I'd add Fatboy Slim's new version of "The Joker." A truly awful version of a ho-hum song.

I appreciate that these are all relatively new. If you go back to the 50's & 60's up until today, I'm sure you could find about 10,000 really pointless covers. None of us have that kind of time though, do we? So howcum these artists have time to record & release this stuff? Don't they have producers/managers to catch them before they do something stupid (and I don't mean the Sinatra song!).

Oh, and I believe that Michael Bolton is actually a no-talent ass-clown.

I love Office Space

(heh, moved this comment)

Oh, man, did you have to remind me of Madonna's cover of "American Pie"? That was just wretchedly wretched. It's like urinating on grandma's best linens.

That said, I kinda like UB40's stuff. Now, if you want to hear something BAD, you need to check out Neil Diamond's live CD in which he attempts to sing his "Red, Red Wine" song in the reggae style of UB40.

Ouch.

I could not agree more regarding Ms. Crow's unfortunate decision to butcher this wonderful G&R tune. While Ms. Crow is an absolute hottie to the nth degree, and as fine as the freshly driven snow, she has no business taking on the rock, and her choice and delivery of covers is as abysmal as her choice of old square boyfriends like that stiff Eric Clapton. Let's not forget this man sold his soul to the devil. Also, kudos on the Lenny Kravitz choice. He has the magical ability of making any song he produces sound like a cover version, and by the way turning any thing he touches into crap. This is what happens when models are given guitars. Ugly people just rock out better. Especially butt ugly people. That is why I feel god cursed me not only once, but twice. He spared me of good looks AND talent!

very fine choices well-explained, but I beg a couple of differs: I can't figure out where all this animosity toward Lenny Kravitz comes from. I think he pretty amazingly versatile and great. I am not a particular fan of "American Woman," however but who else in the last 20 combines rock, soul and funk better? (one could reasonably say Living Colour, but Lenny writes better tunes).

Moving on, I also like UB40 an awful lot, and their covers of "Red Red Wine" "Can't Help Falling" and most especially "Kingston Town" are creative and pretty great.

I agree with the rest, though. That Duran Duran cover album is particularly horrifying and I am a Duran Duran fan.

check out this fascinating reference source

yea, i heard that version of "Imagine".

dead.

who else in the last 20 combines rock, soul and funk better?

Fishbone.

The Honorable Mr. O:
Mr. Kravitz deserves our derision for, but not only for, his abhorrent television commercials where he parades around in overpriced clothing that can be bought at any mall, but we all know is only worn by those lacking in flair and taste. As to your question, I would proffer to you: The Roots, Ben Harper (sometimes), Fishbone, Black Eyed Peas, G.Love, Macy Gray. I am of course talking out of school here. Now, if this conversation turns around to cold hard metal, I shall take some but not all to school. I await your b#*$h slap, sir.

brick's just jealous because Kravitz had his way with Lisa Bonet.

Mark and Brick, fine choices all, but not a whole lot of rock going on other than Fishbone, which would be th eperfect fit, but I must sadly shake my head and declare one of the greatest let-downs of the last 25 years. They had one great album (EP, actually), their first, and an occasional song here and there, but a classic case of talent wasted for lack of material, and the longer they went, the worse the material got.

I loved those guys when they were teenagers rocking the Lighthouse in Hermosa Beach, have spent time talking to all of them, very cool guys, but the further they got away from ska, the worse they got. Ska was their spiritual and musical center and they turned their back on it to catastrophic result.

Harper is more alt-folk than anything, Macy is alt-soul, Roots are orgainic hip-hop, the Peas are soul, pop and hip-hop, G. Love is bluesy funk and hip-hop.

Lenny is as soulful as them all and an infintely better rocker.

