It would seem that reviews coming in for the new TV series Dr. Vegas are somewhat less than encouraging. Variety sets the tone by calling it "an ill-conceived medical franchise providing further evidence that some things that happen in Vegas really should stay in Vegas" (a joke that most reviewers, notorious for our their lack of creativity, seem to be parroting).

Having seen the previews, I can't say that this is all that surprising. Rob Lowe has elevated committing career suicide to an art form, though the fact that he can still get work proves we're all willing to forgive a celebrity that takes Huey Long's old "dead girl/live boy" adage to heart, even if the live girl they're caught with happens to be underage.

However, I can't for the life of me figure out why anyone ever bothers to put Joe Pantoliano in a television series. The guy's arguably worse than Ted McGinley, since McGinley only kills shows that have reached a decent level of maturity, Pantoliano murders them in their cribs. To prove this theory (which I refer to as the Pantoliano Premature Hollywood Homicide Hypothesis), I've compiled a list of his TV series apperances, exhaustively researched at great taxpayer expense:

Free Country (1978) - Rob Reiner's first post-All in the Family TV gig was billed as the story of Lithuanian immigrants in turn-of-the-century New York City. With an action-packed plot like that, and a cast including the likes of Larry Gelman and Hot Shots! Part Deaux's Judith Kahan, it's a wonder this never took off.

The Fanelli Boys (1990-1991) - AKA Everybody Loves Guido. The cancellation of The Fanelli Boys served notice to lovers of Italian stereotyping everywhere that America would no longer tolerate jokes at the expense of hairy mooks in wife-beater t-shirts.

Beethoven (1994) - Remember the good old days, when the networks would make a half-assed aninmated series out of every marginally successful movie featuring a Saint Bernard and Charles Grodin? Good times.

EZ Streets (1996) - By all accounts, this was a pretty good show. The presence of Joey Pants and the alleged association with EZ Wider rolling papers were all the government needed to pull the plug, sadly.