ARE THEY OUT OF THEIR TEA SIPPING MINDS??????
Some simple facts would be nice before I rant and ramble I suppose. JM Barrie was great and kind enough to permit Great Ormond Street hospital to receive all copyright monies from his play adaptation of Peter Pan. In 1988 the United Kingdom Parliament decided that it would be a fine a good thing if said Great Ormond Street hospital would receive said monies until the end of time or until a contrary bill passes through whichever comes first.

Which sounds all cool and dandy you know. Perpetual money going toward a children's hospital I can stomach that without the antacid it's cool. But this is where it gets all kinds of kooky. Great Ormond Street wishes to publish a sequel to Peter Pan. They can take the royalties from this book perpetually and lots of little children will be happy safe within the confines of the hospital. Wonderful little setup there I can't disagree with that.

Except it's crazy. Except it's inane. Except it's absolutely the most absurd piece of crap trap imaginable. Get this they want some poor hapless writer to somehow formulate a children's story that will miraculously match up to the original. Writer will churn or hack the monstrosity out in the hopes that s/he doesn't get assassinated by Barrie terrorists. In fairness to the writer unwritten it could even be a decent book. A nice happy book with plenty of storytelling and sneaky metaphors bound to amuse both children and the literary establishment. Really there is that possibility. Honest.

It is impossible, however, to feed the expectations of current lovers of all things Peter Pan. You can try to copy Barrie's theme and style and hope to god you don't come across as merely trying to ape him. Or if you want you can do something bold and experimental by placing Pan in the immediate world with all the cultural nuisances. In that case you run the risk of catering to the hips and modern market.

There is no win situation. People will whine, people will complain and the book will be dead on arrival confined to bargain bins within six months of its publication. There will be press circulating the oh my god opinions of Pansters all over the world about how this is a travesty to god, love, and the childhood mind. The four horsemen of the apocalypse will stop their game of Chinese checkers to have a press conference on the "new" Peter Pan book. It won't be good. It's won't be anything decent to watch on prime time television. People are going to get killed in this fiasco.

Strike out this sequel to Peter Pan idea. Instead invite authors to write new children's stories. Let the hospital create a small press to specifically publish these works. Invite authors to give away their royalties for the chance to participate in helping these sick kids the care they need. Be original for crying out loud, the sequel is the last resort of the mundane and needs no further opportunity for growth.

I feel better now thank you.