Mark,
I had forgotten about that. It was lost to me in the inhalant/cheep bear/traumatic falls induced fog of what now passes as my current reality. But thank you. No, really. Now, would anybody like to place this red hot poker into me? Or perhaps tell me Bruce Dickinson has once again left Iron Maiden? *chest heaves*, *tear falls onto limited edition, picture vinyl copy of Dio's "Holy Diver"*

she has no business taking on the rock, and her choice and delivery of covers is as abysmal as her choice of old square boyfriends like that stiff Eric Clapton

Funny, because at that time I was thinking "The heck is Clapton doing dating somebody like Sheryl Crow? Geez, man, where's your taste?" ;)

Clapton is old, fat and aritistically and personally slack - Crow is not. What happened to Lance Armstrong?

dunno E, Truth and Soul is pretty fine (especially the song "Bonin' in the Boneyard")

and The Reality of My Surroundings is great from start to finish.

i saw them open for Primus one time...they killed.

Mr. Clapton was splendily hirsute and tastily cracking it in the Yardbirds and Cream, but alas, he deserves nothing but our loathing and scorn for unleashing that virulent virus on the world, known as "Tears in Heaven".

I agree with most of the choices here Brian (I haven't heard the Duran Duran, but just thinking about such a thing makes my head hurt!)...however, I wanted to stick up for the Crow Sweet Child O' Mine! It's certainly not one of her better recordings (that would be "Leaving Last Vegas", "Strong Enough", or pretty much anything on the self-titled album, which is a masterpiece!)

Obviously, this is purely a matter of taste, but I also love Appetite for Destruction, and I'm 30, so I like to think that I'd be perfectly positioned by history to resent this version if it were truly as horrible as you say! Still, I don't find it "bland" at all, and I really like the way she "Crowed" the "where do we go now?" finale. She really makes the song her own. And I guess that might be what you're objecting to, if you think her appeal is merely decorative. I happen to think she's the most talented (the only?) mega-pop star of our time!
(who else is there--the rest of the chart-toppers are all goddamn faux-r&b starlets?) She's not Sleater-Kinney, of course, but S&K don't get on the radio!

Dave

Mark, those ARE the post-debut highlights (although I see Reality as spottier than you do) and absolutely, they have always been a great live band with loads of personality, hence my heightened disappointment with their material.

Bricky, Clapton has been wildly up and down with his solo career, I like some of it quite a bit. But it is as if he mutated into a different species after the two years on heroin after Layla - he's NEVER been the same since

Reaching back just a bit, Linda Rondstadt should get some kind of lifetime dis-achievement in covers award for desecrating so many fine artists, such as Buddy Holly and Warren Zevon. Personally, I'd probably go with her abomination of "Alison" as a special award winning stinker.

dang, i really like her version of "Allison".

And, he certainly wasn't GOD! That title would surely go to one of the six string slingers in the aforementioned Maiden. Or Judas Priest. Or maybe Greg Ginn. Nobody rocked harder than Greg Ginn. Except for you know who.

I always had an aversion to that old trib Clapton. Even as a young boy, I would reach out to change the station when "Wonderful Tonight" came on the radio. Then my father would slap my hand away from the dial, curse me, and the belt would come out. Unless we were in the car, then it was the cigarette lighter.

I do too - she had a fairly extended period as the finest cover artist on the planet

you have overcome so much, oh arranger of earthen rectangles (actually, what is the 3-D version of a rectangle?)

anyway, I even like some of the ballads mucho, like "Let It Grow," but the preternatural depth and reserve of Jungian collective-subconscious that he tapped so naturally and prolifically leading to profligate fan deification - as you mention - appears to have been drained by said housebound monkey

That was nothing. My mother would break out the wooden spoon whenever I played the first Motley Crue record too loud. Or the second Ozzy solo album. Strangely, she left me alone whenever I played Run DMC's "Rockbox". I listened to alot of rap after that.

wooden spoon - heh - MY mother broke out the barbed wire spoon when she heard anything other than Doris Day and Patti Page

Clapton deserves a place on this list for his cover of "Layla"

and, inconceivably, it was a huge hit

I don't think the words "Lenny Kravitz" and "Funk" should ever be used in the same sentence.

