Most Recent Communication Alleged to be from Osama bin Laden
Published September 28, 2004
Dear Mr Goss,
I have served the agency faithfully now for well over a quarter of a century, and if I may be allowed to say so, served it well. During that time, many agency colleagues have enjoyed record product sales and resulting profits, up to and including Operation Unity in the fall of 2001.
Shortly after the (very) successful completion of Operation Unity, I was granted sabbatical leave that is now entering its third year.
During that time, I have conscientiously followed all sabbatical protocols, including identity transition and naturally all confidientiality and non-disclosure provisions, both standard and enhanced.
Let me take this opportunity to state that I have no intention of violating any agreements of this nature, as I consider them legally binding as well as a matter of ethics and national security.
However, within those parameters, I am requesting your authorization to accept a non-agency related employment opportunity that I believe would be of a personal benefit to me. I give you my assurance that it would not compromise the agency in any way.
As you are probably already aware, I am referring to a very generous offer made to my sabbatical identity by the Los Anglees Lakers organization. Although I am considerably past the age of most rookies, they feel that I have some unique qualities that could be an asset to the team.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely
(name was blacked out)
P.S. Could you PLEASE tell Maria in Accounting that size 14 sandals have to be specially made over there and $35 is not an unreasonable line item in this case? We have been going back and forth over this since July of 2000 and I would really like to get reimbursed and get it off my books, and I am sure she would too. TIA.
- Most Recent Communication Alleged to be from Osama bin Laden
- Published: September 28, 2004
- Type:
- Section: Politics
- Writer: DuctapeFatwa
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Comments
Very well done, clever and funny. Seriously, however, do you really think bin Laden has a relationship with the CIA, and what do you think it is/was?
I'm not sure they even bother denying the history of bin Laden's employment with the CIA, although there are some who theorize that the association ended, while still others assert that whatever may have or have not transpired, or when, there are no *ex*-CIA assets...
where is osama bin laden and why did he start to hate usa









Are you implying that Saddam would be a shooting guard? Pretty funny..