Thus, the use of the helio-coat.

It looks like a standard coat (both trench- and windbreaker styles offered) until a string is pulled, at which point pressurized canisters of helium fill balloons hidden within. The terrorist then rises up to ten feet in the air, height of ascent varying by body weight, and is carried off by the wind to wreak self-righteous havoc another day.

Vitiligo Pill

Vitiligo is a pigmentation disorder in which melanocytes (the cells that make pigment) in the skin are destroyed. As a result, white patches of skin appear on different parts of the body.

Through research, causal antibodies have been isolated and a pill has been developed which destroys melanocytes more quickly and effectively than any natural disease ever could.

Reportedly, a small supply of these pills have fallen into terrorists' hands so those of Arabic descent will soon appear as white as any white American thus guaranteeing they will avoid suspicion or detection until it is too late.

Fem-bots

An army of these human-looking female robots have reportedly been developed in both Iran and North Korea. Each is powered by a small amount of weapons grade uranium which, when combined with internal explosives, allows them to be a walking "dirty bomb".

Terrorist groups have allegedly smuggled fem-bots into the U.S. just in time for the Christmas season. Dressed in traditional Middle Eastern garb, covered from head to foot, these diabolic creations will enter crowded shopping malls and the only indication one is about to self-detonate is when it speaks the phrase, "I look so janky. I wanna be fly. Which way to The Gap?"

Electro-Retrogressor Gun

One zap of this gun will turn the mind of an adult into that of a seven-year old child.

Actually inspired by the TV show Get Smart! and developed by French scientists in the early 1980s, both out of love of scientific pursuit and Jerry Lewis films, it allegedly has already been used once within U.S. borders.

While the incident has widely gone unreported, due to a media blackout, a lone terrorist managed to infiltrate Camp David during a retreat attended by President Bush and key cabinet members several years ago. All in attendance were shot with the electro-retrogressor gun. It may be worth noting that Colin Powell was not at that particular retreat.