As for Fishbone, I think they are one of the classic "should've been bigger" bands. They were an extremely high energy live act, but like early-Chili Peppers, they couldn't translate that live energy and emotion to vinyl.

they couldn't translate that live energy and emotion to vinyl.

true.

you can catch snippets of it during the bits of "If I Were A...I'd" on Reality of My Surroundings

it's all there on the first EP: "UGLY" "Party At Ground Zero" "Lyin Ass Bitch" are all classics that leap out of the grooves with energy

Though more inclined toward rock and soul, Lenny can be very funky. Again, other than the image issues, what's the problem with him?

"There She Goes" is definately the worst cover Sixpence did. Most of them ended up pretty good, since Sixpence usually does what good cover songs are supposed to do. They respect the song while making it their own. "There She Goes" fails on making it their own.

That said, it's not amoung the ten worst cover songs ever.

my head is still spinning at the thought of Mariah Carey doing "Open Arms".

anybody know where i can stream a copy of it or something (i'm not a downloading-type person)?

I disagree with the Lenny Kravitz version of American Woman being in there, in fact I like alot of his stuff.
Also, have you heard about Avril Lavigne's live cover of Chop Suey? apparently, if you can manage to hear it the whole way through, you'll then "do a Picasso, in stereo" and chop both your ears off...

!! that's classic.

"a picasso, in stereo"

i'm totally wanking that into my vocabulary.

it was Van Gogh who cut his ear off, and it was only one

or is it some kind of cubist reference?

As Gerald Cosloy from Matador Records used to sign off: "peace, love and kill Lenny Kravitz". I had to speed-scroll (thank-u logitech) through this list for fear of being not only being rendered deaf, dumb and blind, but also not being able to play pin-ball.

Which is why I don't want to think of material to add to the list (though there was an A&M tribute album to Leonard Cohen, which forced him to a Zen monastery for five years).

Okay, Blondie's live version of "Heroes" on their singles box set. Makes you realize what a stupid load of ass the song lyrics are.

Dolphins and the Berlin Wall. WTF?

Eric, you're right on both accounts. However, the "in stereo" part was the modifier from one ear to two.

Any cover of Thunderclap Newman's "Something in the Air". Not a song I particularly like in the first place, but the versions by both Gamma and Fish are truly nauseating, spoiling the otherwise good albums they appear on.

Another horror: Blackmore's Night's version of "The Times they are A'changing".

I have to nominate The Carpenters' cover of "Ticket To Ride" for the worst I've heard (short of the "dentist office" arrangements played on "beautiful music" stations, but let's leave those out of the discussion), but there are other bad Beatles covers out there that boggle the mind:

"She Loves You" - Neil Sedaka, Bobby Vee
"Run For Your Life" - Gary Lewis
"Paperback Writer" - Cowsills
"Please Please Me" - David Cassidy
"I Want To Hold Your Hand" - Freddy Cannon, Pat Boone
"From Me To You" - Debbie Boone
"A Hard Days Night" - Kelly Family

Yikes!

Well, on the positive side there are some pretty outstanding cover interpretations out there also. Off the top of my head I think Kentucky Woman (Niel Diamond)by Deep Purple; All Along the Watchtower (Bob Dylan) by Jimi Hendrix; Young Man Blues (Mose Allison) as performed by the WHO.

Anyway, covers aren't always a lost cause.....

peaceloveguidance

ah yeah, sorry 'bout the mixup of artist names.
Being worse than average at remembering names, plus not really being into art, equals more dumbassery from me...heh
I could reel off a list of covers i think everyone should at least hear once (as in, i think they're good and you should hear them before judging them)
But i already did that a little in some other post awhile ago. OK, maybe tomorrow i'll put together a list of my own and post it and see how many people disagree...

Bad Beatles covers? They don't get any worse than Tiffany butchering "I Saw Her/Him Standing There." Bananarama doing "Help!" also sent my eardrums scurrying for cover. As for Sixpence None the Richer, I don't mind "There She Goes." But I still much prefer The La's original.

The Wilson Phillips version of Fleetwood Mac's "Go Your Own Way" is my new choice for worst cover *ever.*

I concur with the majority here - I always liked the UB40 "Red Red Wine." And I like Sheryl Crow, but dislike most of her covers - I thought her version of "First Cut is the Deepest" is pretty lame, although a lot people seem to like it.

