Kobe Bryant: King Of The Assholes
Published December 14, 2004
Is there any bigger asshole than Kobe Bryant? This guy has to take the cake. Let's recap:
He goes off and shags some 19 year old opportunist at a spa in Colorado.
He pays off his wife in diamonds to apologize for his indiscretion, proving that love may not be able to be bought, but avoiding a costly divorce can be.
He avoids a potentially devastating criminal case surrounding a situation that appears less than clear cut either way.
He then shits all over his long time teammate Shaquille O'Neal. He takes every interview possible to let us know what a selfish piece of shit he thinks Shaq is. Oh yeah, Shaq supported the living daylights out of this ingrate while he was still probably cleaning some of the 19 year old off of himself.
He forces the Lakers to dispatch Shaq to parts unknown, also known as Miami. He also makes enough of impression on Phil Jackson to convince Phil that the last place he'd want to be is on the bench coaching the Lakers.
He now takes more shots than a drunk at a Dollar Vodka Night to make up for the loss of Shaq.
Now he's accusing Karl Malone of making passes at Kobe's wife. Malone also was a Kobe supporter during Kobe's darker days in '03. Shouldn't Vanessa Bryant get a shot to knock boots with one of Kobe's teammates? Kobe's outrage is really genuine, considering his obvious respect for the institution of marriage. Even Neon Deion is saying that Kobe is a piece of garbage. You know its bad when "Primetime" piles on.
Kobe seems so clueless. He has a chance to slip back into relative obscurity, as much as a superstar basketball player can. He could at least get himself off of the cover of every supermarket tabloid. But he opts to remain in the spotlight, and burn every possible bridge while making certain that no one else will ever want to come to a team that employs Bryant.
Kobe is a great example of a manchild who should have given college a chance before taking his ridiculous talents right to the NBA. College wouldn't have helped his game; it would have helped his maturity.
Here's hoping Kobe gets everything coming to him...and then some.
- Kobe Bryant: King Of The Assholes
- Published: December 14, 2004
- Type:
- Section: Sports
- Writer: Matt Freelove
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Comments on this articleComments
"Then he admits, in the process of defending himself against the rape charge, that he has a steady girlfriend on the side"
Ooo! I'd never heard of this before. Please gimme a cite, bhw! :)
The Smoking Gun published the entire transcript. He told the police about the other woman when defending his particular style of having sex, to show that it wasn't forced but that it's just what he does.
There were a few "juicy" details....
So, he normally bends a chick over a chair before having rough intercourse?
Jesus...
Well, he contends that the entire situation is/was consensual. And also that he likes to, euphemistically speaking, release his tensions on the woman's face. He didn't do that in the alleged rape case, but he asked. So that was part of his defense, that he asked about that one thing and she said no, so he didn't do it.
not only an A-1 puckered asshole staring out at the world through a hole in the back of his pants, but the guy has become LESS mature as he has "aged"
At only 19, LeBron James is everything as a player and, apparently, a person that cum-face Kobe is not
and great job Matt
Eric--I agree. Lebron clearly has a ton more maturity than Kobe. He's a goddamn embarrassment.
>>but the guy has become LESS mature as he has "aged"
Ding Ding Ding. I used to respect the hell out of this guy whn ehe first go rtin the league. He had bearing. He had it all - now he's a Jerry Springer circus with money and a sleazy reputation.
Where's the class?
PS - Nothing wrong with bending and chairs. Just saying's all.
Last year, it seemed like it was all the rage among announcers to use the word "facializing" to describe a exceptionally agressive move to the basket. I haven't heard it used that much this year.
Coincidence? I think not!
I want to now what kind of music Kobe Bryant listen and is the rapper or...
Yo fuck all y'all Kobe hatters he's one of the best things to happen to basketball you fucking hatters so suck his and my dick ya dig fuck all y'all assholes how about that dick eaters.
Hey King Kobe... What are basketball hatters? I need to get me one of those. I've never seen one, but they must be the latest rage.
You're obvious lack of intelligence in the way you write effects your impression of a man who is a complete jackass.
Did you read all of the things this guy has done? How about the way he ratted out Shaq the second he was apprehended? I cannot fathom how you could possibly defend a man like this. This, along with your spelling simply makes zero sense.
ur all idiots.. kobes awesome
81!
"kb24 fans all over"
this article is just showing your fear of Kobe and the power he's gained. your trying to bring someone down to make yourself look better. its cool tho...cause KB24 will let the haters hate and watch the money pile up
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Hilarious title, fun post to read. As you point out, not matter what did or didn't happen in Eagle, Colorado, Kobe is clearly guilty of being an asshole.
And he definitely has to keep his wife happy: he supposedly defied his parents' recommendation and didn't sign a prenup. So a $4 million ring is peanuts compared to what his wife would receive in a divorce settlement.
I bet it sure feels good to be her: first he cheats on you and gets accused of rape. Then he admits, in the process of defending himself against the rape charge, that he has a steady girlfriend on the side. And then he starts paying you off to keep you from divorcing him. Nothing screams "I reeeeely want to be with you" like all that.