse emotional indulgence than a visionary artistic pairing.

#4 — December 21, 2004 @ 00:55AM — Eric Berlin [URL]

The best connection between Star Trek and music I've ever heard (aside from Mr. Shatner's foray into lounge history) is a song called "William Shatner" by Long Island, New York-based ska band The Scofflaws.

Oh, was that off topic?

#5 — December 21, 2004 @ 01:33AM — HW Saxton

Following in the off-topic mode here.The
coolest Star Trek/Pop Music connection I
can think of is the late great SF garage
band "The Mummies".

They did a song called "Doin' The Kirk"
on their 1st or 2nd LP back in the early
90's. A dance floor stomper about Capt.
James Kirk,man just how cool is that ???

#6 — December 21, 2004 @ 02:08AM — Al Barger [URL]

I heard (or just pretended) that in order to make 2005 suck less, Miss Melisande is considering starring in a Women of Blogcritics calender.

#7 — December 21, 2004 @ 03:27AM — Melisande [URL]

I'm sorry, was there actually a topic to stray from here? My bad.

Al, the Melisande only poses sidereal. Grr.



#8 — December 21, 2004 @ 07:34AM — andy marsh [URL]

My turn to get off topic...what exactly is ska? I've seen this twice now and I can't figure it out. Guess I really am an idiot!

#9 — December 21, 2004 @ 07:44AM — Mark Saleski [URL]

i like to think of ska as reggae on too much (or maybe just enough) coffee.

fast reggae is maybe a cheap description, but you get the idea.

#10 — December 21, 2004 @ 09:33AM — andy marsh [URL]

Thanks Mark.

#11 — December 21, 2004 @ 10:00AM — Shark

Ms Luna,

I love you.

And disregard Al's complaints; he doesn't know enough to loathe everyone and everything.

Not yet, anyway.

xxoo
Shark

PS: Do I know you? You sound damn familiar.

"but that my kingdom had one neck so I could behead them all with a single blow..." --- Caligula (Shark's hero when it comes to culture critics)



Shark's Top Ten

#12 — December 21, 2004 @ 12:28PM — Eric Berlin [URL]

I believe that ska actually developed from Calypso music in the Caribbean. It then matured into "rock steady" for a while, but really became "noticed" (in the US, at least) when English bands like The Specials mixed in just enough rock sounds to give us the modern ska sound.

The music itself is a little hard to describe, though Andy did a game job of it. Ska relies on a staccato off-beat guitar rhythm for its signature sound. Think of a pick strumming a guitar: usually you get a down-strum sound and an up-strum sound, right? Now, with ska, on the down-strum sound, instead of letting all the sound ring forth from the strings, the left hand (whose fingers created the notes or chord: and with ska you get a LOT of chords) mutes the strings so you get a THWACK sound instead of an ordinary ringing sound. Then, on the up-stroke the full sound is let out.

Therefore, ska produces a thwack-chord thwack-chord thwack-chord sound, with the chords always filling up the off-beats.

A great example of this sound can be heard on The Specials' "A Message for You, Rudy," also one of the all-time classic ska songs.

I'll have to elevate this post to a full-fledged article at some point. Hope that does a little bit of a job explaining ska.

Eric Berlin
Dumpster Bust: Miracles from Mind Trash
http://dumpsterbust.blogspot.com

#13 — December 21, 2004 @ 13:55PM — Melisande [URL]

I prefer Propaghandi's version of Rudy's Message in their timeless classic, Ska Sucks!

Sharky, I don't believe we've had the pleasure. But I like your style. *grin*

Paradigm shift in t-10, 9, 8 . . .

The funny thing about the internet is that when one desires knowledge on a subject, like ska for instance, there's this nifty little utility called "google." But, alas, it is often easier to burden others for information than it is to type "ska" and click "search."

God Bless America! Would you like fries with that?




#14 — December 21, 2004 @ 14:03PM — Eric Berlin [URL]

Melisande,

There's also a nifty invention called "message board" where people interact, share information, and learn from one another.

Aha! We seem to be in one right now...

#15 — December 21, 2004 @ 14:36PM — Melisande [URL]

OK, if you enjoy leisure time typing out explainations to googlephobes, who am I to say how you spend your dime?

By the way, I enjoyed your knowledgable expansion on the topic and anticipate reading your upcoming essay.



#16 — December 30, 2004 @ 17:27PM — Purple Tigress [URL]

By Bonsai Buckaroo, you mean a vaquero engaged in the cultivation of dwarfed or artistically trained and shaped plants?

The difference between a battle cry and a horticultural pursuit is in a vowel and a consonant.

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