"Clapton deserves a place on this list for his cover of "Layla""
Clapton's "Layla" is not precisely a cover, since he wrote the original with Jim Gordon. I still hate it, however, and I'm a Clapton fan.

"Bad Beatles covers?"
How 'bout William Shatner's spoken word regurgitation of "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds?" IMO, the only person who should be allowed to cover the Fab Four is Joe Cocker, whose "She Came in Through the Bathroom Window" is excellent. (again, IMO)

Faith Hill's cover of Janis' "Piece of My Heart" is an all-time low in the annals of popular music. There should be a constitutional amendment preventing any woman with a squeaky voice from covering Joplin.

Can't remember who did it, but someone covered Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide" a few years ago. While I'm not a huge fan of Buckingham - Nicks era Mac, this vomitous mess is about as bad as I've heard.

Someone recently covered Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi," a rendition nearly as bad as the cover of Landslide mentioned above.

Michael Bolton's cover of Otis Redding's "Dock of the Bay" is pretty dang wretched, although Neil Schon does some nice guitar work on it. People with no soul should not cover soul music.

The Eagles' cover of Tom Waits "Old 55" is fine, but completely changes the dark and brooding atmosphere of the original. Tom's gravelly voice with three-note range replaced by the Eagles' soaring harmonies always struck me as odd.

And finally, the most god-awful cover of all time butchered not one, but two songs at once. Back around 1988 some fluff band called "Will to Power" butchered both Frampton's "Baby I Love Your Way" and Skynyrd's "Freebird" in one medley, put to a trite dance beat. I gag just thinking about it.

"pretty outstanding cover interpretations... All Along the Watchtower (Bob Dylan) by Jimi Hendrix"
Dave Mason also did a superb rendition of Watchtower.

Oh, I forgot one of the great classic bad covers. In the the middle of a mostly surprisingly good Lennon tribute concert video, there's Kylie Minogue on stage singing "Help." She's made it into a disco song, complete with a gay dance troop and a rapper. You really have to SEE that to believe it.

It came out particularly nice in that the video puts it between short versions of the same song by U2 and Roy Orbison.

Speaking of good covers, I know that Springsteen is very popular, but I've always hated his music, his singing, and his guitar playing. I can't explain it except to say there's no accounting for taste.

Manfred Mann's Earth Band made two songs by Springsteen listenable - Blinded By the Light and Spirit in the Night, both on the album The Roaring Silence. "Blinded" was probably their biggest hit ever, with the possible exception of The Mighty Quinn, which I believe was also a cover (Dylan, maybe?).

and just to show ya what a big 'ole world it is out there....i can't stand the Manfred Mann version of Blinded By The Light.

of course, i love Springsteen's music, singing and guitar playing.

Is this a butchering or a classic? Both. How about the Dickies cover version of the Moody Blues "Nights in White Satin".

It is great, it is awful. Excellent.

peaceloveguidance

the Dickies did many a spunky cover: "Gigantor" "Paranoid" "Eve of Destruction" "Communication Breakdown" "Banana Splits"

5 BEST VERSIONS OF "HELTER SKELTER"
1. Husker Du
2. Motley Crue
3. Beatles
4. U2
5. Pat Benatar

Oh, and thanks, I gotta go download that Will to Power Skinnard medley!

worst version of Helter Skelter:

Siouxsie & the Banshees

but their "Dear Prudence" is haunting

Pittsburgh's own The Clarks do a splendiferous live version of "Dear Prudence". And also "You Spin Me"!

that's hilarious Bricky: the greatest song by the gayest band that ever was

(Dead or Alive, that is, not the Clarks or the Beatles)

You mean they had other songs?!?

yeah, but they all sounded the same - surprisingly good guitar work for an electro-pop band, however

I can't believe you've made it 60 comments with no mention of the soundtrack from the movie Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. P.U.

In order of fairnes, I should mention that the Clarks version of "The River" on the recent boss tribute is just plain freaking terrible. Sucks the the life, emotion, and soul out of the wonderful song, and leaves nothing but a mid tempo galloping bit of poop behind.

