Movie Review: Alien vs. Predator

Written by Chris Beaumont
Published August 20, 2004
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One thing that I liked was the way they kept the Queen Alien frozen under the ice, preserved for when they needed her to start laying eggs. Once the trap was set for the victims, the Queen was moved into position where she thawed out and began laying the face-hugger eggs. Problems arise when you start thinking about how many she can lay, and how many people were there. Combine that with how fast the Aliens go from bursting from the host to being full-grown. At times it seemed as if they would have had to spring forth full grown. Plus we never see just how many people are there, but there must have been a lot, there seemed like a veritable army of Predators.

A point that I thought was funny was when they opened the sarcophagus, revealing the Predator's blasters. Apparently, they don't recognize them as being metal, much less technology. They refer to them as artifacts and wonder what they are. Some scientists they are. Springing forth from that is how they talk to each other. Supposedly they are all highly educated scientists and whatnot, but they talk to each other as if they were in grade school. I understand the idea of having to talk in a way that the audience will be able to get enough to understand, but too often we get dialogue that is insulting to the intelligence of the viewers.

One of my favorite aspects of the film was also one of the corniest of execution. It was established in the comic books, and also makes a nice extension to what a Predator is understood to be. It is the way that a Predator will adopt a human once they have proven themselves in battle, in this case, our hero, Alex. There is a bit of silliness with the Alien shield and such, but for some reason it does work.

There are a few more things I would like to get out before wrapping up. I know, sometimes I can be long winded and rambling,but hey, that's why you love me. I hope.

The movie is hampered by it's rating. By there nature both Alien and Predator movies are violent, often bloody affairs. When you have a movie restricted to a PG-13 rating, there are a lot of things you can't do. There is very small amount of blood, most deaths occur off camera. Sometimes less does not equal more. These movies have always had certain elements that were over the top, the more action involved, the more blood involved. Look at Aliens, a rather violent bloody, R-rated film, also Predator, a rather violent affair as well. This movie needed more blood, it came across as being "sanitized for your viewing pleasure." This movie really needed to be an over the top epic of great proportions. Sadly it ended up as a chopped up family film. One thing I will give it credit for is that the Aliens did get pretty gooey, which is a good thing, but sadly not enough.

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Christopher Beaumont spends much of his time writing about entertainment when he isn't sitting in a movie theater. He is known around the office as the "Movie Guy" and is always ready to talk about his favorite form of entertainment and offer up recommendations. Interests include science fiction, horror, and metal music. His writings can be found at Draven99's Musings and Draven99's Media Center.
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Movie Review: Alien vs. Predator
Published: August 20, 2004
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Section: Video
Filed Under: Video: Action, Video: Fantasy, Video: Horror, Video: SF, Video: Thriller
Writer: Chris Beaumont
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