Let's begin with the obvious: Jake Shears, lead singer of glam-phenomenom superband "Scissor Sisters" is way hot. He is a mick-jaggered edged-up bowie in skintight leather pants and velvet frocks. He looks like the wholesome boy next door AND the dirty fag who deflowers the boy next door on a lark. In short, he's a rockstar and the first one we've had in ages. Listening to the Scissor Sisters is like getting laid for the first time after a lifetime of heavy petting.

Wrapping up their North American tour in Los Angeles on Wednesday, the band (which I heard described as "Jake Shears, his fag hag and a bunch of boys he's slept with") played pretty much every damn thing off their new album. While the L.A. crowd often had to be admonished to cheer louder, I blame this more on Angelino somanumbulism than on the band's ability to energize. For those who don't know what a Scissor Sisters concert entails, here's a brief rundown:

Dolly Parton music introduces the band
They play their hit first
Jake gets people to throw their clothes on stage.
Ms. Matronic gets people to throw their clothes on stage.
You are expected to dance.
More clothes come off.
Rinse. Repeat.

I think the Scissor Sisters work not because they are "retro". Sure, they sound like Elton John, Fleetwood Mac and the Bee Gees, but whereas those musicians burned out in their 40's, the Scissor Sisters sound like a band that has already burned-out, spent years in obscurity and came back for their triumphant reunion tour. Do you get it? They're the sound of my generation: cynical and burned out at 19, full of love and hope and fun at 30. Watching the Sisters play Wednesday, drenched in auditory glitter and dancing my ass off, I thought, "Who knew? Style and Substance go hand in hand."