Joe, perhaps because it has left a crater of despair in its wake that all fear and avoid assiduously

Bricks, "leaves nothing but a mid tempo galloping bit of poop behind" - classic line, haven't heard it, it would appear fortunately. That is one of Bruce's deepest, most moving moments.

True, I pretend that whole year never happened.

Is there a thread for best covers? I'd nominate Aztec Camera's "Jump" and Violent Femmes' "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?"

And spot on regarding Dead or Alive's absolute gaiety. There are like three empty tiers between them and the next closest band.

I dunno about that. What about Right Said Fred. Or Judas Priest?

Or Manowar!

Oh, you meant that kind of gay.

like Bronski Beat kind of gay only much more flamboyant

Ok, I'm constructing a continuum with David Gest, Erasure, and Culture Club and am having a bit of trouble determining which order that would be.

And, I'm pretty sure at certain points of his career, Rod Stewart was at least popularly perceived to fall into that category.

I'm reeling at "sucked the life out of Neil Diamond's 'Red Red Wine.'" How could anyone suck any life out of that?

Only a vampire who subsists entirely on turnips could achieve such a thing.

On a different note, Willam Shatner's cover version of "Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds" cannot be fully appreciated unless it is performed in the original Klingon.

I got no problem with Joss Stone's cover of fell in love with a boy....shit, she's all of 20 and she can flat out sing and someone has the balls to say her cover sucks....????? stoned, and high, and doesn't know nuthin...

American Pie by Madonna & Everybody Hurts by the Corrs.

OK, the version of Stairway to Heaven by Far Corporation. A very aptly named band indeed. I find parody version of the song (such as Frank Zappa's) entertaining, but this bland corporate-rock version has no redeeming features whatosever.

not to be confused with Hairway to Steven

do not mock the Butthole Surfers!!!

Eric, good memory on the Dickies wonderful butchering of songs.

On the good side, Linda Rostadt did a version of "Girl's Talk" by Elvis Costello. She did a very good job.

Some might prefer the originals to a rightous degree, but a cover is wide open to interpretation. The things that some may dislike in a cover, some may like. Hurdy Gurdy Man by the Butthole Surfers I really like. For the same reason I liked Donovan's original. Good job, Surfers!

peaceloveguidance

You really must [NOT] hear the Xaviera Hollander version of "Michelle." "The Happy Hooker" apparently took a little stab at a recording career, the centerpiece of which was this really obnoxiously crass breathy lesbian soft porn version of the Paul McCartney classic.

one of my all-time favorite covers is Mike McGear doing Roxy Music's "SEa Breezes" as produced by McGear's brother Paul McCartney

which naturally brings up all of Bryan Ferry's astonishing covers, perhaps the best of which is John Lennon's "Jealous Guy"

I can repsect you saying Sheryl Crow's cover of "Sweet Child O' Mine" wasn't good, but to say her entire catalogue is "blah"? You can't say that unless you've listened to the entire catalogue, which I have doubts about.

I dont see how you can say that UB40's covers of 'red red wine' and 'can't help falling in love' are awful,
because :-
1)They are great songs and the fans love them
2)It made them lots of money (even though its not their
own material)
3)It sounds great!!

The hopelessly overrated stadium fodder 'Guns N Roses' get top marks from me for perhaps the worst ever cover of a Bob Dylan song and that's saying something as their are many bad Bobs!. Their frankly laughable rendition with Mr Rose warbly comedy vocals are high camp and low taste indeed. Even funnier - I think he means it.

I'd love to hear a duet between old man Steptoe (Brit fans will know who I mean) and mad man on the vibrato Ax - spot the difference.

Roll on Sheryl BTW - so much better than the funny guy, but then, who isnt!

I agree with the Crow remake but UB40's take on Red Red Wine and Can't help falling in love were really done well and fresh.

One of the worst covers I've ever heard was from the Rob and Fab (lipsyncers from Milli Vanilli) album. They did a terrible cover of Cheap Trick's I Want You to Want Me.

Where was Panic!'s cover of Karma Police?
Truly, truly terrible.