You too could own these!

Check this out. I was cruising the mall doing some Christmas shopping the other day and came across this display in a store window. They must have had 10 different pairs that looked at least as terrible as this. I walked by thinking, "Wow, someone would pay to have their jeans pre-destroyed". I kept walking. Then, inspiration struck and I knew that you, my reader, needed me. My curiosity was peaked as I began to wonder how much they cost.

Probably about $20, I figured. That is how much I spend on each pair of jeans. I used to be loyal to Levi's, but they are tough to find these days. Now that everyone and their mother makes jeans... any clothing store in America will get you a good set of new jeans for $20-ish. Just about a month ago I had to retire a very loyal set of jeans, because they looked like that above.

Surely no one would dress like that if they weren't painting a house. Surely no one would pay extra for jeans that looked like that, right? Right?

Wrongo, spaz! Before we get to the price, because it is clear that is the apex of our story... lemme give you the product tag line verbatim

100% cotton, hand drawn artwork, unique handcrafted destruction details on every pair, Vintage Abercrombie Wash, Boot Fit, Imported

So how much are they? $100. Yup, one hundred simoleans. As soon as I got home I fished out those retired jeans. I hadn't really thrown them away, just hid them from my wife. I began to look trough my disgusting, tattered, nearly destroyed wardrobe and realized... Holy Shit! I am gonna be rich. Someone out there please tell the Abercrombie people to call me, they won't answer mine.