Swift Boat Veterans For Truth
Published August 27, 2004
I heard (from an ultra-secret source that doesn't actually exist) that the group known as the Swift Boat Veterans For Truth considered a number of different names before deciding call themselves what they eventually did. Here is an abridged list:
- Swift Boat Veterans For Four More Years Of Tax Cuts For The Rich And Endless Global War
- Swift Boat Veterans For a Few Lies, Sure, But Not As Many As Kerry Told
- Swift Boat Veterans Who Think Kerry's Senate Testimony In 1971 Makes Him A Real Asshole
- Hoobastank (taken)
- Old Guys Who Want Their 15 Minutes Of Fame To Include A Thorough Anal Rape By The Mainstream Media
- Swift Boat Veterans Who Invested In Halliburton
- Swift Boat Veterans For Hunts Ketchup
- Insane Clown Posse Of Swift Boat Veterans
- Vietnam Veterans With Three More Limbs Than Max Cleland
- A Sinister Cabal Of Superior Veterans
- Swift Boat Veterans Who Say That, Sure, We Raped The Occasional Sobbing 12-Year Old Vietnamese Peasant Girl, But At Least We Don't Look Like A Character From The Addams Family
- Karl Rove's Slander-Sluts
My "source" also tells me that John Kerry shaves his ass in order to make it easier for Teresa to give him 57 varieties of enemas.
RJ Elliott is a graduate student studying Criminal Justice at the University Of Central Florida. His likes include nature, sports, and pierced blondes. He dislikes daytime television, left-wing dictators, and lead-tainted Chinese imports. He is ambivalent about Angelina Jolie.
- Swift Boat Veterans For Truth
- Published: August 27, 2004
- Type:
- Section: Politics
- Filed Under: Culture: Humor and Satire
- Writer: RJ Elliott
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Comments on this articleComments
this is a great one RJ, I like the sinister cabal for some odd reason
Slow Boat to Cambodia
Sen. Kerry's poll numbers have recently decreased due to an television ad, filled with the unfounded allegation of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. Only one of these swift boat veterans served with Kerry, the one being a doctor that questions the origin and severity of the wound that led to Kerry's first purple heart.
The group has many connection, to Karl Rove, Texas Republicans and the Bush family. Pres. Bush denies the ads are connected to his campaign and continues to say that Sen. Kerry served honorably in Vietnam. Why does he still refuse to join Sen. McCain in condemning the ads?
These attacks are similar to the ones used on John McCain, who spent several years in a POW camp, or Max Cleland, who had his legs and an arm amputated in Vietnam. In McCain's campaign for the presidency, his ware record was question, and in bid for re-election to the Senate, Cleland was compared to Osama bin Laden. Sen John McCain has called the ad dishonorable and deplorable.
Attacking the war record, or the patriotism, of political candidates seems to have become an accepted campaign tactic, but it shouldn't be. But in the cases of Sen. McCain, Max Cleland, and Sen. Kerry it has been an effective tactic. As long the American people continue to accept these unfair attacks, they will be a part of political campaigns to come.
If 4 monthbs and 12 days in the RVN qualify that lying sonofabith to be commander in chief...I gueass my fourteen months in the RVN qualifiy me to be God...so ZAPPPP you're all sterile.
Have a nice day.
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rj:
fucking brilliant.
my favorite is karl rove's slander-sluts.
that is a great name for a band.
jack e. jett