Shaving Bush's Bulge with Occam's Razor
Published October 16, 2004
So the other night, I just happened to turn on CNN, yeah, it sucks, but I kind of like trying to guess how much of the screen they are planning to fill up with icons and crawlies, ok, anyway, he was on this stage, and of course the first thing I thought was, oh, no, he's going to sing that song from Cats, and according to the Maya calendar, even time isn't supposed to end till 2013. Or 2012. Whatever. I knew this had to be the moment, so I sort of blipped the radio in. Don't ask me to explain how I blip stuff places. It's a God thing, you wouldn't understand.
So I start off trying to talk to him in a normal voice, just telling him to calm down, walk away from the microphone, walk out of the building, and get in the van. Yeah, I had blipped a van. And a driver. Sweet, gentle guy, who was gonna take him to this really nice place. I'm serious, really really nice. Lots of grass, trees, but a structured, safe environment, they can't hurt themselves there, they can't hurt anybody else - did I tell you his father never listened to me either? Is this pretzel crumbs in the ear thing hereditary? Hang on, let me email Greg. He'll know.
Maybe I used the wrong frequency. I usually try to program a back door in somewhere, in case I really absolutely positively have to get in, but I think his may have malfunctioned.
Or it could be that my signal got eaten up by that guy talking to him through the earpiece.
One Love,
God
- Shaving Bush's Bulge with Occam's Razor
- Published: October 16, 2004
- Type:
- Section: Politics
- Writer: DuctapeFatwa
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