Top Ten Worst Rock Stars (Craig Edition)
Published August 21, 2004
I am going to put Lionel Richie on the list too. The same songwriting rules apply to Lionel that applied to Billy Joel. Oh, and put his daughter in the description because her resume reads "Professional Retarded Slut" and Lionel is a slam dunk for this list.
Is Sammy Hagar famous enough for this list? I sure think so, but he can thank Eddie Van Halen for it. The reason he makes this list are his solo efforts, "I can't Drive 55" and the infomercial-errific "Mas Tequila." Someone should take him and Vince Neil out back and put a couple bullets in their heads for them. Aren't they basically the same guy anyway?
Finally, I will include Meatloaf. He only has two albums, but he is on the list. He has to be on the list. He has made me cringe on more occasions than I can count by having "Love by the Dashboard Light" which I have given the subtitle (effing in a car, that has gone on so long that I can no longer stand to sit here and listen to it anymore.) Oh and by the way, did I mention that it is a popular Karaoke tune for people to sing horribly and off-key? It wouldn't be a problem if I could just hate him, but then he goes and plays Robert Paulson in Fight Club and does a pretty good job opposite Ed Norton and Brad Pitt. This means that I can't hate him completely and totally. This dichotomy is what puts him on the list for me.
So that rounds up the list of the 10 worst rock stars. Any that I missed?
- Top Ten Worst Rock Stars (Craig Edition)
- Published: August 21, 2004
- Type:
- Section: Music
- Writer: Craig Lyndall
- Craig Lyndall's BC Writer page
- Craig Lyndall's personal site
- Spread the Word
- Like this article?
- Email this
Save to del.icio.us
Comments
Much love for "Downeaster Alexa", that song makes me want to put on my Gorton's fisherman raincoat and drive a little dingy in some "Perfect Storm" kind of waves.
I will admit that Joel's earlier work was a lot more biting, but his newer stuff didn't suck...it was just differently styled.
I'd like to nominate Ian Astbury from The Cult to your list because he acted like a bad rock star before he was, while he was, and continues to act like a bad rock after he was.
Lionel Richie has earned my undying respect ever since that duet with Rob Zombie. As to Astbury, he indeed deserves to be on the list. or "wolf child" or "jim morrison" or whatevr we're suppossed to call him nowadays.
you said many of the frontmen ive been annoyed by. scott stapp and especially the darkness... i hate that band! i cant stand his singing. how about some love for good music like velvet revolver...
Of course, it would be nice if you defined "worst" before you started? If you wanna talk about the least talented hack job, but successful rock stars, then you start out well with Durst, Stapp, Gallagher bros. But then you sort of lose your way talking about stars that you admit make good music, but that you can't stand personally. There's a big difference between no talent douche bags and guys with actual talent that have crappy personalities. You missed plenty of wastes of air, including Kid Rock, Ja Rule, Evanescence, and many others.
These guys all annoy me as I said in the opening. Some are due to music, some are due to attitude and some (Lionel Richie) are due to their tabloid daughter.
This is my list, I am sure there are many more who fit on it. Evanescence for one probably don't fit on musically, but losing their guitar player and co-writer right after their first album hit it huge is definitely something that could see them added.
What is it about bands on Wind-up records who want to make this list?
Hello.... Craig,
Sounds to me like you are a bit jealuos, and have nothing better to do with your time than to rate people that actually have a life. I am not sure who died and left you Judge Wapner, but I will tell you that someday you will be judged by the same measure in which you judge others,and for your sake I hope you are judged as a douche instead of an enima. So you don't like some singers big deal there are probablly some people who don't like you so instead of hiding behind your inferiority, and a keyboard why don't you actually listen to the words (creed) before you go rating anyone. I also think you should apply the era to the song also (Hagar) I find it funny that kids (anyone under 30) want to rate music & songwriters from before their time. It would be comprable to a 65 year old trying to rate nickleback. Do us a favor craig and give us a break.
Since when are Creed fans allowed to take off their helmets and use computers?
I didn't say I was a creed fan I just simply said there are more things to consider when rating singer/songwriters. I for one am a huge fan of Elton John, Rod Stewart, and Stevie Ray Vaughn
1. Bono and U2 His heart might be in the right place but he has to be the most pretentious human being on the face of the planet.
2. William Hung. Who told that guy he could sing?
3. Ashley Simpson. She gives me the heebee jeebies.
4. Everyone in Led Zepplin.
5. Elvis Presley. I never liked his music or his films. Even if I had, I would have lost any respect for him because he died of a drug overdose in his bathroom.....I refuse to worship anyone who wastes their talents, be it in music, acting or whatever.












"River of Dreams" may be my favorite Billy Joel song, and "Downeaster Alexa" is high on the list.
Admittedly though, he could use a small smack down for "We Didn't Start the Fire." On the other hand, the invocation of this song gives me a good excuse to bring up a classic obscure song from Brenda Khan, a slamming little ditty called "Eggs on Drugs." She breaks it down thusly, "Billy Joel thinks he's political cause he can memorize an encyclopedia."